To get motivated when you aren’t, you first need to find the motivation to motivate yourself.
I recognize that sounds like word soup or an antimetabole, and it kind of is. At the very least it suffers from the problem of infinite regression. After all, how can you get up the motivation to motivate yourself if you don’t have enough motivation to be motivated in the first place? Turtles all the way down.
Thankfully, there are some forces that are a lot more powerful than our conscious minds. Forces we can use as an external push to provide a solid foundation for all those turtles and kick start some motivation without effort on our part.
The Power of Negativity
In general, humans seem to be creatures motivated in a primary way by negativity over positivity.
People tend to remember negative memories stronger than positive ones, they tend to react more strongly to losing something than gaining something and they tend to be more effected by avoiding discomfort than seeking pleasure. Anyone working in customer service will tell you that almost no one calls in to say how great service was, but plenty of people will call in to complain about even relatively minor problems. A bad experience is more likely to spur you to action than a good one.
There are a lot of ways to harness these tendencies and we’ve talked in the past about using similar principles to set up barriers. We’re going to focus on providing the kick start for getting motivated though, and that’s going to involve three primary negative emotions: Revulsion, Fear & Anger.
Personally I think revulsion might be one of the most instinctual, primal & difficult to resist emotions we have so I give it the most weight. Don’t agree? Let’s try a little thought experiment.
Picture a friend or family member vomiting violently into a poorly maintained public toilet, perhaps in a truck stop or something similar. When they’re finished, imagine dunking your head in there.
I’ll wait a moment while those of you with easily upset stomachs or particularly vivid imaginations collect yourselves.
Revulsion is a strong enough force that it tends to completely eliminate any semblance of choice in our decision making. A lot of this is a result of our neurology, our brains make our decisions for ‘us’ before our consciousness is aware of it, but an average properly functioning human would not see voluntarily dunking their face into a vomit filled toilet as a true choice. It probably wouldn’t even register as a possibility.
Another way to illustrate this is to imagine someone walking up to you and pointing to some dog poop nearby and asking, “Hey, aren’t you going to eat that?” It’s an absurd question because you normally wouldn’t have even considered it. You don’t have to stop every time you see dog poop and ask yourself whether you want to eat some or not.
This is the kind of feeling you want to cultivate around not doing whatever it is you’re trying to get motivated to do.
You need to imagine how things will go if you don’t do what it is you’re trying to get motivated to do an fixate on how disgusting and revolting that future would be to you. Imagine not finding a career or starting a business you love and spending the rest of your life in a tedious job you despise. Imagine not learning that language you want to speak and missing out on all the great conversations, relationships, travel, books, music & movies that come with it. Imagine not trying to get in shape and just getting fatter and sicker and weaker.
Then feel disgusted about it.
Once you’ve cultivated that disgust you can use it to automate your actions a bit. Eventually you can get to the point where certain things, skipping a workout to lay around and watch movies and eat ice cream for example, feels like as much of a viable option as going for a swim in sewage pit.
If you’re not able to generate a very strong feeling of revulsion
Fear is another powerful primal emotion. Physically I think fear’s a little easier to overcome than revulsion – for example when Fear Factor was on everyone talked about contesting eating disgusting things more than they did them doing scary stuff – but it’s still a strong motivator.
The key here is to follow the same kind of pattern as with developing a sense of revulsion except envision outcomes that terrify you instead. Imagine being publicly humiliated when you fail to reach your goals. Imagine breathing your last breath with the realization that you never accomplished anything you actually care about.
Once that sense of fear is established you can apply it the same way. Allow the thought of being lazy and blowing off what you need to do to reach your goals tie into the thought of where you’ll wind u as a result.
Remind yourself of the consequences of not doing what you need to do and let the fear of them push you into action.
I list anger last because I think it’s the hardest to really control out of all of them. On top of that, if focused inward anger can wind up hurting your motivation more than giving it a little push.
The key here is to find something to act as a lens with which to focus all of the anger outward. Then you can harness that energy to provide a solid base for building up some motivation.
It may differ from person to person on what works best as that lens, but I think the one that resonates with people most easily is revenge. Now this may just be a reflection of growing up as a shy, fat, nerdy kid and suffering the slings and arrows of public high school as such – it’s hard to say.
Most people have someone though, either now or in the past, who bullied them, talked down to them, denigrated their efforts, belittled them, whatever. Most people have someone in whose face they’d like to throw their success accompanied by a little dance and some select waving of middle fingers. Latching on to that drive and having something to prove to somebody lets you grab on to anger and make sure it doesn’t get turned in on yourself by affixing it to an external entity.
To be fair, even externally focused, this is probably the most potentially detrimental or self-destructive of the three. I know some people are going to click with this one most though, so it’s worth mentioning as an option.
Have you used any of these emotions to provide fuel for your motivation? Do you have something better? Tell us in the comments!
Photo Credit: Cross-Stitch Ninja