2012 to 2013: A Year in Review

Ashinoko Dreams by Les Taylor

Getting to Japan was one goal that we didn’t accomplish this year.

Being my birthday today, it’s time for another annual review.

It’s been a really long year this time around the Sun, and I plan on doing this review a little differently than ones I’ve done in the past, hopefully to dig in a little deeper and figure out what went well, what didn’t go so well, and most importantly what things I need to change moving forward.

Rather than focus so much on goals like I have in the past, instead I’m going to focus on what I did, what went wrong, what went right and then where I need to go from here in that order. To keep things simple I’m going to try to focus on picking 3 to 5 things for each category so I don’t get too carried away. So let’s get started!

What I Did This Year

  • Left a job teaching English that I despised for one as a personal trainer that I enjoy

  • Published several short fiction stories.

  • Wrote our 60-page getting started eBook.

  • Became an early riser.

  • Wrote over 50,000 words in 30 days.

  • Hit the lowest bodyfat percentage of my adult life.

What I’m Most Proud Of

  • Planning, finishing and publishing our ebook.

  • Getting in the best shape of my life and continuing to improve.

  • Escaping a job that was killing me for one I actually like.

Finishing the ebook was a pretty big project, but we were able to plan everything out, break it into smaller more manageable tasks and rock the whole thing out in a much more efficient manner than I originally expected. In addition to being really pleased with how well it turned out I’m also happy at how fun of an overall experience it wound up being. It almost never felt like work and when I got into the zone I really loved working on it.

To be fair the fitness achievements were a long time in coming and certainly not down to only work put in this past year, but still. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made in the past year and even more proud of the fact that I continue to improve.

Leaving my job as an English teacher was also a big jump since I abandoned a stable, decently paying job to basically be unemployed while I got the necessary certifications taken care of to be hired as a personal trainer at a gym with no actual guarantee any gym would be hiring. It turned out well and I’m happy I had the guts to go for it rather than doing what was easy.

How I’ve Improved

  • I’ve recaptured my focus / drive.

  • I’ve started to focus more on the future.

  • I’ve gained a lot of control over myself.

For a decent stretch of time there, particularly when I was working the most teaching English, I lost a lot of the drive that had enabled me previously to get a lot done. It was a combination of a lot of things, and a big chunk of it was coming home after work and pretty much just wanting to collapse, but I’ve since recaptured my focus. Now even on days when I feel like absolute crap I can pull things together enough to get what I need to do done.

I also had a bad habit of focusing on the past. The death of my grandma this past April caused me to reflect on a lot of things – it still is, she was like a parent to me and frankly I’m still crushed by it. Part of that reflection was realizing that I need to shift my focus to where I’m going and learn to worry less about where I’ve been and things that I have no power to change.

A lot of the control I’ve gained over myself relates to ignoring my compulsions to resist work, particularly when I’m in a bad mood. It might just be my escape from a soul-crushing job, but I’m much more able to suppress my desire for comfort in order to accomplish the tasks I’ve set for myself.

What I’ve Learned

  • Never miss an opportunity to let someone know how much you care about them.

  • Taking social risks opens up countless more opportunities than being introverted.

  • A little progress toward a task each day for a long enough period adds up to be huge.

My grandma lived in an addition on to my parents’ house. We were over at my parents’ house one day to pick some things up and, rather than stop back into Grandma’s house to say hi and visit for a bit before leaving, I figured I’d just see her next time and we left. Two days later my mom called to tell me she had passed away. Never miss an opportunity.

I’ve worked a lot this past year to be more social – growing up I was the fat, nerdy, super-awkward kid so I’ve always been kind of on the shy side. Learning to be a lot more social and work on my social anxiety has been extremely beneficial and not only helped me create a lot of new friendships but opened up a lot of opportunities.

Between finishing my books and, more lately, the beginnings of our latest challenge I’ve found that stable, consistent productivity gets a lot more done than my normal, manic-burst style. Being able to work on our books daily, little by little, added up to a much larger volume of work than I ever could have accomplished in much smaller frantic sprints. I’ll be harnessing this method a lot more often in the future.

What I’d Do Differently

  • Get on a more consistent work schedule.

  • Check more frequently to ensure what I’m doing is getting me toward my long term goals.

  • Take more frequent opportunities to have fun and relax.

All last year my work schedule was inconsistent and frantic. As a result, some things got done very quickly and efficiently like the book while other things fell way behind where they should’ve been like the couple spans on here and on our other site One Clean Plate that went by with zero new posts written.

Checking more frequently to make sure that what I was working on was actually taking me in the direction of my long term goals is another thing that would’ve benefited me greatly this past year. There were a handful of times I think I drifted a little, or lost focus on where I was trying to go and as a result it was difficult sometimes to figure out what I really needed to be doing.

Lastly, the fact that I had such an inconsistent work schedule meant I tended to go overboard when I did work and burn myself out completely. That meant long, non-productive chill out times in order to recover which tended to be really counterproductive and hard to climb back out of. I think I would’ve been a lot more productive and successful if, rather than working myself to the bone, I had made a point of taking time out in intervals throughout those periods to relax and go have some fun.

What I Need to Stop Doing

  • Wasting so much time.

  • Trying to chase too many goals at once.

  • Depending on work from a company for income over my own projects

The first two are things I’ve definitely progressed in but still need some work with. A lot of my time wasting this past year has come from my issue with burning myself out completely and then needing a few days of moping around and relaxing to recover. That definitely needs to stop. I also have a bad habit of taking on way more projects at once than I can juggle and then having everything fall apart. That’s got to stop too.

Lastly I really need to get to a point where I’m not relying on income from an employer for survival. I am finally in work I genuinely enjoy as a personal trainer, but I don’t want it to be what I subsist off of. I’d like the freedom of knowing the income streams that support me come from my own projects and that I can work as a personal trainer more as a choice and less as a necessity.

What I Need to Start Doing

  • Go out and socialize more.

  • Take more action on goals.

  • Sticking to a consistent schedule.

Like I mentioned earlier in the article I recognize that a lot of success is determined not so much by how much you know or how good you are at something but by who you know. You can argue the merits of that kind of system up and down, but regardless I find it in practice to be true. As a result, I think my chances of being able to do the things I want to do and take on the kinds of projects I’d like to take on will be benefit immensely by my getting out and socializing more, particularly with like-minded people.

In a similar vein I need to talk less about my goals and work more toward them. I’ve always been a compulsive planner and as a result I sometimes over-plan and over-analyze and as a result never get to the part where I actually act on my goals. Going forward I need to focus a lot more on the action.

I also need a more consistent schedule to make sure I get what I need to do done. My experiences with this latest challenge and the Seinfeld productivity method have reinforced my notion that consistent regular work is a much better way to get things done. Getting on a better schedule will facilitate this change.

Why I Succeeded

  • I was willing to make risky decisions.

  • I focused intently on certain projects.

  • I didn’t allow myself to worry about things.

Why I Failed

  • I overestimated my own abilities and diligence.

  • I destroyed myself working fanatically on certain projects.

  • I didn’t spend enough time considering what I wanted out of life.

Those last handful I think are fairly self-explanatory.

That’s my 25th year of life in review. How has your current year been going so far? What are somethings you’ve done well? What are some things you need to fix? Leave a comment and let me know.

Photo Credit: Les Taylor

Is Your Inner Monologue Helping or Hurting Your Success? Four Ways to Change Your Mindset and Be More Positive

The Mighty Hunter by James M. Turley

“Thoughts become things.” – Buddha

Before you begin a task or attempt to learn something new, does it make sense to first insult yourself or the subject? To tell yourself that it’s hard or you aren’t smart enough to do it?

It’s not intentional, but often people do it anyway. It’s forgivable – our brains do appear to be wired for negativity, or we remember negative experiences more often than positive ones. However, it’s not inexcusable forever. As soon as you want to do something new or need to gain a new skill, your mindset and how you approach it can have a huge impact on whether or not you will succeed.

Sometimes it’s a memory from childhood (negative emotions around something you had a bad experience with coming back to haunt you) or a cultural negativity toward a subject (X language is HARD!) or a simple fear of failure. There’s lots of ways negativity infects our thoughts and impacts our performance and ability to learn new things.

To make matters worse these negative thoughts not only hurt your chances of success, they also increase your stress levels which leads to, among many things, elevated cortisol, decreased memory, weight gain (or difficulty losing) and disrupted sleep. You are pretty much screwed. Except that you’re not.

The more you allow these negative thoughts to seep into your brain, the more you become them. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy, so-to-speak. But you can break this negative mindset and instead retrain yourself to think positively. Vain affirmations not necessary.

Four Ways to Change Your Mindset and Be More Positive

1. Practice Mindfulness

Being mindful is to pay attention to the present moment without judgment, or “living in the now.” When you are mindful you are focused on the task at hand – not distracted by other things or, worse, past experiences or worrying about the future. In other words, practicing mindfulness allows you to be more balanced and positive which will then enhance your mental performance.

So how can you practice being more mindful? You can start meditating daily or, if you prefer moving meditation give that a try. By taking breaks to clear your mind, doing one thing at a time and being slow and deliberate about it and paying attention to your thoughts to prohibit worrying about the past or future you will slowly build the habit of mindfulness.

Want another reason to practice mindfulness? There is some evidence that being mindful can increase the gray matter in the brain’s hippocampus, an area of the brain important for learning, memory and emotion, while also reducing gray matter in the amygdala, an area of the brain associated with stress and anxiety.

2. Redefine Failure

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

Have you failed yet today?

Changing your attitude toward failure can go a long way to giving you a more positive attitude and getting rid of negative thinking. Don’t treat your failures as something to be ashamed of, be proud of them! Through your failures you not only learn, but you also grow in your experience and insights.

If a fear of failure is preventing you from even beginning to take action, take a closer look at it. What will happen if you fail? What are the possible scenarios? How can you prevent the worst? And, most importantly, if the worst happens anyway, is it the end of the world?

The answer to that last one is that, more likely than not, it wont be the end of the world. Like Henry Ford was getting at, you need to remind yourself that when you do fail that the world isn’t over; You can still take action, or get back up and try again, this time a little wiser than you were before.

Not convinced? Need more reasons to go fail? We recently posted an article just on Why You Need to Go Out And Fail.

3. Be Diligent

When you are studying Chinese grammar you can complain about how hard it is or you can, using smart techniques, keep working on it bit by bit every day.

If you are taking on a huge project it can get overwhelming and a little voice in the back of your head might start telling you that it’s impossible to complete. The negatives thoughts can paralyze you – if you let them.

When those negative thoughts creep into your head take a moment to refocus, take a break if you need to. Divide the huge task into small, manageable chunks and have some way to positively reward yourself when you have completed your smaller goals, preferably with something like a nice green check mark on a calendar to indicate your progress and success.

Over time, the small successes build up and not only boost your overall optimism and positivity toward that particular goal, but you will be able to apply these same principles toward other goals you take on.

4. Take Control

Taking control is probably the most important of all of these lessons. Positive people don’t just have a good day, and success doesn’t just happen by accident – they make these things happen.

One of the causes of stress and self-directed negativity are hopes and wishes lacking action. Being passive won’t get you closer to your goals and most certainly won’t bring you success. Be pro-active and actively work toward success, whatever that may look like for you. Whether it’s constructing your ideal life, being able to speak another language, starting a business or getting healthier.

You have control over your actions and reactions – you have a choice. The more you are passive about goals and creating systems and situations that move you closer to success, the wider the gap gets between you and positivity and success.

I know it’s ridiculous to just expect everyone to suddenly change their actions, but it’s not ridiculous to suggest that you make it a habit. By combining the above advice about mindfulness with the goal of taking more control, you can slowly build this into a habit. Be mindful, take note of negative or passive thoughts and actions, and build the habit of changing them into action and positivity.

Being positive is ultimately about mindful action and re-framing typically negative situations like failure.

Have you struggled with negative thoughts? What has or hasn’t worked for you? Tell us what you think in the comments below.

Photo Credit: James M. Turley

Stop Fishing: Overcoming the Drug of Consumerism

Consumerism Explained by Vermin Inc

Is there any more iconic symbol of consumerism?

Henry David Thoreau, one of my favorite authors, once said “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” (Tweet this.)

I think this is an excellent reflection of the consumerism driven cycle most people get trapped in and then spend their entire lives fulfilling. Consumerism dominates modern life, at least here in the U.S. but I would wager throughout the developed world as well.

It’s a pervasive thing that really saturates our culture. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem, except it almost always leads to an artificial and transient state of happiness that leaves people unfulfilled. In other words it tends to make life suck.

So how do we break out of the consumerist cycle?

The First World’s Drug of Choice

To understand how best to escape the cycle it’s important to first have an idea of how it works and why it’s so heinous in the first place.

The consumerist cycle primarily operates by creating a deep sense of loss that leads to a sense of need. When you see someone with something new and cool that seems to make them happy you want to be happy too. Not also having this item that’s making the other person happy makes you feel like you’re missing out which creates a strong internal sense of loss.

Loss, as a motivating factor, is much more powerful to humans than a sense of potential gain. Studies have shown that people who have to do something or lose $5 are much more likely to do it than people who have to do something to earn $5. This sense of loss about missing out on the feeling of having this thing is a powerful motivator that strongly encourages you to buy it.

What does that lead to though? As soon as the next thing comes around that sense of loss returns – possibly stronger if reinforced by being rewarded with a shiny new thing last time it came around.

If you look around at the kind of life most people fall into all of their work tends to amount to fulfilling the next step in that cycle. You work to buy a house, a car, a new phone and then once you have them you work more to get a bigger house, a newer car or a better phone.

Then what? The same thing again.

Over and over you repeat this cycle and eventually you die. If you were successful in the consumerist cycle you leave behind a lot of crap for your kids, if you weren’t successful you don’t.

That’s it.

Do You Really Want Fish?

Shopping - Ecstasy by David Blackwell

If you think every shopping experience should feel like this, you’re probably caught in the cycle.

You’re fishing, like Thoreau said, but have you ever actually asked yourself if it’s fish you want?

When you spend your whole day toiling away in a job you may or may not enjoy casting your nets so can have more money, a better TV, or whatever other thing to cram into the nagging sense of lack instilled in you by advertising and society in general is that really what you want?

Some people might say yes and, while I suspect you’re deluded and just haven’t fully considered the alternative, if you want to follow the same cycle of purchasing new things only to work hard the following year to purchase more of the same things then that’s your choice.

Personally, I find that type of life void of any kind of meaning. I find that type of a life terrifying. To think of going to my grave having done nothing but collect successively newer things is repugnant to me in its wastefulness.

Worst in my opinion is it’s difficult to pull people out of this consumerist cycle because in addition to being socially pervasive it’s a really effective psychological drug. Now I’m not insane enough to think this is some kind of conspiracy or anything – it’s just a reflection of a basic human psychological weakness that’s turned out to be awfully profitable. Regardless that makes it all the more difficult to snap people out of it.

Suggestions for a Life Worth Living

I would feel slightly hypocritical denigrating a particular approach at finding happiness in life through possessions as being followed blindly then declaring that the approach to life I espouse is the true way and you should take my word for it.

So I’m not going to tell you my way is best. It works for me and I do intend to share my own suggestions, but I want you sit down and think for yourself about what you really want in life.

At its root one of the reasons the consumerist cycle is so awful is that its accepted blindly when its pushed onto us by society. We’re all brought up being told we need to fish. We’re inundated by media and a societal model that whispers incessantly in our ears that we would be happier if only we had this fish or that fish and so we start fishing, never asking ourselves if we decided we wanted fish or if it was decided for us. WE wind up press ganged into pescetarianism.

So ask yourself if it’s what you really want and, if it isn’t, do something about it.

When I realized that I had the choice I decided that a life spent devoted to material things was not something that brought me real happiness. (Tweet this.)

I feel that overall the worth of a person is tied most strongly not to what they have, or even what they are, but what they can do and have done. Additionally I’ve learned that experiences bring me much more consistent, lasting and fulfilling happiness than things.

That’s led me to pursue experiences, skills and relationships over things. Finally getting that new super high tech TV is something that, as soon as the next, better TV comes out, I will completely forget about. Getting to have meaningful conversations with someone in another country because I took the time to learn to speak a new language is something that will stick with me forever.

Small Steps to Stop Fishing

So what are some things you can do to break out of the cycle?

  • Give Minimalism a Try – Minimalism doesn’t mean getting rid of everything and living like a hermit. It just means closely examining all the things you have and deciding whether they’re genuinely a benefit or a burden. If you want an easy but effective first step, get rid of your TV. We did a while back and I’m extremely happy about it.

  • Invest in Skills and Experiences – A good rule is to always ask, in making this purchase am I investing money in myself or in something else? Am I going to improve personally or develop as a person having done this? It’s not to say every single thing you do has to be focused on personal development, but making it a priority will go a long way. Take a class, practice a new skill, try out a brand new experience, invest in something you’ll actually remember in ten years.

  • Go Travel – Travel is one of the easiest ways to force yourself to go have new experiences, meet new people and expose yourself to new ideas. Don’t make your trip about souvenirs or you run the risk of kind of missing the whole point. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to be wealthy to travel either. Travelling cheap can be easy and it often leads to more experiences, you just have to be creative.

The most important thing is to constantly check up on yourself to ensure you’re doing what you genuinely want to be doing and aren’t pursuing a goal that you unconsciously assimilated from your environment, friends or family.

Do you have any suggestions for escaping the cycle of consumerism? Do you think I’m completely wrong on the whole thing and consumerism isn’t a big deal? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Paul Hocksenar, David Blackwell

Seven Lessons Learned from 80 Days Around The World: The Epic Lives of Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland

Around the World in 80 Days the board game.

It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t read or at least heard of the popular novel, Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne. At the time Verne was one of the most popular authors alive, and the book inspired people to travel and adventure and much debate arose questioning whether or not it was in fact possible to travel around the world in 80 days.

The story of Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland’s competition is an obscure but fascinating tale within which are lessons I think are as amazing as they are important. Which is why I’m sharing with you a brief summary of their story and some of the amazing lessons I’ve learned from it.

Verne’s novel was published in 1873 and in 1888 brave young journalist Nellie Bly pressured her editors to let her test the book’s basis. She was known for her audacity and willingness to put her life on the line to uncover a story – most notably when she faked being insane so she could bring to light the horrors of the Women’s Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell Island. It took her a year to convince her editor, but eventually she was allowed to go. She was 25 years old.

The day she left for her journey the paper she worked for published an article announcing the trip. An editor for a competing paper saw the article on his way into work. Once there he called into his office the timid Elizabeth Bisland, who at the time was only 28 years old, and told her to go pack her things and be on the 6:00 p.m. train to San Francisco. She was instructed to beat Nellie Bly.

Newspaper clipping

Meet the Women

Nellie Bly

Before we tell you their story, let me first give you a bit of a background about these two women so you know what kind of people they were. Nellie Bly, born Elizabeth Jane Cochran, came from a humble family. Her father was a laborer who after years of hard work was able to buy the local mill and most of the land surrounding their home. His lesson of never giving up would stick with Bly for the rest of her life.

Nellie Bly

Unfortunately, her father died while she was still young and money quickly ran out – the family lost all their land and had only her mother to rely on. Her mother did eventually remarry but the man she married was abusive and a drunk; the marriage didn’t last long.

Through watching her mother’s struggles Bly learned that as a woman she couldn’t depend on anyone else – she had to be self-sufficient and strong. Which is why when a misogynistic article was published in the Pittsburgh Dispatch arguing that a woman belonged at home and at home alone, she was understandably upset and wrote a scathing rebuttal under a pseudonym. The editor of the paper liked the article so much he asked her to join the paper. Though he rescinded his offer once he learned that Bly was a female, she persuaded him to hire her anyway. It was a much better job than the work she was doing at the time being a maid. It was common for female journalists to take on a pen name rather than use their real name, and Elizabeth chose Nellie Bly.

Female reporters were a rarity at the time and for the few that were they weren’t allowed to write for anything other than the arts and gossip pages of the newspapers, but Bly was different. She refused – she was audacious and willing to risk her own personal safety to expose evils and mistreatment where ever she found it. Frustrated with the Dispatch for refusing to let her, she eventually talked her way into being a reporter at Joseph Pulitzer’s paper, the New York World. Her first story: pretend to be insane in order to be admitted to the Women’s Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell Island and investigate reports of patient abuse. These were the kinds of stories she loved most.

Elizabeth Bisland

Born on what was once a great sugar cane plantation, Elizabeth Bisland was almost the antithesis of Nellie Bly. A sophisticated, learned writer and poet, Bisland didn’t seek out the limelight but rather enjoyed a quieter existence.

Elizabeth Bisland

The Battle of Fort Bisland was fought on the estate Elizabeth Bisland was born on however the family fled during the war, relocating to a home her father had inherited. Using torn and burnt copies of Cervantes and Shakespeare she had found in her grandfather’s estate, Bisland taught herself first to read. Later, she taught herself French so she could read Rousseau’s Confessions in the original French text.

As a teenager Bisland often sent small works of her poetry to the New Orleans Times Democrat under a pen name, although once discovered she moved to New Orleans to write for the paper. Around 1887 she moved to New York and worked for various newspapers, eventually becoming an editor at Cosmopolitan Magazine.

Bly’s style was unrefined and coarse, while Bisland was more elegant and refined. Bly was also more adventurous and scrappy while Bisland was more interested in books and conversation. The only things they had in common were rough upbringings, an interest in writing and that both women would publish detailed accounts of the trip afterward.

The Challenge

In 1888 after having exposed the cruelty of the Mexican dictator and the horrors of the Women’s Lunatic Asylum, Nellie Bly had become fascinated with Jules Verne’s book Around the World in 80 Days and wanted to see if it were in fact possible to circumvent the Earth in 80 days or less. In modern times you could fly around the world in a plane in a couple days, but back then the most they had were steam ships and trains. She had a plan: she’d begin by catching a steam ship to England and would send back brief reports via a new technology, telegrams, and send longer reports via letter. There was a problem though that stopped her editor from allowing it: She was a woman.

Women shouldn’t go across town unescorted, why on earth should she be allowed to go alone around the world? Only a man could do this! Furthermore, she’s a woman: she’ll need 11 trunks worth of clothes and cosmetics that will slow her down trying to keep track of all those things and carrying them from place to place. These were some of the problems the editors of the New York World had with her trip. But that didn’t deter her – it hadn’t stopped her before and it wouldn’t this time either. But Bly wasn’t about to give up, she told them: send a man and I will go for another paper and I will beat him. They remained firm in their decision

A year later though she got a break. The World faced shrinking circulation and needed something to boost readership – a publicity stunt – and Joseph Pulitzer knew just the thing: Nellie Bly. He gave her a few days notice to pack her things and then she would be out. She left November 14, 1989.

On his way into work, Cosmopolitan Magazine owner and editor John Brisben Walker read the front page story in the World announcing Bly’s trip to see if Phileas Fogg’s fictional record of 80 days was possible and if she could beat it. Immediately, he knew this would be an incredible opportunity for him and his publication to get in on. So once he arrived at the office he called for a young writer to be brought to him – and it had to be a female. Literary editor Elisabeth Bisland – who was unaware of Bly’s trip – was called to his office and they exchanged brief greetings before he got to business: She needed to go home and pack her things and be on the next train to San Francisco because she was going to challenge and beat Nellie Bly around the world.

Bisland refused.

She gave excuses at first – she had dinner guests coming that night, she didn’t have enough time to pack, etc. But eventually he wore her down convinced her to go. Her real reason which she admitted to later was that she was a shy, studious and serious writer and as such she cherished her anonymity and privacy. She didn’t want publicity or celebrity – which she knew this would bring. She knew that this would be a sensational story and wanted no part in it. Bly on the other hand reveled that fact.

Bly had left that morning on a steamship east to England but Bisland’s editor believed it would be faster to travel West and so Bisland went via New York Central Railroad to San Francisco.

In Chicago Bisland talked her way onto a fast mail train headed straight for San Francisco. There was a $750,000 contract riding on that train being the fastest yet, and everyone else on the train was either a mail or railroad official. She was the only woman. In Utah the train stopped and changed engineers, the new one being Cyclone Bill Downing who was known for his lack of fear. A few minutes before 1:00 a.m., the train lead by Cyclone Bill Downing slowly began to move forward – but it wouldn’t last for long. He pushed the train to it’s limits careening up and down mountains, around passes, through tunnels and across long plains.

Derailment was common back then and everyone aboard feared the worst – and their nerves were not eased by the trains violent rocking and roar bouncing off the mountains. From the rear car passengers could see a spray of sparks trailing behind them like fire. Many aboard got seasick from the ride, and those that didn’t got sick from the smell of other’s being sick. One man writhed on the floor in terror and was handed brandy to help calm himself.

Bly didn’t have it any easier – she was on an actual ship for the first time and got seasick for a few days. To further complicate things other passengers had no idea why she was on the ship – especially alone. Rumors began circulating about her being an American heiress traveling to mend a broken heart, causing a number of single men to attempt to court her – several of them even proposing.

She eventually devised a plan to end the attention – she “confided” in another passenger that she wasn’t rich, but that a couple charities had raised money for her to go on a long trip to restore her health. The proposals ceased.

Once in England Bly met with a correspondent for the World that told her if she traveled overnight, didn’t sleep and made a few detours she could meet with Jules Verne at his estate in Amnion, France. She was ecstatic – who cares if she had to spend 48 hours straight awake and on the road? She got to meet an immensely famous author whom she respected and loved! While there, she even got to see the map he used to plot out his character’s journey and one he made of hers. He told her that if he beat the fictional record he’d applaud her. He was very supportive of her, even sending her a telegram when she made it to San Francisco to congratulate her.

The two women sent brief reports back via telegram, which the brilliant Joseph Pulitzer realized he could use for more than just status updates. He sponsored a contest for readers – whoever could guess closest to the second that Nellie Bly would arrive back in New York would win a free trip to Europe. Naturally, contestants had to purchase a paper first since the entry form was inside.

Pulitzer’s marketing scheme worked splendidly – the contest was huge and received nearly a million entries. He was careful to never mention Bisland and keep the focus on Bly. The winning entry was off by 2/5 of a second. Second place was off by 3/5 of a second. The contest and paper launched Bly into becoming one of the most famous women in the world at the time.

On the other hand, Cosmopolitan Magazine did a rather poor job of publicizing the race and brought much less attention to Bisland, which was okay since she didn’t want the attention anyway.

The race was neck-and-neck nearly the entire way. While Bisland knew her mission was to beat Bly, Bly had no idea she was racing against anyone else until she got to Hong Kong – about halfway through. The conversation with a ticket office employee went something like this:

Employee: You’re going to lose the race.

Bly: I don’t think so – I’m ahead of schedule.

Employee: Well, the other woman was here a few days ago and is ahead of you.

Bly: What? What other woman?!

The employee filled Bly in on the rest of the story, which greatly displeased her and made her more determined to go faster. On the ship from Japan to San Francisco Bly used her celebrity to convince the captain to go faster – and he did everything he could to get her there on time.

While the trip had its ups it also had its downs – bad weather, miscommunications, mechanical problems and conspirators slowed them down. In the end, it came down to Nellie Bly coming by train from San Francisco and Elizabeth Bisland by steam ship from Ireland. Either women could have won, and the world anxiously held its breath.

Spoiler Alert: Ultimately, Nellie Bly won. Thanks to a ticket salesman who lied to Bisland about missing one of her intended boats and forced her to catch a much slower ship which guaranteed Bly would prevail. Bly’s end time was 72 days 6 hours and 11 minutes while Bisland’s time was 76 and a half days.

Bly’s victory was celebrated with parades and much publicity – by this time she was more concerned with fame than with uncovering immoral actions and becoming more and more arrogant. She attempted to capitalize on it by going on a lecture circuit but it didn’t bode too well. Later s board game and an amusement park in Brooklyn would be made using her name and journey as their themes, however she didn’t profit from either.

Bisland’s return was much less grand although she was just as much changed. She was greeted by a small crowd of curious people and her sister. She wrote soon after returning that she wanted to live her life in such a way that her name would never again appear in a newspaper. However, she would continue to travel. The trip itself had broadened her outlook and opened her up to the world. She particularly loved Japan and would return many times.

Finally, the Seven Lessons Learned

There’s so much that can be gained from the lives of Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland but I’ll just share a few of the more prominent things that stood out for me.

Screw Social Constraints

Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland were unique – they were doing things during a time when women doing practically anything was frowned upon. While most women were being chaperoned to the store and back, Bly and Bisland were traveling the world alone.

Of course, that wasn’t all they did that was unique. During her early career (teens and early 20s) she would do anything required to expose social injustices – even if that meant going into an abusive insane asylum that she might not get out of (not to mention, many of the people there weren’t actually insane.)

Who cares what other people think of what your doing? Why let other’s opinions – which mean absolutely nothing – have an impact on your happiness? Be yourself, do the things you love, not what others have told you to do or love. Be different, and be proud. By doing this, you’ll encourage others to follow suit and do the things they love.

Things aren’t perfect, but everyone – male and female, and of all races – does have it a lot better than things were in the 1800s. If they could do amazing things then, you can do amazing things now. The only limits you have are the ones you set.

Take Risks

None of the things that happened in this story would have been possible if Bly and Bisland hadn’t taken risks. To me it seems that Bly threw all caution to the wind – she knew things would work out in the end if she was persistent.

Bisland wasn’t really one to attract attention to herself or go outside social norms, but yet she took those risks anyway – just in a very cautious way.

Bly took huge risks every time she did an investigative piece – she almost didn’t make it out of the asylum – but her risks paid off every time. People thought she was crazy for doing what she did but because of her life got better for a great number of people, and she even changed government policy to help protect people from abuses like the asylum.

The trip around the world was a huge risk for both women – not only was it dangerous for them to go alone, but if something did happen to them there would have been almost no way to know. There were no cell phones, GPS or cameras and investigative technology and practices were dubious – especially in the less developed countries they went to. But the trip was worth it. Both women learned so much from this trip, and society in general learned more about the world and grew more accepting of the idea of women being capable and able to handle themselves.

Whichever way suits you, you should take risks. Great or small, if you want something you need to be willing to take risks to get it. Maybe changing the world isn’t your thing – it doesn’t matter, even to get something selfish that you want (which is not necessarily a bad thing) there will be some risks involved. It may not be easy – but nobody said it would be. Of course risks have potential downsides, but whether or not you succeed you’ll come out ahead. If you fail, learn from it so you can try again in the future and hopefully then succeed. Take risks, learn from your failures and live without regrets.

You’ve only got one life, don’t waste it living someone else’s.

Travel!

Whether or not travel is something you are interested it, it’s something I highly recommend you do anyway. It’s not always visible at first but travel will change you.

It’s impossible to tell beforehand the exact ways that travel will affect you – it’s different for everyone. The only thing I can guarantee that it’ll do is change how you look at the world and give you a broader perspective than you could have imagined previously.

Furthermore, the world just isn’t scary – you have no excuse not to travel! If two women can muster up the courage to travel during a time when women couldn’t even go outside without a male escort, you can too.

Learning a Language isn’t Necessary for Travel

Bly didn’t speak a word of any language other than English, and while Bisland did speak some others she certainly didn’t speak the language of every country she went to, yet they got by. Things are even easier nowadays and so you can make it in nearly every country without using any language other than English.

There are certainly benefits of learning the language of the place you are going to, but if you aren’t going to stay for long or are only there to do touristy-type activities, then learning is not necessary.

You Have No Excuses NOT to Learn

You may not need to learn another language but if you want to, you really don’t have any excuses not to. Think about it, if Bisland could teach herself French in the 1800s from tattered books then YOU can learn ANY language NOW thanks to the INTERNET!

It’s not an easy task, but learning another language has gotten significantly easier thanks to the sheer amount of resources you have available to you right now for free. There are ways to get around money issues, if you really want it you will make or find time and with some strategic habit-building you can make yourself stick to it. The tools are all at your fingers – if Bisland could do it you can too.

Embrace Minimalism for a Simpler, Hassle-Free Life

Do you really need all those things? Really? Bly most famously only traveled with a single bag that she could carry with her – currently with The Smithsonian – containing only the absolute most essential items.

Going with only the clothes on your back may be a bit too extreme for some, but it should make you consider what are the absolute essentials – what could you live without on this trip? Do you really need multiple pairs of shoes, tons of clothes, or a bunch of electronics? What exactly do you want to do with your time there? Unless you intend on spending your time on your computer or with your nose in a book, skip those sorts of things. Take only a couple of your most versatile clothes (that can be dressed up or down) and only buy clothes at your destination if you need them. When you’re done you can donate, resell or give them to someone else.

What you pack should be indicative of what you will be doing, so unless you plan on spending a lot of time in your hotel, leave all the extras at home.

You are Limitless

When you consider the time period, the limited resources and social constraints that bound Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland, what they managed to accomplish is incredible. The vast amount of resources, knowledge and overall freedom that we enjoy now gives everyone the opportunity to do amazing things.

Pretty much anything you want to do, you can do so long as you apply yourself and stick to it.

So what’s holding you back from pursuing your goals? What did you gain from Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland’s competition?

Why You Need to Go Out And Fail

Sad by Kate Alexanderson

If you never even try you’re worse than a failure.

I used to have a serious confidence problem.

It shouldn’t really be surprising, I was fat and awkward and nerdy and shy. Alone those attributes tend to not contribute to being bold and self-confident, combined they made for the perfect cocktail of personality traits to absolutely destroy any chance of committing myself to anything.

As a result of that, there were tons of opportunities I missed out on my whole life because I was too scared to fail.

Honestly there are too many to count, but one that comes to mind from when I was really young is Space Camp.

Remember Space Camp? If you grew up in the early 90s and watched TV at all you ought to. As a kid it looked amazing. You got to fly off to this camp to do incredible astronaut stuff and go through all this learning and training. It was like nerdy Disneyland.

I begged my parents to go, but it was really expensive. After a while though they gave in and said if I really wanted to go, they’d save up a bit and send me that next summer. I was ecstatic at first – I’d finally get to go after what was probably months of begging – after a few days though I started to worry.

I’d be surrounded by new people in a completely unfamiliar place thousands of miles from home. What if I did something stupid in front of everyone? What if no one there liked me? What if the training was too hard or the people running the camp were mean?

The day after I realized all that and freaked out I told my parents I’d changed my mind. I didn’t need to go to Space Camp anymore, they shouldn’t bother saving for it. I can’t remember the excuse I made up to explain away their confusion over my sudden 180, but I couldn’t admit to them that I was too much of a coward to even try.

More Despicable Than Failure

Thankfully I’ve gotten over those issues since becoming an adult, but I’ll always regret all the opportunities I let pass by because I was scared of being a failure. The most frustrating part of it is, I was much worse than a failure.

That idea might be a bit strange at first. There’s such an enormous amount of negative stigma attached to the concept of failure that some people consider it to be the very worst thing, or at least consider being a failure the worst thing you can be.

As bad as failure might seem to you, never even trying is far worse.

You can learn from failure. You can’t learn from never doing anything. On top of that when you try seriously, really commit yourself, and still fail then not only do you grow from the experience but that failure will generally come from some factor outside of your control.

In other words if you try your hardest and fail, the blame for the failure (if there even should be any) really shouldn’t fall on you. If you never try you’ve already failed and you’ve failed for a reason that was completely and entirely under your control and of your own volition. It’s your own damn fault.

When ‘I Tried’ Is Bullshit

Not everyone is so brazenly cowardly as I was in my youth. Some people are just as terrified of trying as I was, but are too embarrassed or scared to admit it so they pretend to try.

Imagine someone who wants to be a published author. They have some ideas and they write a couple short stories and maybe even a full novel. They send them all out to a handful of agents or publishers and they all get turned down.

The ‘aspiring author’ says something to the effect of, “Well, I tried. I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” and promptly abandons their path toward author-dom. In my book this basically amounts to mental masturbation – you tell yourself you did the best you could and it feels good that you ‘tried’ and you get a little boost of self-satisfaction and move on.

You feel like you’ve accomplished something when in reality you’re just giving yourself a convenient excuse to give in to your fears while saving face and not looking like a coward to others or, possibly even worse, yourself.

Nine times out of ten, the phrase ‘I tried’ is bullshit.

People who’ve genuinely earned the title of failure, people who have committed themselves fully but couldn’t make it, almost never say ‘I tried’. The reason for that is that ‘I tried’ is what people say when they give up.

When people who commit themselves fully, who really try, fail at something they don’t quit. They learn from that failure and try again.

Why People Choose to Be Worse Than Failures

I’ve found in all the examples I’ve come across of people giving up before they’ve started or half-assing things so they can feel good and say they tried the motivations for such behavior boil down into two categories – fear and laziness.

In my opinion fear is the more common one, though I’ll admit it may just be easier to recognize because it preyed on me for the better part of my life. This can be fear of consequences (not asking out someone you like because they might reject you), fear of uncertainty (not changing careers to one you think you’ll enjoy more) or fear of some other aspect – the uniting thread is that there’s something that scares you and it’s easier just to avoid it.

When it comes to laziness it’s usually tied to a sense of complacency – things are just fine the way they are so why commit to something that’s going to shake everything up? This can also be expressed via a sense of defeatism. If you say to yourself, “Why bother? I’m not going to be able to do it anyway,” then you might as well be honest with yourself and admit you’re just too lazy.

Seeking the Epic Fail

So you recognize some of these things in yourself, maybe in an opportunity you passed up you wish you’d taken or maybe in an endeavor you took a dive on in order to say that you at least tried. Now that you know it’s a problem, what do you do about it?

Learn to chase after the huge, epic failures.

It sounds strange at first, seeing as how we should be chasing success rather than failures, but chasing success is what everyone else does and when you don’t get it encourages you to be depressed and discouraged and quit. Given that we’ve established you’re a quitter, that’s just not going to work.

People who have earned success did it by first earning hundreds and thousands of failures. Sure statistics dictates you’re going to have a few lottery winners, but you shouldn’t base your actions on the anomalies. When you look at the stories of people who have made it starts sounding a bit repetitive after a while. They all fail, adjust, fail some more, keep adjusting and don’t quit until they’ve got it figured out.

If you think Angry Birds was Rovio‘s first game, you are likely extremely deluded as to how the world actually works.

Instead re-frame your approach so you get into things totally expecting some manner of enormous failure. Not in the sense of pretending to try and setting yourself up for failure, but in the sense of going all in knowing that if you fail you’ll have earned that failure and you’ll learn from it.

Understand that when you’ve really thrown everything you have into something failure is a wonderful thing. It’s a badge of honor. It’s something you should be proud of.

When you start to back out of something before you’ve started stop what you’re doing and devote yourself to going all in and failing. When your subconscious says, “Don’t do that, what if it doesn’t work out? What if we fail?” Slap your subconscious across its incorporeal face and shout, “Fuck that. I’m going to go out and fail like a hero. I’m going to earn that failure, and like slain foes I will pile those failures against the wall between me and success until I can march right over and take what I’ve earned.”

Then go forth and be incredible.

Do you have a trick for getting over your fear of even beginning? What are some things you regret never doing because you were too scared to commit? Share them with us in the comments!

Photo Credit: Kate Alexanderson

Want to Be Incredible? Break Your Kettles and Burn Your Boats

Boat Burning On The Water by Peewubblewoo

You have to make sacrifices to get what you want.

Timid people don’t make history.

Timid people back down when they’re faced with a challenge. Successful people are the bold ones, the ones who go all in and understand that the only two ways to truly be defeated are to quit or to die.

Xiang Yu knew this was true as early as 208 B.C. When his small army crossed the Yellow River to reinforce Julu (an area that’s now the city of Xingtai in Heibei province) he found his 50,000 men faced by a Qin army of 400,000 soldiers. Knowing that his men would have to fight their hardest to defeat an army that outnumbered them so badly he ordered them to save three days worth of food, destroy their kettles and cooking utensils and sink the boats they’d used to cross the river.

That meant there was no retreat, and next to no food. Xiang Yu’s army had two choices, defeat the Qin army before their food ran out and take their supplies or starve.

Xiang Yu’s army did just that – a feat leading to the old Chinese saying ‘破釜沉舟’ meaning ‘Break your kettle and burn your boat’. In other words to remove your option of backing down and forcing yourself to go all in past the point of no return.

Are You Willing to Burn Your Boats?

If you want to be more than just ordinary (which, if you don’t, you’re reading the wrong site and you need to leave now) then at some point you’re going to have to learn to burn your boats. That means choosing to go all in on whatever it is you’re doing – really committing to it fully.

When you choose not to commit fully to something that is genuinely important to you then you’re already setting yourself up for a fate worse than failure – never really trying to begin with.

People who live incredible lives, people who are happy and genuinely have a positive overall impact on the world, people who live in such a way that others find them naturally fascinating, they don’t half-ass things.

They focus and work hard on it.

They sacrifice for it.

They’re willing to take serious risks in order to force themselves into serious opportunities.

If you also want to lead an incredible, book-worthy life then you need to look at the things you’re doing now and ask yourself, “Am I fully committed to this? Am I willing to potentially give up everything in order to succeed or does that sound too hard?”

This applies to everything from language learning to fitness to entrepreneurship and finding truly fulfilling work.

Are you willing to skip TV time and go a month without video games in order to spend that time chatting with language partners, practicing words on Memrise and writing passages in your target language to get corrected by natives? Why not?

Are you capable of not eating the crap you usually eat, exercising your self-control when it’s the most difficult to do so and putting in the hours of sweat and toil in the weight room?

Are you bold enough to quit the secure job that you despise in order to have enough time to find out if your dream business can actually succeed, even if there’s zero guarantees that it will?

Break your kettle and burn your boat.

If you’re always too scared or lazy to go all in, you’ll never be more than ordinary.

Have you gone all in and fully committed yourself to an endeavor? Share it with us in the comments and how it worked out for you.

Photo Credit: Paul Woods

3 Reasons You Should Wake Up Early and How to Actually Do It

Good Morning by Frank Wuestefeld

Seeing the Sun rise is just one of the perks of waking up early.

I have never in my life been an early riser.

In fact I was quite the opposite – a quintessential night owl who was more likely to be heading to bed when most others would be waking up. On top of that when you did finally wake me up I was generally grumpy, malicious and horrible to be around. For the first few hours I’d shuffle around filled with hate for everything until I woke up all the way.

That is until recently, when I finally made the transition to being able to wake up early and actually feel happy and energized.

Now I love waking up early. So what are the benefits to getting up early instead of sleeping in late?

Reasons to Wake Early

  • Increased Productivity – Waking up early allows for you to get substantially more done, both in that it affords you a lot of additional productive time and in that it gives you the time each morning to plan out the remainder of your day in such a way as to be as productive as possible. I know I can get more done in the morning between when I wake up and when I head into the gym to train clients than many people get done in their entire day – and I get my to-do list in order and my most important tasks for the day selected so that productivity echoes throughout the remainder of my day.

    Now, it may not seem like it would really allow you to be that much more productive since you aren’t really gaining any additional time. You still need as much sleep, so part of waking up earlier is going to sleep earlier. Your number of waking hours really shouldn’t change. So if we aren’t gaining more time, aren’t we just changing when we’re productive from later to earlier? How does that translate to more productivity?

    The trick is in the timing of things. Productivity is a lot like boiling water – it takes a lot more energy to start the water boiling than it does to keep it boiling. In other words, the toughest part about being productive is the very start of being productive. Taking care of that earlier in the morning lays the foundation for you to coast on that momentum the rest of the day. On top of that, it’s a lot easier to get distracted or run out of steam in the evening and just say, “Screw it I’ll do it tomorrow.”

    Just like how you should take care of your most important tasks for the day first to ensure you get them done, you should focus on being productive first so that you guarantee you get what you need to do done.

  • Less Stress – One of the biggest benefits I’ve noticed is that I no longer spend the majority of my mornings stressed to my limit and on the verge of murdering someone. It used to be I’d roll out of bed filled with hate with barely enough time to get ready and into work. I’d shuffle in clearly having just rolled out of bed four or five minutes late in the mood to tear the head off anyone who gave me a good excuse. If I’d ran out the door without time to finish my coffee, it was even worse.

    Essentially, I started out every morning stressed and annoyed. Can you imagine the kind of effect that had on the rest of my day?

    Not only did that mood ripple through the rest of everything I did that day but it meant by the time I was home after work I just felt wrecked. I had gone through such a stressful morning each day that I didn’t want to do anything in the evening but relax – not exactly conducive to getting anything important done. Add to that the cortisol and all the other physiological effects of all that stress and you have a recipe for a lot of compounding problems.

    Getting up early means I have plenty of time to have a cup of coffee (or too) get ready at my leisure and get some things done. I even have some time to do things I enjoy before I head in to work, like reading, meditating and exercise. That means when I do arrive at work in the morning I get there early and in a bright, cheerful mood that would’ve made the former me want to punch the current me in the teeth.

    Much like being stressed out and angry set the tone for the rest of my day previously, being in a good mood tends to carry me throughout the rest of the day making each day fun and productive.

  • Serenity – Just like your mood in the previous section impacts the remainder of your day in a strong way, your environment at the start of your day can set tones that will stay with you, if not for the rest of the day then for a substantial part of it. Starting your day peacefully in the calm of the early morning quiet sets you up for a much more relaxed day than leaping out of bed and dashing to the car with mismatched socks on and burnt toast jammed in your mouth.

    At the risk of waxing poetic there’s a serene, meditative quality to the time before the majority of the world has woken that is unique. Going for a walk in the near silence of dawn as you watch the Sun rise is an amazing and incomparable experience and, even if for some reason it doesn’t contribute to making your day better, it will contribute to making your life better.

How to Actually Wake Up Early

Learning to wake up early can be a bit difficult. I certainly didn’t have an easy time of it – it was a huge struggle and something that I’m still a little surprised I pulled off. If I can do it though, anyone can. Here are the biggest things that I found to be instrumental in making the switch from night owl to early bird.

  • Moving the Alarm Clock – I have a severely unhealthy obsession with the snooze button. If I can, I will always snooze. It is a tragic flaw of mine. As a result of that I find the snooze button to be one of the most damnable inventions ever to plague mankind and I sincerely hope whomever invented it was set on fire and torn apart by alligators.

    The snooze button serves no purpose but to ruin your day with false promises. Like some sinister drug pusher it snares you at your most vulnerable by tempting you with more sleep at a time when your dream addled brain is most likely to be craving just that. It promises to quiet that shrieking alarm clock and allow you a bit more sleep. It never seems that bad either – just five more minutes. That’s all. It won’t hurt.

    But it’s never just five more minutes, is it? Five turns into ten, then twenty, then thirty, and before you know it you realize you needed to be showered, fed and out the door ten minutes ago and your whole morning is screwed. The worst part? You’re not going to feel more rested after 5 more minutes of sleep. No one ever woke up feeling crappy, hit snooze and shut their eyes for five minutes, then reopened them feeling rested and energized. The snooze button tempts you at your weakest with a siren song of false promises that it can’t even deliver on and then ruins your whole day.

    So how do you resist the sinister silver-tongued snooze button? One way is to put your alarm clock as far from you as you possibly can without reducing its effectiveness in waking you up. That forces you to get up out of bed to turn it off, and once you’re up and moving around the temptation of five more minutes of sweet slumber is much easier to resist. If you find that’s not enough, or for some reason your situation makes it impossible to get your alarm far enough away to force you out of bed, make it a rule that you must leave the bedroom for something immediately after shutting off the alarm.

    This can be to get a glass of water, use the restroom, do some jumping jacks, whatever – the point is to get you away from your bed long enough to escape the mental fog present that clings to you following your escape from dreamland. Once that’s been dealt with you’ll find it much easier to resist the urge to return to bed and you can get on with your day.

  • Get to Sleep On Time – If you’re trying to get up at 5 a.m. you’re going to have a much, much harder time of it if you’re going to sleep at 1 a.m. than if you’re asleep by 10 p.m.

    Waking up early isn’t about reducing the total number of hours you’re sleeping. Not getting enough sleep will cause a ton of health problems. I can’t overstate how much you need 7 to 8 hours of sleep. With that being the case if you’re going to push your waking time to earlier then you need to push your sleeping time to earlier too.

    If you’re having trouble getting to sleep on time there are a handful of things you can do. The first is to limit your expose to electronics and media long enough before bedtime to allow your mind to wind down. You should also begin limiting your exposure to light about an hour or so before you want to go to sleep in order to encourage your body to begin producing melatonin.

    Reading before bed is a good option as a way to wind down a bit, but I would recommend reading on a physical book if you can. Now, we’ve pretty much gotten rid of all our books, so if you have to I recommend at least reading in the dark with the brightness on your device turned low enough so as to not be too hard on your eyes.

    Exercise in general will help you get to sleep easier as well, though some people have issues with exercising before bed. Some people it winds down, other people it keys up – figure out which one you are before committing to lots of exercise right before bed.

  • Do Things Gradually – Don’t try to go from waking up at 8 a.m. to waking up at 6 a.m. in one go. That’s too much of a change to throw on yourself all at once. You may do it once or twice but in the end you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’re just going to get discouraged when you eventually fail and then give up.

    Instead, make the change as gradual as possible. Wake up five or ten minutes earlier each day, or each couple days even if it’s a bit harder to adjust, until you get down to the time you want to be waking up at. Each successive success at waking up on time will make you feel a little more confident that you can do it and before long you’ll be at your goal.

    The change each time doesn’t have to be drastic. The point here is to go slow, so don’t push it and just let yourself adjust each time before you make the next small jump earlier a bit.

Have you tried any of these strategies to help yourself wake up earlier? Do you actually enjoy waking up earlier? Why? Let us know in the comments!

Photo Credit: Frank Wuestefeld

The Basics of Mindfulness & Moving Meditation

A Crossroads by Ornoth

Mindfulness may have links to Buddhism, but there’s really nothing ‘spiritual’ about it.

Mindfulness has been becoming a bit of a ‘thing’ over the last few years and I think in many ways is becoming one of the next new buzzwords.

I’m conflicted in how I feel about this – on one hand I think mindfulness applied properly is an extremely useful tool in improving people’s lives and is genuinely something I feel everyone should practice, on the other hand I’m concerned about the corruptive process of becoming a fad.

Given the new interest in it, I thought this was as good a time as ever to explore the basics of mindfulness and introduce one of my absolute favorite techniques for cultivating it – moving meditation.

What is ‘Mindfulness’?

Mindfulness, put simply, is a complete and nonjudgmental awareness of your experiences occurring in the moment.

There are at least two key parts to this. We’ll start with the end and work our way back. Mindfulness occurs in the moment. That means that when you’re being mindful you aren’t thinking about things in the past or the future. In fact, true mindfulness means not even recognizing at the time that the past or the future even exist.

This is probably the hardest part for most people to master – the majority of people dwell heavily on the past (regrets, nostalgia, & what-ifs), on the future (hopes, worries, goals & fears) or both that existing completely in the present is a big change. This isn’t to say thinking about the past and the future is inherently destructive, just that most people take it to the extreme.

It is important to learn from your mistakes, but once you’ve learned from them you need to let them go – not chain yourself to regret over something that is long gone and beyond your control. Similarly it is important to plan for the future and to anticipate problems that may lie ahead, but once you’ve planned for them continuing to worry or fear things that haven’t yet and may never happen only wastes your time and makes you miserable.

Regardless to be truly mindful is to recognize that that neither the past, which is gone forever, nor the future, which may never come at all, don’t really exist for you – only the moment you are occupying right now.

The second key part is a complete and nonjudgmental awareness of your experiences. That means not only being completely aware of as much as is occurring to and around you, but also not making any kind of judgement of that experience – simply acknowledging it as it is.

This is not as easy as it sounds either, particularly since we are fairly well wired to make some kind of value judgement of every single experience we have. From an evolutionary perspective this makes a lot of sense, we tend to immediately categorize things at the very least into positive/pleasant or negative/unpleasant stimuli.

Mindfulness lets go of this instinct to judge. When practicing mindfulness you aim to be aware of as much as humanly possible occurring around and within you, but to not categorize anything as positive or negative. When mindful you become aware of something, acknowledge it and move on.

In many ways this makes mindfulness very similar to standard meditation. The main difference being that in standard meditation you want to acknowledge thoughts and feelings then dismiss them until your mind is empty – when practicing mindfulness you want to do the same except to hang on to the thoughts about what’s occurring in the moment and to dismiss thoughts of the past, future, or those straying from what’s around and within you.

The very best example in my opinion of someone who is completely in a state of mindfulness is a pro athlete who is in ‘the zone’. Being ‘in the zone’ or in a state of Mushin means that the person’s mind is not thinking about the past, or the future – they’re really not even thinking too hard about what’s going on around them- they’re simply aware of it and their actions flow freely as a response to stimulus with no decisions or judgment going on.

Imagine a professional boxer in a fight. She isn’t thinking about her next career move, she isn’t wondering if she picked the right coach, and when she sees a punch coming she doesn’t deliberate what would be the best thing to do or think, “Oh man, that’s a good hit, didn’t see that coming,” – the punch comes and she moves. Instantly. Instinctively. There is no decision to move, it just happens. She doesn’t think about striking back, her fist moves of its own will.

That is an expression of mindfulness.

Why Practice Mindfulness

You might be saying to yourself, “Ok, that’s cool and all, but why should I care? This mindfulness stuff seems really hard.”

It Lowers Stress – Practicing mindfulness (and meditation in general, actually) helps reduce stress in a handful of ways. The first is that the clarity of thought existing in the present moment brings helps you think through the things that would normally stress you out and let them go. On top of that, mindfulness practice actually helps you perform better at everything you do – when you aren’t distracted by everything else and can focus on each task as it comes it’s a lot easier to give 100% on each one.

Being able to perform better means less worries, failures and problems to stress you out. On top of all that, you don’t just feel less stressed – mindfulness practice reduces cortisol levels meaning you’re less chemically stressed too. Your hormones, particularly cortisol, can make or break your efforts to change your body composition.

It Rewires Your Brain – In a study by the University of Oregon researchers found that mindfulness practice actually resulted in physical changes in the brain. Not only was axonal density improved meaning there were more signaling connections formed in participants’ brains, but also increased development of myelin sheaths around the axons in certain brain regions.

What does that mean in plain English? It means mindfulness practice physically changes your brain to work more efficiently and be better protected from mental illnesses such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. You think better, more clearly and are at a significantly reduced risk for illness – sounds worth it to me.

It Improves Sleep – How many times have you been stuck tossing and turning because you just can’t shut off your brain? That kind of insomnia can shave more than a few hours off your total sleeping time, which adds up to a lot. In one study as little as two fewer hours of sleep in a night led to an average of a 20% reduction in a maximal bench press test. It also pushes your cortisol up and causes havoc with the rest of your hormones making it extremely difficult to put on muscle, lose fat and recover from exercise. Sleep deprivation is also linked to depression, reduced immune function and lots of other unpleasant things.

Sleep is really important.

Mindfulness training teaches you to master your thoughts and where your attention focuses. Combine that with the reduced stress levels and that means no more monkey mind and a much, much easier time slipping off to sleep when you actually want to.

It Increases Mental Control – The journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience reports that mindfulness training actively increases your conscious control over your mind’s cortical alpha rhythms. The reason this is important is that your alpha rhythms are largely responsible for determining what it is you’re paying attention to.

Increased control over your alpha rhythms means practicing mindfulness brings a heightened ability to ignore or tolerate pain, control emotions and make more rational decisions. It also helps serve as the ‘off switch’ to dismiss any thoughts that might be worrying you, keeping you up at night or making you depressed.

How to Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is simultaneously easy and difficult. It accomplishes this contradiction by being an extremely simple process that anyone can learn that is so contrary to the standard mindset that almost no one ever actually does it.

Mindfulness can be practiced in a variety of ways. The first that most people think of is zazen, or seated meditation. If you’re a complete beginner to meditation then zazen may be a good place to start if you want to be a bit more traditional or just think it looks cool to sit on a pillow in the middle of a room and burn incense.

Another option though that I honestly find to be a much better expression of applied mindfulness is moving meditation.

Moving meditation, also sometimes called active meditation, entails entering a state of mindfulness while engaged in an action. That means being fully engaged in the present moment with a complete and nonjudgmental awareness of what you’re experiencing as it pertains to the action you’re taking. It means being deliberate and purposeful in everything you’re doing.

A good mental image is to picture a tai chi master flowing through a set of forms or a yogi going through a set of asanas. They aren’t thinking about something that happened yesterday or worrying about what they’re going to do tomorrow, their thoughts are focused entirely on the precision of their actions, the smoothness of their movements, the reaction of their bodies and the tempo of their breathing. They are fully and totally engaged in that single action in that single moment.

The reason this is so difficult for a lot of people is it’s the direct opposite of what I consider to be a standard of distracted half-assery prevalent in modern culture. We multi-task as a rule, we’re constantly distracted by our phones, checking social media, planning for tomorrow, thinking about a thousand other things that we’re rarely completely focused on the thing we’re actually doing.

An easy introduction to active meditation is to practice a little mindfulness with your next meal. This is most easily done when eating alone, you can certainly do it while carrying on a conversation but it will add a bit more difficulty.

Sit down with your meal, with no other distractions, and really focus on eating that food. Do not turn on the TV. Do not touch your phone. Experience your meal. Take the time to smell it, to pick out the different scents of the ingredients. Chew slowly and deliberately. Pay attention to each of the separate flavors and how they combine and contrast with each other. How does it feel to chew it? What’s the temperature of the food like? What are you hearing around you? You get the picture.

In essence, savor your damn meal.

You’ll find that this attention to the task at hand, being fully present in the moment, really enhances your experience of the meal. Even if that meal is cold McDonald’s take out in a back alley.

Once you’ve mastered this process with meals – which I find to be the best way to start for most people – extend that same frame of mind to other tasks. Even if it’s something as mundane as walking out to the car to go to work, be all in about it. Are you stomping out or dragging your feet? How much noise do your footsteps make? How do you feel at that moment? What do you see, and smell and hear?

This type of mindfulness practice can be applied to any action, or even every action throughout your whole day. It makes everything you do feel deliberate and purposeful and, through reflection and refinement, eventually it will make every action better.

Do you practice mindfulness? Have you tried any types of meditation, active or otherwise? What’s been the biggest challenge for you in becoming more mindful? Share it with us in the comments! We love hearing from everyone.

Photo Credit: Ornoth

What’s English Prime and Why Does it Matter?

Optimus Prime by El Dave

No, E Prime doesn’t have anything to do with Transformers.

English Prime, or E Prime, is a constructed variant of standard English developed in the 60s in order to provide a form of English that reduced or eliminated any difficulty of the listener or reader to distinguish between fact and opinion and make the biases of the writer or speaker more evident.

Like most languages created for the purpose of promoting sweeping social and cultural good (cough, Esperanto, cough) it never really took off beyond a small group of hardcore devotees.

While it’s merits as a clearer form of English are debatable, the premise behind it and the form of it can actually teach us a lot about the way we perceive things in the world and help us be more mindful in our thinking.

How Does E Prime Work?

In it’s essence, E Prime works by eliminating all forms of the verb ‘to be’ in English. The idea behind this is that by removing the copula it removes a speakers ability to make value statements about a thing or event as if they were objective facts.

In general, people do tend to abuse the use of ‘to be’ in English. This does cause some faulty reasoning from time to time, so the premise at least has some merit in that regard.

Take for example the assertion, “That movie was good”. We can’t use ‘was’ in E Prime since it’s a form of ‘to be’, so you have to reword that sentence as “I enjoyed that movie,” “That movie made me laugh”, etc. This changes the structure in such a way that you are no longer describing the movie itself but instead are describing your own experience of the movie. It makes clear that you are making a subjective value statement rather than an objective one.

Now I don’t think everyone should actually start speaking like this – there are too many linguistic issues with it in my opinion to make it viable large scale – but I do think we can learn a lot about how we approach things by the way it works.

E Prime and Mindfulness

Even if it isn’t valuable as an actual means of communication E Prime is valuable as a tool for reflection on mindfulness and the way we think about things.

First of all it helps us notice that many times things expressed as absolute facts are really opinions. When you remove the absoluteness of the copula it reveals the fact that everything we express is a reflection of our own experience.

When someone says, “That’s a bad idea,” they may really mean “I dislike that idea,” “That idea won’t work,” or another similar sentiment. Rather than just dismiss it as ‘bad’ they have to elaborate at least a little bit to explain what their problem is. When people make a hard assertion like “[blank] is [blank]” that assertion should always be understood as being colored in some way by their subjective experience.

If you say something like “Earth is the center of the universe,” E Prime makes it clear that what you really mean is “Earth appears to be the center of the universe.” This exposes more clearly that you’re just relating the experience of a fallible observer and not making an absolute, infallible statement.

That’s not to say you can’t make statements like that in E Prime. “The Sun orbits the Earth,” is a good example of an authoritative sounding E Prime compliant sentence that doesn’t really reveal that it is colored by the perceptions of an observer.

That’s fine. The point is really just to recognize that whenever people express a value statement or report actions they are always heavily colored by their own subjectivity.

The reason this is important for increasing our mindfulness is that it reminds us constantly that when you’re talking to people the things they discuss are always filtered through the subjective lens of their world view. Being aware of this in the moment helps us make better judgments based on the reports of others and helps us better understand the thoughts and motivations of those around us.

Similarly it reminds us of our own subjectivity and fallibility in the statements we make. It discourages us from making hard, absolutist statements about things as we recognize that we can only report our own experience. This understanding makes it much easier for us to be open to changing our views on things which is an important part of growing as a person.

If you only think of your statements and opinions in terms of absolutes, it makes them harder to change. Someone who says, “He’s wrong,” is less likely to reconsider than the person who says, “I don’t agree with that.” The second person, in some small way at least, recognizes that their own thinking may be incorrect.

Now a quick note on subjectivity – it’s important to understand that people’s statements are influenced by their own subjective experience, but there are still things that are objectively true. I don’t buy the whole “That’s your Truth but not my Truth,” idea. However, if you think I’m wrong and that there’s no such thing as objective truth, I encourage you to decide gravity is no longer part of your subjective truth and then to step out of a second story window.

E Prime, while not really useful as a communication tool in my opinion, can help us be more mindful about our own thinking and the thinking of others by reminding us that everyone’s statements pass through the filter of their own experience before being expressed into the world. Are there any other lessons you’ve learned from the way E Prime works? Have you actually tried using E Prime on a day to day basis? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Photo Credit: ElDave

How to Develop Ron Swanson Confidence

ron fucking swanson

Were you born ready?

Note: This is a post about Ron Swanson. That means there’s a good chance there’s going to be a lot of fucking curse words. Hey, there’s one now. If that sort of thing bothers you, you might want to stop reading at this point and come back for the next post. Thanks!

Ron Swanson is confident.

The extreme way he exudes confidence is one of the biggest reasons Ron Swanson has become one of the biggest characters on Parks & Recreation – complete with his own cult following, tumblers consisting entirely of his quotes and a site dedicated solely to his mustache.

So how can we develop that kind of rock solid self-confidence without having to work our way all the way up the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness? Let’s take a look.

Ron Fucking Swanson

It’s a recurring theme through the show that whenever people question Ron Swanson’s ability to do something he reminds them – he’s Ron Fucking Swanson. Here’s a clip from early in the show as an example:

While this is more of a reflection of his confidence than a source of it, it’s something I think it’s good to focus on. That attitude that no matter what, you’re great. You can handle it. You’re not just John Doe – you’re John Fucking Doe. Or Jane. Or whatever, plug your own name in.

Now, while I normally think self-assertions and affirmations and things are kind of silly (though doggone it, people do like me), this is one example where I really think people can get a lot of benefit from remind themselves of how great they are. Particularly if you don’t think you’re a very confident person take some time each morning to look yourself in the mirror each morning and psych up a little. Remind yourself that you’re [Insert] Fucking [Name Here]

In fact say it now. Out loud. I’ll wait.

I don’t care if you’re reading this at work or on your phone in public or something, say it out loud. Ron Fucking Swanson wouldn’t give a damn if other people thought he was talking to himself. You know why?

Because he’s Ron Fucking Swanson.

Greatness Itself: The Best Revenge

One of the blocks of Ron Swanson’s Pyramid of Greatness is Greatness Itself, which Ron considers to be the best revenge. Not only do I agree completely, but I also think embracing that concept is an excellent way to fire up your self-confidence.

When you’re feeling unconfident and unmotivated think about all the people who’ve wronged you in the past. Think of all the people who have doubted you. The people who didn’t think you’d amount to anything. The people who treated you like crap. Picture all of those people in your mind.

Do you think Ron Fucking Swanson would let those people be right?

No. He’s Ron Fucking Swanson.

Ron Fucking Swanson would go out and do something incredible. Something fantastic. He would succeed so much that everyone who ever doubted him would never speak again at the shame of being so horrendously wrong.

You should feel the same way.

When you think of all those people who have wronged you, talked bad about you, thought you’d never amount to anything – get fired up and then go out and be epic! You don’t have to do anything world changing (though you’re always welcome to try), you just have to tackle every day with the mindset that you’re going to do everything you do as best as you can and you’re going to crush it. You have to go out determined to do everything with so much greatness that when you’re done strangers will ask, “Who was that?” and people in the know will reply in hushed, reverent tones,

“That was [Insert Your] Fucking [Name].”

“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”

Ron Fucking Swanson does things right, and so should you. He doesn’t just try to do something, he puts everything he’s got into it and accomplishes it no matter what. That’s how you should feel about building up your confidence.

Don’t just try to be more confident.

Don’t half-ass it.

You don’t stop until you feel like you could accomplish anything you wanted to. Then, you go out and actually accomplish everything you want to. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Keep going until you’ve done what you set out to do. Ron Fucking Swanson isn’t a quitter – and neither are you.

These tactics won’t make you Ron Fucking Swanson confident overnight, but they’ll help slowly and gradually.

Just stick with it. Like carving a perfect canoe out of a solid mahogany trunk with a pocket knife and a pair of nail clippers, it will take a while. If you stick with it though you’ll get there, and it’ll be worth it in the end.

What do you think? Has Ron Fucking Swanson inspired you to be a little more confident? Is there some other thing that gets you fired up? Share it with us in the comments!

Page 5 of 9« First...34567...Last »