Learning Swedish – A Segmented Approach

Yellow Cross by Christer

How much Swedish can we learn in 3 months using a new method we’ve never tried before?

In a way, this is equal parts both a personal challenge and also an experiment. We’ve wanted to learn Swedish for a while now, mostly because of my ancestry (I’m told ‘Wik’ comes from the same Swedish root as the ‘vik’ in ‘viking’, and one of our family historians insists that there’s some evidence ancestors way back of ours were vikings).

It’s no fun if you can’t make it a challenge though, so I’ve been considering ways to ramp things up a bit. To add that challenge element I decided to see how far we can get in the language in 3 months with what I would consider a minimal amount of study. What I mean by that is, we’ll only be studying for a few hours each night on the side of our other projects – not spending 8 hours a day cramming.

I think this will be a bit more instructive since in the past when we’ve taken on a language challenge I’ve not only given us a longer timeline (6 months for Korean) but we also made it something of a side job. We dropped a lot of other projects to clear enough time every day to study intensely. It was certainly effective, but I know not everyone has the luxury to do so. Now we’ve got more writing projects to keep on top of and the responsibility of teaching classes at the self-defense school I opened, so we’ve less ability to just drop things and devote ourselves to language study.

Since we’re already making things interesting, I also wanted to change up our methods a little bit as an experiment.

Since we have less time overall, rather than focus on learning as much as possible in vocab and grammar and getting to speaking practice immediately, we’re going to segment things out.

  • Month 1 Vocab – The first month we’re going to spend entirely on vocab acquisition with no real worries about grammar, speaking, or listening practice. Right now the plan is to use an SRS system, likely Memrise, to memorize as many of the most commonly used Swedish words as possible.

    Ideally the goal here is to learn at least the first 1,000 most common words in Swedish before the first month is over so that the foundations are well laid for beginning grammar study.

  • Month 2 Grammar – The second month will be devoted entirely to grammar study. I expect there will be some inevitable continuation of vocab learning – 1,000 words will not be enough even if it’s the 1,000 most common – but learning new words won’t be the focus it’ll just have to come incidentally.

    I’m not certain yet what resources we’ll use to learn things on the grammar side, but I’ll figure it out before the second month begins. I’m certain with the Internet we will have no problem at all finding free, high quality resources for Swedish grammar study. If you do have any recommendations however, leave them in the comments.

  • Month 3 Speaking – The third and last month is when we’ll finally hit the speaking and listening practice. This basically goes against the way we’ve learned all of our other languages (speaking with natives as soon as humanly possible), but it’s this inversion that I think will make it more interesting for me. Knowing I have to wait until the third month to get to the part I really enjoy will probably also be an extra motivating factor.

    I’ll mostly be using iTalki as our primary resource for this last month. I’d like to primarily use language exchange partners where we can give them some English instruction and then they can help us out with Swedish, although if need be I’ll give in and pay for an actual official tutor on iTalki to walk us through speaking practice. It’ll depend largely on how well, or poorly, we feel we’re progressing.

Why the Compartmentalized Approach?

All of our language acquisition experiments so far have followed the same basic learning structure – memorize as much vocab as possible and get to speaking with natives immediately with a little bit of grammar study on the side to help gain a better understanding of things.

This approach has worked very well, particularly I think because language is a skill and the best way to learn a skill is practice, not study. It’s very intensive though. It can be done I’m sure in a more relaxed manner, and a lot of that intensity was likely a manufactured result of the time constraints I placed on us to ramp up the challenge aspect, but it’s a lot for some people to tackle at once.

I think this compartmentalized approach may be a little easier to swallow for some people. Rather than having a variety of things to work on, each month has it’s sole goal. We can throw ourselves into vocab acquisition and vocab acquisition alone for the first month with myopic fervor not worrying about neglecting other aspects of our study.

I think this will make it less stressful, but will it also make it less effective?

I don’t know.

That’s the fun part.

Currently I don’t think it will, but I’ll document our progress as we go along and we’ll see. The nice thing about a challenge like this is, even if I completely fail by general standards to meet the goals I’m setting for myself and it turns out on top of everything else that this different method I’m testing is an extremely inefficient way to learn a language, we’ll still speak more Swedish by the end of it than we do now. So no matter what, we win.

Any thoughts on this challenge / experiment of ours? Resources you think we should look into or use? Just want to cheer us on? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Christer

Video Games, Process, & Success Dependence – How to Set Better Goals

Europa Univeralis IV Starting Screen

Europa Universalis IV players are often good examples of process driven individuals.

In general, people tend to fall into one of two categories in their approach to accomplishing a task. Either they’re result driven, or they’re process driven.

In my experience, of these two the process driven people tend to have more long term success when it comes to achieving the more difficult tasks. It seems to take far less willpower, or mental fortitude if you want to call it that, to tackle more difficult goals for those who are strongly process driven compared to those who are strongly result driven.

So how can we use that observation to help us set better goals, even if we naturally tend toward a result focus?

Result vs. Process in Video Games

The easiest way, for me anyway as a gamer, to demonstrate the two types of people is to look at the behaviors and attitudes of common players of two games.

On one hand you have players of a game like Awesomenauts (feel free to sub DOTA2 in here if you like, I just wanted to give Awesomenauts a shout out because I enjoy it). Awesomenauts players tend to be very strongly results focused. The game itself lends itself to this attitude – it’s a MOBA (multiplayer online battle arena) and, like traditional sports, your objective is to defeat the other team in a clearly defined manner.

You will frequently see players have severe meltdowns if it looks like they’re going to lose. The rage quit (abandoning the game in a fury because it doesn’t look like you’re going to win for you non-video game folk) is a semi-common occurrence, even though there are penalties built in to discourage it. Players can behave like irrational, whiny children who aren’t getting their way if it looks like they aren’t going to be victorious.

This attitude I thinks stems from, or is at least bolstered by, the game’s subconscious push for people to be results driven. Players fall into a myopic obsession with winning, with the result of the game, and as a result cannot enjoy the experience of playing unless they win, or feel like they’ll win. All that matters to them is the outcome.

Contrast that with players of some of Paradox’s grand strategy games like Crusader Kings II or Europa Universalis IV (EU4).

These games have no real win condition. Sure, you can try to conquer the entire globe, and there are ‘points’ so you could argue the objective the game sets for you is to get the most of them but it’s downplayed so much as to be essentially arbitrary.

Even in multiplayer EU4 players are essentially expected to create their own personal goals and ‘win’ conditions. I’ve noticed this structure seems to make people much more process focused. You won’t often see people rage quitting an EU4 game because ‘winning’ is a concept so divested from the core game and determinant on the whims of the player it would be foolish. EU4 players care more about the experience of playing, or the process of it, than they do about winning. Regardless of the result, they enjoy the process.

Before I get any hate mail from Awesomenauts players these are generalizations. Not every Awesomenauts player is a petulant child and not every EU4 player is a refined statesperson – but by looking at these generalizations we can see things that apply to tasks outside of gaming.

Are You Sabotaging Yourself by Being Too Results Focused

For a lot of people, their instinctive approach to set better goals is one falling much closer to the results focused manner the Awesomenauts players we discussed above approach their game.

It may be an endemic issue to U.S. culture, but a lot of people feel pushed to get results no matter what. They put the end result first, and approach things with that attitude of staking everything on ‘winning’ or accomplishing their goal. This can be a strong motivating factor, which is definitely a positive aspect, but it also ties the emotional payout of the experience into a very singular, specific factor.

That obsession with winning increases the reward payout of achieving the win condition – meeting your goal – but it also proportionately increases the emotional pain of not achieving the win condition – of failing to meet your goal.

In other words the more you conflate achieving your goal with being the most important best feeling thing in the world, the more failing to achieve it seems like the worst thing ever.

If you have the idea of losing tied to this strong emotional idea of pain, failure, and disappointment it’s easy to bail rather than risk experiencing that. That’s why rage quitting happens. It’s less painful emotionally to say, “Fuck this, if I can’t win I’m going home and taking my ball with me,” than to actually experience that loss. It’s an issue of pain avoidance, which is a very, very strongly wired an impulse in living things.

So why does that matter for my goals and learning to set better goals?

Let’s take fitness as an example. Partly because it’s common, partly because the societal connotations of pain & struggle being necessary for weight loss already tint it with the specter of pain avoidance.

Suppose you want to lose 15 pounds. You get really pumped about your goal. You’re seriously going to do it this time. You’re pumped. You are entirely and completely invested emotionally in that goal of being 15 pounds lighter.

Now suppose you’re three weeks in and, for whatever reason – a few too many drinks out with friends, general weight fluctuations, getting sick and missing some workouts, whatever, you hop on the scale and you’re back up five or six pounds. Maybe even back to where you started. It’s at this point that you’re most likely to throw in the towel, maybe not even consciously, but when your success is so strongly tied to reaching that goal and you see yourself sliding in the wrong direction that little voice that says, “Dude, just eat the pizza. Go get a box of doughnuts too. It’ll be fine,” gets a lot louder.

The same applies to your actual workouts – if all you’re focused on is the result, not seeing tangible progress destroys your motivation. If you look like you’re going to fail, it’s easier to just quit. Even though quitting’s the best way to guarantee failure.

Compare this with someone who has a purely process focused attitude toward fitness.

This person does it for a love of doing it, rather than solely to achieve an end result. To quote Gerald, “The journey is the destination, man.” Like the EU4 players they don’t care about what happens in the end, win or lose they’re there because they derive their fun from the process.

Ironically here the person who is less directly focused on and invested in that specific goal, losing 15 pounds for example, is the one who would have the easier time reaching it. If you stick to your macros and lift because you want to lift, because you have fun doing it, you’re not going to self-sabotage and quit like the person who slogs through it because they want that end result.

Developing Process Driven Goals

Shifting your focus to process driven goals instead of success dependent ones isn’t that hard externally – it’s a fairly simple process to rework outcome driven goals into process driven ones – but it can be extremely hard to change your mindset to embrace process driven goals more naturally.

The first step in changing a results driven goal into a process driven one is to figure out what processes are going to be most instrumental in making progress toward the result driven goal itself. We’ll go back to fitness as our example again.

If your outcome focused goal is to lose 15 pounds, a piece of the process to achieve that goal may be lifting weights three times per week. That process then becomes your goal – instead of setting out to ‘lose 15 pounds’ you set out to ‘lift three times per week’.

I’ll note here though that one of the finer points of this process is also asking yourself, “What can I do that falls into that category of helpful processes that I also enjoy?”

If you despise lifting weights, then just changing your focus to being process driven may not be enough if the process you choose is lifting weights. You may be better off making your process goal ‘swim three times per week’ or something like that which you particularly enjoy.

It can be very hard to change a long standing opinion on something. While you can grow to enjoy an activity you currently despise, it’s often a grueling process. It’s much easier to figure out something you enjoy that also helps you progress toward your goal than it is to learn to love an activity that you dislike.

In the end, that becomes the crux of it. Once you can find an activity related to your goal that you can wake up in the morning and think, “I really can’t wait to go X,” rather than “Ugh, I have to go Y again,” the easier and more quickly you’ll achieve those goals.

Do you have any suggestions on how to become more process driven or get away from outcome oriented goal setting to set better goals? Share them with us in the comments!

GoBadass: A Guide to GoRuck, the Toughest Day of Your Life

Road to Epic GoRuck - Carrying a Telephone Pole around Cincinnati

What, never carried a telephone pole around?

If you’ve done obstacle course races you might have heard of GoRucks before, but if not then allow me to summarize it for you: it’s the most rewarding, tiring, mentally tough fitness-y “event” you’ll ever do.

It’s torture, but it’s so much fun. You may find yourself with your face nose-deep in a stranger’s rear-end, but by the end of the day you’ll be friends and comrades. You’ll be dirty, ache all over, and have sores on your feet, but a huge grin on your face. It’s hard but will teach you more about yourself in one day than you’ll learn in a year.

What’s a GoRuck?

GoRucks are tough to describe briefly as there are different levels of difficulty, secrecy, and not much else out there like them.

GoRuck was founded by a Green Beret Veteran who wanted to be a voice for good, employ Special Operations veterans, and build a bridge between the military and civilians. The result was a company that makes military-grade rucksacks and holds events geared to mimic special ops training.

I could compare a GoRuck to an obstacle course race (OCR) – except that a GoRuck is not a race, there are no obstacles and, unlike a normal race, there are physical challenges. Also you’ll have a rucksack with bricks in it. Lastly, you won’t be competing against anyone except perhaps yourself – you’ll be a part of a 20-30 person team that you’ll look after and who will look after you.

There are a few different levels of GoRuck as mentioned: Light, Challenge, Heavy, and Selection. There are also some specialized Expedition events, but I’ll cover these a bit more in depth soon. Each event is led by the team cadre, a Special Ops veteran flown into each city just for the event. Unlike with obstacle course races, every GoRuck event is unique and it’s entirely possible that the cadre will make it up as they go. The uncertainty about what you’ll be doing is part of the experience and appeal.

Differences Between GoRuck Events

As mentioned, the main types of GoRuck event are the Light, Challenge, Heavy, and Selection. It’s easiest to lay out the differences in a table, so have a table!

Event Length Distance Pack Weight Avg. Pass Rate
Light 4-5 hours 7-10 miles <150# = 2 bricks (~10lb);
>150# = 4 bricks (~20lb)
99%
Challenge 10-12 hours 15-20 miles <150# = 4 bricks (~20lb);
>150# = 6 bricks (~30lb)
94%
Heavy 24+ hours 40+ miles <150# = 25lb;
>150# = 25lb
50%
Selection 48+ hours 80+ miles 45# <5%

If you can complete a 5k OCR, you can do a GoRuck Light. You might not have a good time, but you’ll be able to do it. From there they go up in difficulty. Someone who does regular strength and cardiovascular training could likely do a Challenge as well.

While I have yet to do a Heavy or Selection (though I plan to somewhere between 2015-16), I think the pass rates speak for themselves: they are difficult and you cannot expect to succeed without dedicated training.

You must weigh your ruck down for each event, and you can use bricks (~4-6lb each on average) or sandbags. I highly recommend going for bricks over sandbags as sandbags get heavier when wet, and you will get wet. Make sure you wrap the bricks in duct tape beforehand and write your name and phone number on them. Labeling them is important if you decide to throw them away after the event – so they aren’t mistaken for bombs or anything.

If you are in the Light or Challenge, you’ll have your pack visually inspected by the Cadre, however for the Heavy and Selections they may bring a scale to check the weight of your ruck.

Not having the proper amount of weight in your pack is an immediate dismissal from the event.

Beyond the main events (called “Good Livin’”), they also have Expeditions, scavenger hunts, a 5k, and firearms training events. The Expeditions include GoRuck Ascent (mountaineering, climbing, navigation, survival training, and wilderness medicine), GoRuck Beached (learn amphibious skills and practice in missions), GoRuck Navigator (route planning, map reading, compass & gps skills, and survival skills), and finally GoRuck Trek (learn spycraft and mission planning skills, then practice in a mock mission.)

Road to Epic GoRuck - Crossing the Ohio River into Kentucky

You’ll get lots of stares, cheers, people stopping to ask questions then calling you crazy. You’ll feel crazy.

What to Expect

Each event is different, however there are some basic things that are common. Usually, they are laid out as a main objective (get from A to B), with military-inspired challenges to test your teamwork and physical and mental fortitude. You’ll get uncomfortably close to strangers, receive and/or give aid, hike a lot, carry a lot of things, challenged and exhausted in every possible way, and be smiling when it’s all over.

Without going into too much detail, some of the challenges in GoRucks I have done are: Lots of the famous log carrying along with challenges that tested our navigational, teamwork, strength, strength endurance, memory, focus, planning, mindfulness, foraging and observational skills.

You’ll do things you don’t want to do, but have to do for the mission. For instance, we had to army crawl (real army crawling where your head and ass are down, not this bullshit) while being mindful of precious objects we had to protect in a park field where lovely dog owners had carelessly left their dogs’ feces for us to avoid crawling through (spoiler alert: not everyone could avoid it.)

Likely you’ll find a log or telephone pole to carry, but each event also requires that the team carries a weight (weight of item varies upon event), an American Flag, and a GoRuck flag.

Expect to be gawked at by onlookers curious what you are doing and what on earth would possess you to do it.

You can train for the physical aspects, and should, however your mental game is going to make or break the event for you. If you are tired or off, you’re going to have a bad time. If you try to cheat or be lazy, you’re going to have a bad time (and likely get sent home – yes, if you are not a team player or are not completing challenges as instructed the Cadre can decide you’re out.) If you are mentally tough, you’ll succeed. If you are weak-willed a GoRuck will break you.

There will be times when you want to quit, when your body aches and your thoughts are fuzzy, but you’ll have to convince yourself to push forward, to keep going. Everyone starts out doe-eyed and eager, however a few hours in everyone will be tired and their true colors will be visible. Are you going to be the person who gives up? Who complains the whole time and drags everyone down?

You can sort of train mental toughness by pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone to the edge of your limits, physically and mentally. The more you do it, the more your limits increase and the harder you have to work to hit them.

Most of all, expect to be a part of the team. You’ll move as a team, complete challenges as a team, and finish as a team. A lot of the challenges will require teamwork to complete and if someone is injured or requires aid it is expected other team members help them. This could be carrying an injured teammate, offering to carry extra rucks if you are unable to help carry the log or if someone is near extreme exhaustion, sharing water, so on and so forth.

The prize for completion? Honor, a patch, and new friends.

What to Take

GoRuck has a list of required and suggested options for each event, however I have a personal packing list I’ll share to help give you ideas. A good thing to keep in mind is that you will be carrying this stuff for several hours – do not pack any more than necessary.

  • Bricks – Obviously, however I have a couple additional suggestions. Duct-tape them, but then also duct tape them together and wrap them in some easy-to-quickly unwrap bubble wrap for comfort. Find some way to secure them and to keep them up high in the pack with something a foam yoga block underneath them. Having them wrapped in bubble wrap, secured and high up on your back distributes the weight more evenly and prevents them from jumbling around and having a corner poke you, or having them slap against your lower back and wears you out less quickly.
  • Sunscreen – If your event is during the daytime this should be a no-brainer.
  • Gloves – Optional, but highly recommended so you don’t get torn up hands (and before anyone with a “tough guy” attitude comes in here, it’s not cool to get broken glass shoved into your hand.)
  • LOTS OF WATER – Bring a huge water bladder, and additional sources of liquid refreshment. During one of my rucks, a team member’s water bladder cap broke and they lost all their water and another ran out from drinking it all up too quickly – lucky for both of them I brought four bottles and was more than happy to share.
  • Carabiner – This will come in handy if some part of your ruck breaks, which is a high possibility. If doing the Heavy or Selection, a carabiner rated for holding your weight is required.
  • A Properly Fitted Ruck – It’s tempting to get a huge Ruck or to get a very small one, however I highly suggest you try multiples to find the perfect one for you. Too big and it will be a burden (I used one too large and suffered by getting hit in the chin multiple times doing crab-walks with it on backwards), too small and it wont fit everything required. You’ll also need to experiment with the straps to make sure it won’t wear on your lower back and will cause minimal shoulder pain.
  • Reflective Tape – This is required to be on your ruck and/or on your person at all times. This was previously suggested, however is now absolutely required after a Rucker lost his life during a nighttime event. Safety is not a joke.
  • Headlamp & batteries – Required for nighttime events and just flat out handy.
  • Pre-packaged snacks – I specify pre-packaged for ease of access and storage, however a friend of mine took Ziplock bag filled with 2 lbs of bacon she cooked and was more than happy with it. In each event, you’ll have opportunities to sneak in a bite to eat if necessary and considering how active you will be you will want to. I am personally a big fan of Clif energy & protein bars, but bring whatever you enjoy and will be easy to eat. Candy bars are not uncommon.
  • Cash, ID (in a plastic bag and/or cards) – You’ll need cab fare in case you decide to bail or if you get booted, but also if your cadre is nice and allows you a break to buy extra water/snacks this will come in handy (also: you can buy a meal with your comrades afterward.)
  • Comfortable Shoes, Socks, and Extra Socks – For the Light and Challenge you can get away with wearing sports shoes, however it is highly suggested (and required for the Heavy and Selection) you purchase a comfortable pair of boots with ankle support. Thick socks to help prevent wear on your feet are also important – arguments have broken out over the best pair of socks for GoRucks, so I’ll leave that up to you.
  • A Friend – Everything’s better with a friend isn’t it? While you will get close to your team mates and encourage each other to push forward, having at least one person you know will be an added source of camaraderie and encouragement.
Road to Epic GoRuck - Kissing the Ohio River

You have to be prepared for whatever is thrown at you. Including doing push ups in a polluted river full of broken glass and metal.

Training

GoRucks will require a lot of low, steady-state endurance, strength, strength endurance, and possibly periods of sprinting or brief running. You’ll have to build a plan you find sustainable and enjoyable, however I have these few suggestions:

2x per week: Strength Training – I suggest picking or building a weightlifting routine that focuses on increasing overall strength.
2x per week: Cardio – Running is your best bet here, building up to a 5k is more than enough for a Light and Challenge. Because GoRuck’s are varied, vary your workouts too and do HIIT sprints and hill sprints, too. Alternatively, you can also do lightly-weighted exercises for intensity/time (example: front squats with dumbbells or a lightly weighted barbell for 20 reps for 5 sets, or for a set time.)
1x per week: Practice ruck with pack-weighted exercises – Set a pack weight, distance to walk and exercises to do during the walk and increase all variables as able to. For example, you could do a 5 mile walk with a backback weighted to 10lbs hitting up the park on your way. While at the park practice army crawls, bear crawls, crab walks, push-ups and squats, hill sprints, and planks. After you’re done, continue your walk until you get back to your starting point. Other good ideas: sandbag carrys, farmer’s walks, wood chops/sledge hammers, sled pulls, box jumps, and burpees.

How long you’ll need to train beforehand will depend on your current physical state and how badly you want to rock the ruck. If you just want to pass the Light and are average health-wise, a 6 week training plan should be more than enough. If you want to thrive, I’d suggest a bit longer.

Just remember to start small and build up as your body allows, and value your rest days.

There are no requirements for each event, save for the Selection, and no way to predict exactly what you’ll need to be able to do, so this plan is just to give you a general idea of things to think about when building your own training plan.

The pre-requisites for the Selection are (and you will be tested on them during the event, if you fail at any one of them you will be dismissed):
– 2 minutes to complete a minimum of 55 push-ups sans-ruck
– 2 minutes to complete a minimum of 65 sit-ups sans-ruck
– 5 mile run within 40 minutes sans-ruck
– 12 mile run with ruck within 3 hours and 30 minutes. Ruck must weigh 45lbs at all times, not including water and food.

Why you Should do a GoRuck

At the beginning of my first ruck I was all-smiles and eager to take on whatever challenges thrown my way. By the middle, I was repeating affirmations and encouraging “Don’t give up! You’ve got this!” statements in my head and trying to ignore the “Why did you sign up for this?! This is horrible!”, and by the end I was banged up and tired. However, I gained an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and perspective. Possibly AIDS too – the Ohio river is polluted and full of litter folks, and doing burpees in it is not exactly advisable.

I’m sure by this point many of you reading this are thinking “Why the hell would I put myself through that kind of misery? Why would you want to ache, carry telephone poles around town, torture yourself in a dirty river, and drag your face through dog poo?! And you PAID FOR IT!”

Well, because it’s fun. Because the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment from the experience cannot be described. As you do more rucks, even repeating levels, the mental devils still come back and you will still have to push yourself. No matter what you will get scraped, bruised and exhausted.

But it is worth it.

One could also argue why you’d do an OCR, marathon, or triathlon, and the reasons are really simple: they are fun, incredible experiences that push you to your mental and physical limits. They are excellent ways to stay healthy and fit doing a challenging activity you enjoy.

Road to Epic GoRuck - Group Picture

Being finished is a relief but you’ll also find yourself wanting more – the endorphin high and immense feelings of accomplishment are addicting.

Are you up for the challenge?

Get out there and do a GoRuck! If you’ve already done one, what did you think of it? Share your experience and training ideas in the comments below!

Why Behavioral Change is Hard and What You Can Do About It

Adventure Time - "Dude, sucking at something is the first step to becoming sorta good at something." by Jake the Dog.

Want to make a big behavioral change in your life? Maybe you want to get fit or commit to learning a language or instrument, or even to start meditating.

At some time or another, everyone sets goals they hope to attain someday that will require significant changes to their lifestyles. Unfortunately though, most will fail to achieve those goals.

Every new year, gyms are crowded with well-intentioned “resolutioners” who want to become healthy, perhaps lose some pounds, and be a better version of themselves in the new year. By February the number of those who stick around will be halved, then by March that number halved again. Only a very small percent of those who started will stick around.

Behavioral Change Motivated by Negative Emotions

A lot of the people at the gym are motivated by the things that make them upset or by a negative conscious. They’re upset about being overweight, feeling guilty for not exercising as often as they should.

The same goes for many other pursuits, even learning instruments – they focus too much on what they can’t do, or the guilty feelings for missed practice sessions.

Studies have shown that those seeking to make long-lasting behavioral changes are most successful when they are self-motivated and founded in positive thinking.

So don’t focus on the negatives – focus on the good that will come from that behavioral change, on how good it feels to know you’ve hit your targets along your way to that goal. Focus on the wins you have had – it’s better to exercise once a week for 15 minutes, than not at all.

Your inner dialog effects your success rate, your confidence and your moods. The more you can make it a positive voice instead of a negative one, the happier and more successful you’ll be.

Visualizations and personal mission statements have been shown to help people succeed in their goals and in changing the tone of their inner voice.

Practice visualizing succeeding in your goals and make time at the beginning of your day to recite your personal mission statement, like “today will be a productive day – I’ll practice Spanish and go to the gym.” Or “I’m hardworking and make awesome videos – I dedicate myself to making the best videos available.”

“The most successful people recognize, that in life they create their own love, the manufacture their own meaning, hey generate their own motivation.”
– Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Take on More than You Can Handle

Your willpower is finite and so is your time. Taking on too many goals at once will not only drain your willpower and motivation, but will lower your focus and ability to devote time to meet those goals.

Once one thing fails, it’s easy to slip into a negative mind-set and let it all fall apart.

People who seem to be able to “do it all” and “magically have time for everything” didn’t start out that way – they built it up slowly.

To ensure your goals will be successful, start with just one or two and add to it as you feel able to. Once meeting your first couple goals is so easy and habitual that you do it without even thinking, then you can add more.

Stay in Your Comfort Zone

A lot of behavioral changes will require that you do something uncomfortable. They will make you do things you don’t normally do, in the name of making you into a better person.

Practicing a language requires you get out of your comfort zone – you’ll eventually need to go out and practice speaking with other people.

Eating healthy foods, hitting calorie and macro targets, exercising all require that you get out of your comfort zone. It’s just easier to not do those things, and eating ‘bad foods’ make you feel really good right now.

An simple way to address the comfort zone issue is to break it up into small, swallow-able chunks and to congratulate yourself on the successes you do make.

Practice speaking in your target language for just a few minutes, and build it up from there. Same goes for exercising – don’t try to go all out and lift or run for an hour. Eating healthy food all day isn’t easy for everyone, so start with just one meal.

Once those small commitments aren’t painful anymore, then you can increase the time or difficulty.

“We avoid risks in life, so we can make it safely to death.”
-Philosoraptor

Make Things as Hard as Possible

Sure, you can keep track of how much you’ve spent on ‘entertainment’ in your head. And you can remember to practice playing your ukulele for fifteen minutes a day if it’s hidden in it’s case and tucked in the closet, right?

Right?

Nope.

We aren’t perfect, so the more we can make behavioral change easier to do than to not do, the better. Rather than fully putting away your instrument after practice, keep it somewhere in the open where it is easy to see and think “Yeah, I’ll just grab it and practice for a few minutes.” The hassle of taking something out of it’s case is small, but enough to discourage someone from doing it.

If keeping to a budget is difficult, forcing yourself to only spend cash on your entertainment will eliminate the need for (often wrong) mental math and keeps you on track to that big goal.

If you want to exercise early in the morning, keep your exercise clothes out ahead of time – set them out before going to bed so that it’s in your way and easier than not to put them on and go work out. Put your meditation and language-learning apps on the front screen of your phone so you’ll have that many fewer steps to comply.

Vague, Un-actionable Goals

We’ve talked a lot about how having vague goals practically ensures failure. When you have a big goal like “lose weight,” “learn guitar” or “become financially independent” it’s incredibly easy to become overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and paralyzed by not knowing what to do.

Take the time to make your goal specific and then explicitly list out the steps required to achieve that goal – this will go a long way to ensure your success. Once you’ve completed the goal and actions-to-goal sheet, put it somewhere easy to see and take a look at it from time to time to remind yourself that your goal is doable, and you know exactly how to do it.

Breaking down big goals into smaller, mini goals will help not to feel overwhelmed and will give you clarity. You know what you need to do and you know you can do it. The only thing is to actually do it.

Don’t Build New Habits

One of the easiest ways to achieve a goal is to incorporate it into who you are, to make it a part of your habits and being. Unfortunately, many people don’t take the time to do this. We want to skip the hard work of behavioral change and just reap the benefits – but it doesn’t work like that.

If your goal is to workout three days a week for an hour per session when you haven’t set foot in a gym for the past year, starting there is likely to fail. Going to the gym three days a week is something you aren’t used to doing and the time commitment will wear you out.

If you want to make meditation, language practice or instrument practice into a daily activity, the same idea applies – jumping into a huge time commitment will wear down your willpower.

Instead of taking on a big commitment that is a huge behavioral change, start with a small change. Meditate or practice for just five minutes per day. At the beginning, five minutes may seem ridiculously easy, but the point is to make the act of practice a habit. Once that is down, you can slowly increase the time.

Don’t forget to track your progress toward those habits, too. Using the Seinfeld chain method, keep a piece of paper on a wall and mark it for each day you successfully complete the goal task. Having a visual reminder of your successes will keep you positive, motivated, and ingrain this habit.

Focus on the act of complying, not with the results. Making the task become a habit and a part of your lifestyle will ensure not only success, but sustainable success. Results will follow.

Don’t Identify Triggers

Have you ever had a day when something is just off and when one thing is off it spirals downward until everything has gone wrong and you just give up?

Sometimes it’s easy to point to what went wrong – but often it’s not so easy. Say you went over on your calories at lunch and beat yourself up over it, then by dinner time thought, “ugh, I screwed up. Forget it, let’s eat pizza for dinner.” Maybe you did this consciously, maybe unconsciously.

Keeping a journal during your change and having regular check-ins once or multiple times per week will help you to identify triggers that caused you to de-rail your progress. Once you can identify those triggers, then you can work on creating a plan to deal with them. If you went over your calories at lunch – remember that it’s not a big deal, keep your dinner to what you planned. Remember that there will be bumps along the way.

Behavioral Change is a Process

Changing your habits and behaviors is hard work. Humans are complex and even under ideal circumstances, they can fail.

You don’t exercise once and suddenly become a gym-rat or play guitar once and suddenly become a riff-master. It takes patience and persistence. Learn to love the process and the results will come.

The key to successful behavioral change is simple though: don’t give up. The path to successful behavioral change is never straight and often requires starting over and over. But that’s okay – failures are a way to start again with more knowledge than before (what worked? What didn’t?) Take a break if you need to, but then get back to it.

It requires an immense amount of courage to get out of your comfort zone and to become more than average. If you have any major behavioral changes you want to make in your life it’s important to remember exactly what you’re doing you’re trying to become more than average. To become awesome – or epic.

If it were easy, everyone would be their ideal selves.

“The higher the mountain, the more treacherous the path.”
– Frank Underwood

How Mindful Meditation is a Workout for Your Brain

Meditation

You don’t need to be a monk to meditate, nor do you need a huge time commitment.

For the longest time the idea of meditation always conjured up images monks sitting cross-legged on mountaintops, cliffs, under waterfalls or some similar wilderness space all while being completely silent for hours on end. I thought it was a spiritual thing and the benefits were all just myths or pseudoscience.
However a growing body of studies caused me to take a second look at it and since experimenting with it personally, I highly recommend everyone give it a try.

What Is Mindful Meditation

There’s several different ways to meditate, however most of the scientific research focuses on mindful meditation, or Zazen (literally: seated meditation.) As such, that’s what we’re going to focus on in this article.

In mindful meditation, you focus on one specific thing – it could be a sensation or your breathing. The point is to focus on this one thing and when you catch your mind wandering, you gently bring it back to that focal point.

We train our bodies in a gym – doing reps to increase our strength and cardio to improve heart health. Meditation is like going to the gym, but for your brain. Unlike a gym, it’s cheaper and doesn’t require any fancy clothes and doesn’t have any potential for worrying about how you look in front of others.

Zazen is not so much about spirituality as much as it is about training your concentration and attention – the ability to be present, quiet your mind and focus on one thing.

Our brains have to process a lot of information – this information is like confetti being released from a ceiling and you are your brain trying to grasp on to each of them. Our attention is everywhere and it decreases our focus, productivity and increases our stress levels. With meditation, we learn to slow down and control that flow of information.

Mindful Meditation Works by Literally Changing Your Brain

Technology has enabled scientists to get a better understanding of what happens in our brains when we meditate and how it affects our brains. Thus far have been absolutely fascinating.

Using fMRI scans one of the biggest things scientists have learned is that it causes a decrease in beta waves, meaning our brains stop or slow down processing information.

In addition to controlling the flow of information, it also increases gray matter which has a huge impact on our lives, as I’ll describe below.

What Does This Mean For You?

Increased Focus

During mindful meditation, we are practicing holding on to a singular focus and bringing it back when our mind drifts – this practice enables us to be better at focusing even when we are not meditating.

Decreased Anxiety

This was a huge one for me, as I am prone to trouble with anxiety. Consistent meditation loosens the connections of particular neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex – commonly called the “me center.” This part of the brain processes information relating to ourselves and our experiences.

Typically, the neural pathways from bodily sensation and fear centers to the Me Center are strong – when you experience a negative or upsetting situation a reaction is triggered in your Me Center that makes you feel scared or under attack.

Meditation loosens these connections, meaning our reactions are more toned down and under control. Something
that would have previously lit up the Me Center would barely register.

As this connection is weakened, the connection in our Assessment Center is simultaneously strengthened. So, when we encounter a scary situation, rather than being gripped by fear and anxiety we are able to calmly and rationally assess the situation.

Decreased Stress

Meditation also helps reduce stress – part to lowering anxiety, but also in part by helping us perform while under pressure.

Increased Memory

One of the more fascinating discoveries is that meditation can help improve memory recall. Multiple studies have found that those who meditated were able to focus and remember facts better than those who did not.

Increased Gray Matter

Meditation has also been linked to increased gray matter in the hippocampus and frontal areas of the brain. More gray matter can lead to more positive emotions, longer lasting emotional stability, less stress, and heightened focus. Even ore, it’s linked to diminished age-related effects on gray matter and reduces the decline of our cognitive functioning. How cool is that?

Not enough for you? How about increased creativity, lowered blood pressure, reduced pain, increased compassion, confidence, well-being and overall quality of life. If you suffer from anxiety or depression meditation is one of the most powerful things you can do to help.

Meditation is not a cure-all for every ailment, however it is incredibly beneficial. So why not give it a shot?

How to Meditate

In order to glean the highest benefits of meditation, you need to integrate it into your lifestyle. You’ll benefit from just two minutes a day, or if you are ready to jump into it, meditate for between 10 to 30 minutes.
You can go it by yourself, or you can use an app to help. I’ll explain both ways for you here:

On your own

  • Find a comfortable, quiet place and sit. You can sit on the floor or in a chair – whichever doesn’t matter. As long as your back is straight, you are comfortable and there will be no or limited distractions.
  • Rest your hands on your thighs or rest them together in your lap.
  • Close your eyes, and take a few slow, deep breaths. Notice any sensations you feel – the sensation of your back against the chair, your feet on the floor, the weight of your body on the cushion. Notice your muscles in your face, shoulders, stomach, and legs. Don’t try to change anything, just notice it.
  • Take another deep breath and relax your facial muscles. With another breath, relax your shoulders. Go on from head to toes.
  • Just breathe. Focus on your breaths, flowing in and out. The only thing going on in your mind should be “breathe in, Breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.” Count your breaths up to ten, and then restart.
  • It wont take long for your mind to drift, to start thinking about the things you have to do today or anything that troubles you or excites you. This is natural. Acknowledge it, don’t chastise yourself over it and bring your focus back to your breath. Pick up where you left off.
  • At the end of your meditation (you can set up a timer) take a final breath, and bring your attention back to the room. Notice how you feel now. Slowly open your eyes.

As you progress, this process will become a lot easier. After a couple of weeks meditation you’ll begin to reap the benefits – a sense of calm and control, increased focus and less stress, among the many others.

When you meditate is up to you, however I highly suggest making it a part of your morning routine. I like to call it my start-up process. I have found that doing it first thing assists in feeling calm and focused throughout the day. However, you can also meditate before bed or midday – and you should if you are feeling particularly stressed. Just take a ten minute break to meditate.

Mindful Meditation with Apps

Calm

Calm is my favorite app for meditating. With it you have two options: guided meditation or a timer and doing it yourself. Two of the sets of guided meditation are free, while the rest are accessible for between $0.83-$1.66 per month.

The major benefits to Calm for me are the background white-noise options – you can listen to babbling brooks, a sunny meadow, or rain on leaves. I’ve found personally that having some form of white-noise while I meditate helps me keep that singular focus.

Calm App

Calm’s main screen.

Calm App

Calm’s Guided Meditations.

Additionally, you can choose the noise to signal the end of your session from a pre-set selection. I like them because most of them are non-jarring noises like a singing bowl or harp. Or, you can have no noise set.

Furthermore, Calm logs your sessions and helps keep you motivated.

Breathe

Breathe is a little bit different from Calm in that before you get to the meditation it forces you to take note of your current state by asking you some questions such as how you are feeling mentally and physically, and what words you’d use to describe them. From this, it offers up suggestions for guided meditations or you can go it yourself with just a timer.

Additionally, it has options to help teach you how to meditate, a list of guided meditations if you’d like to skip straight to one, and to see your progress.

Breathe App.

Breathe’s Main Screen.

Breathe App.

Breathe also teaches how meditation works.

Honorable mention: Headspace.

Headspace is also a cute little app that also teaches you about meditation and how to meditate. I like the app, however I feel that its use is stunted – your only option is to use the first 10 guided meditation sessions before you have to pay for more. There’s no option for “just meditate _ minutes.” However, if you like it the full version is not expensive at all.

Challenge

So here we challenge you to try meditation for just one month. Using the setup below, make this a part of your lifestyle by implementing it small chunk by small chunk:

  • Week 1: Meditate just one minute every day.
    Commit to just sitting down and taking one minute out of your day to meditate. Just one minute. You can do that, right?
  • Week 2: Meditate 5 minutes every day.
    Now that you made it through a week of one minute, time to increase the work. Try for just five minutes each day.
  • Week 3: Meditate 10 minutes every day.
    Again, if you made it five, you can do ten.
  • Week 4: Meditate 15 minutes every day.

Note and observe any differences you felt before and after meditation.

If you take up the challenge, come back and tell us how you felt in the comments below! If you are a seasoned veteran, we invite you to share your thoughts and tips as well.

Photo Credit: Sebastien Wiertz

Thoughts on Fat Pride from a Formerly Fat Fit Guy

Fat Boy by James Marvin Phelps

Fat Squirrel cares little about your opinion of him.

I grew up as a fat kid.

Through the majority of my childhood I ranged from what might be considered chubby all the way up to full-blown obese in my teen years. At one point I was even inching up on the 300 pound mark. While the argument could be made that as a male my experience was less severe than what a female would have been subjected to I can still say I know what it’s like physically, psychologically, and socially to be a fat person.

My experiences during that time, and the time since then in which I’ve become more fit and healthy than I’ve been my entire life, are why all the attention I’ve seen lately being given to fat pride bother me. As someone who’s been in both worlds, I thought it would be helpful to express my thoughts on the subject.

Fat Shaming, Female Body Image and a Disclaimer

Rustled Jimmies Everywhere

I am fully aware that this is going to rustle some jimmies.

I want to make it very clear from the outset that I’m not advocating fat shaming here. I don’t think that the portion of the ‘fat acceptance movement’, as some people in that camp like to be called, that is against fat shaming, negative body image, or self-loathing is a bad thing. I 100% support that part of it.

I also want to recognize for a second time that, in general, this usually gets painted as a feminist or at least feminine-centric issue. Being a male, that means that my commentary is going to be coming at least a little bit as an outsider looking in. I don’t want to make it sound like I’m speaking authoritatively on the female experience because I can’t. Unfortunately, because of how generally fucked up the U.S. sociocultural environment is when it comes to female body issues I can’t get away from addressing these things in relation to this topic.

Lastly, I want to note these are just my thoughts on the subject as someone who spent most of his life in the obese category – you can think whatever you want about it. If I severely rustle your jimmies you’re welcome to leave a comment to let me know what you think.

What’s the Fat Acceptance Movement?

Before I give my understanding of all this fat acceptance stuff I want to give you a few links in the interest of fairness / just in case I’m totally misunderstanding something. I have better things to do than beat up on a straw man. So here, here, here, and here are four quick examples I found.

To my understanding the general idea is to be proud of being fat, to embrace it in order to make it a positive thing overall. It’s no secret that in the U.S. the media deifies a particular body image for both men and women that is, for the average person, at best unrealistic. This is exacerbated by the prevalence of digital editing and overall Photoshoppery that these ads are subjected to after everything else.

They rail against the psychological and physical harm this causes and argue that as a society we shouldn’t consider there to be anything wrong with being fat. To subvert the cultural standard that being fat is negative they suggest embracing it and taking it as a personal point of pride.

Hanging on to this though, as can be seen in a couple of the links above, is a related idea that trying to lose weight is either harmful, misguided, entirely impossible, or all of three combined.

The Parts of Fat Pride That I Like

The foundational message is one I can both relate to strongly and agree with – cultural ideals when it comes to body type are unnecessarily unrealistic and seriously fucked up.

If someone is overweight they should never be made to feel lesser for it. Asking people to measure up to images that have been heavily doctored and then loading them with oppressive amounts of guilt and shame when they inevitably fall well short of that is blatantly wrong.

Additionally a lot of our cultural ideas about why people become fat (they lack willpower, they’re lazy, no self-control, etc.) are flat out wrong.

Weight change and fitness are not a willpower issue. Very few people are overweight because they choose to be, or because of some fault of their own. Now, I don’t hold them entirely inculpable either, I think things like food addiction are too often blown out of proportion and used as a scapegoat. The reality falls somewhere in the middle, they’re not 100% at fault for being fat but they’re not 0% responsible for their condition either. (Sorry, if you want things with clear cut answers the fields you’re looking for are mathematics or physics, not biology.)

For all those reasons I find fat shaming reprehensible. It’s clear cut abuse and bullying. From that standpoint, I wholeheartedly support anyone who wants to stand up and say, “Haters gonna hate. Fuck you all. I like myself the way I am.”

That being said…

The Parts of Fat Pride I Despise

Tagging along with all the things I can support are some things that I’m vehemently opposed to. The primary one being an insistence that no one can lose weight or become fit long term and therefore no one should try.

Within several of the links I shared above as examples and in others I found while digging around I found it asserted repeatedly that not only is there no way for people to lose weight long term, but that it’s overall more unhealthy to try to lose weight than it is to remain overweight or obese.

As someone who has lost weight and become fit and healthy and stayed that way long term, as someone whose job it is to help other people do the same, it bothers me to hear people claim it’s not possible and work to deter people from trying.

Many of the sites making these claims cite the abstracts of flawed studies and meta-analyses to support their claims making them appear more credible to people who won’t bother to pay to read the study or who aren’t knowledgeable enough to note the flaws in the methodology. This can lead people who might have been considering making a positive change in their lives and starting the process to lose weight and get fit to instead decide not to bother.

I find this kind of active discouraging of people to improve their lives just because you don’t think it’ll work reprehensible.

My Overall Thoughts

Personally, I equate being overweight or obese with smoking cigarettes.

Culturally, as of late anyway, smoking is probably more publicly discouraged than being overweight, but I still draw a lot of parallels between the two. Most people recognize that both smoking and being overweight are generally detrimental to your health. Regardless, people are still overweight and people still smoke.

This is primarily because neither is always a ‘choice’ in the purest sense. Environmental, familial, cultural, and economic factors can predispose individuals toward smoking and/or obesity. Once you’re on the path to either, it’s extremely hard to get off of it. You can’t tell someone who is addicted to cigarettes to just ‘quit smoking’ and expect them to do it. It’s not strictly a willpower issue. In the same way you can’t just tell someone who’s overweight to ‘eat less and move more’ and expect them to get in shape.

I have family members who smoke. I care about them, so I’m always there to help and encourage them to quit. That doesn’t mean I badger them, ridicule them, or generally behave like an ass toward them if they don’t want to quit. It is, ultimately, their choice (issues of addiction and agency come into play, but we won’t go into that right now) whether they want to quit or not.

I have family who are overweight and I treat them the same way. If they want to make a change and lose weight I’m there for them. If they don’t, I’m not going to push it or shame them as a result.

I fully support any efforts to empower people to stand up to societal norms that are often at best arbitrary and at worst directly harmful. Hell, the general ethos of this site is one of embracing non-conformity. But we should also encourage people to take their health into their own hands rather than telling them that any attempts to change themselves would be futile.

Where do you stand on this? Leave a comment and let us know.

Photo Credit: James Marvin Phelps

Willpower, Discipline, and Obedience: How to Do What You Set Out to Do

Yeva and a Sausage 2 by GG Vogman

Does willpower keep the dog from eating the sausage, or obedience?

I’ve written a lot about willpower and discipline in the past because it’s a subject that fascinates me. Consider this, with the Internet it’s possible to find step-by-step instructions on how to do nearly anything. Practically anything you could ever want to do is right there, so why don’t people do it? If you’ve always wanted to speak Portuguese or play the guitar, why can’t you yet? Why aren’t you working toward that?

It’s because you don’t put in the time? And why don’t most people put in the time? Because they lack the discipline.

All the other pieces are in place for you to do whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do – the last thing is for you to have the control over yourself necessary to follow through with it.

By understanding willpower and obedience, you can do just that.

A Different Way to Look at Willpower

Willpower can be something of a tricky subject depending on how you approach it.

On one hand it’s generally accepted that it’s a finite resource, if you try to exert too much of it you eventually run out and the best way to get more is to exercise it with gradually stronger challenges like a muscle.

On another hand some research would suggest that effect is largely a result of how we perceive things. That would mean the best way to get more willpower is to firmly believe you’ve got more.

What both of these ideas have in common is that they view willpower as the ability to do something in the moment contrary to your innate desires. You want to eat that entire pint of ice cream, but you know it’ll put you over your calorie target for the day so you exert your willpower to not eat it. You want to screw around on Facebook or Reddit instead of getting to work, so you exert your willpower to force yourself to be productive, etc.

This is the common perception of what willpower means, if someone gives in to their momentary desires they’d say they lack the will to resist the temptation.

I think there’s a better way to look at it though. Rather than seeing that as a lack of will, it’s more a lack of obedience.

Willful or Obedient?

As an easy example of what I mean, I’ll use someone who smokes. Let’s call him John.

John, as noted, smokes cigarettes. John would also like to quit. He tells himself he has made the decision to quit, but then a few days later lights up a cigarette and starts smoking. If asked why he’s smoking even though he said he quit, John would attribute this akratic behavior to him not having the will to resist the urge to smoke.

Is that really the case though?

I would argue that it’s John’s will that causes him to smoke at that moment. In this sense your will is that which manifests your desires in the moment. John desired a cigarette and was willful enough to bring that desire to fruition.

So if will is the force that manifests your current desires, why does John’s will cause him to smoke? Isn’t it his desire to quit smoking?

No, actually. At least not in the moment, it’s the desire of his past self to quit smoking. Even then, technically past John didn’t even make a decision to quit smoking, but rather just had an idea that he’d like to quit. What’s the difference?

A decision is defined by action, whereas an idea doesn’t require any. Past John declared that he was going to quit smoking, but didn’t actually take any action at the time. That means he just had an idea about quitting smoking, he left the decision – the action to be taken – up to future John.

Eventually we arrive at John right now who must make a decision, does he bow to the will of past John and refuse to smoke, or does he follow his own will and have a cigarette?

Imagine for a second that rather than John deciding he shouldn’t smoke anymore someone else, his wife for instance, told him to quit. Later that day John finds that he wants to have a cigarette, clearly in this scenario if he has one he’s expressing his own will and if he doesn’t he’s being obedient to the will of his wife.

What then is the difference between that and the struggle between past John and current John?

The issue isn’t that he lacks the will to overcome his desires, it’s that he lacks the discipline to remain obedient to the will of his past self. It’s much harder to see this in decisions we make ourselves, because in general we consider our past selves and our current selves to be a single entity.

In the end, there is no appreciable difference between past John telling current John not so smoke and John’s wife telling John not to smoke. In either case John must either obey and not smoke, or exercise his own will and have a cigarette.

Becoming Disciplined

So if this is the case, shouldn’t we be able to find a model somewhere of people who are more able than most to complete a plan they made in the past irrespective of any desires they have in the present?

As it turns out, we do have an excellent model of this – the military.

People who have gone through military training are often held up as an example of people who have a great deal of self-control, discipline and, in the traditional sense, willpower. They’re considered more able than the common person to accomplish something the set out to do.

However, the military clearly doesn’t operate by encouraging its members to be willful. On the contrary it teaches you to obey the commands given to you nearly without thought. One of the apparent purposes of basic training is to crush recruits and beat them down physically and psychologically until their will is broken. Drill sergeants do not exist to encourage recruits to be willful.

Once your will has been broken down and your instinct is to obey the orders of others, it becomes easy to obey the orders of your past self.

That being the case, if we want to do what we set out to do in the past (get fit, learn a language, finish a project, etc.) than we need to develop military style discipline. The most obvious answer for how to accomplish that – aside from joining the military – is to mimic their methods for instilling discipline in recruits.

The easiest way to start is to choose one small thing to do everyday that you know, in the moment when it comes time to do it, you aren’t going to want to do.

At first this should be something small and insignificant, my personal favorite choice is the freezing cold shower.

Commit right now to taking a freezing cold shower tomorrow morning. Do you know what’s going to happen? Tomorrow you’re going to stand in front of the shower, turn it as cold as it can get, and then you’re probably going to panic.

You know it’s going to be cold. You know it’s going to be awful. You’re going to want to back out, to do it another day, you’re going to tell yourself it’s a stupid idea. At this point you’re either going to be willful and crank the heat back up, or you’re going to do what you said you would and get in that cold shower.

The key here is to obey without giving yourself the chance not to. To condition yourself to ignore that urge to disobey and just jump in the shower. The first day is going to be the worst. After that though, it’ll get easier. Before long there won’t be any struggle at all anymore.

By continually doing exercises like these, starting small and then working on to bigger things, you can eventually overcome your will and develop the discipline to obey your past decisions no matter how badly you want to violate them in the moment.

Once you can do that, you can pretty much accomplish anything you want.

What do you think? Is willpower more about having the strength to ignore your desires, or having the discipline to obey the desires of your past self? Is there a real difference between the two? Let us know in the comments.

Photo Credit: GGVogman

You’re Not Bored – You’re Boring

Yawn by Bark

You’re even boring this poor dog.

There are few things you can say that make me quite as angry as “I’m bored”.

If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you’re in a relatively modernized country and have access to reliable Internet. That single resource means that you have absolutely no excuse to ever consider yourself bored.

Boredom is a unique affliction in that, by definition, you could potentially do anything to fix it.

It’s that reason that I think the real problem when people always find themselves feeling bored is that in reality they’re just boring people.

I’m Bored = I’m Boring

There are a lot of ways to be boring, so I’m not going to outline all of the things that can lead to being a severely boring person. It might be that you’re stuck in a rut, that you’re scared of trying new things, or maybe you’ve just been raised in a way that discouraged expanding your horizons.

There can be lots of causes, but the single common symptom to being a boring person is frequently feeling bored.

If you’re frequently finding yourself saying, “I’m bored,” then you’re probably a pretty boring person. That’s a bad thing. You probably don’t want to be boring. Sure, you can argue that point – but being a boring person means a lot of time spent on mundane, uninteresting things. You’ve only got so much time to spend here in existence (until they finally invent replacement robot parts or something) so in my view you should get the most out of it.

Fighting Boredom

As I mentioned, there are way too many potential causes of being a boring person to recommend courses of action for each. You might need to overcome your fear of new things or figure out how to haul yourself out of your rut or whatever.

There are some easy things you can do right now though to start dealing with the symptoms of being a boring person, namely the boredom itself.

  • Learn Something New – Since we’ve established you’ve got an Internet connection by virtue of you currently being reading this you’ve also got access to hundreds of thousands of free educational materials that are seconds away at every single moment.

    There’s YouTube University, Coursera, edX, and Open Culture to name a few.

    If it comes down to it, you can even resort to the ‘Random Article’ button on Wikipedia.

    If you can genuinely say there’s not a single thing there that interests you in the least then I can’t help you.

  • Make Something – People who make things are interesting too. If you’ve already got a hobby that you’re ‘bored’ with then pick a new one and get to it. It can be something physical like a woodworking project, crocheted amigurumi or counter-culture needlework piece, or something like writing prose, poetry, or a blog post, or drawing or painting something.

    Doing creative things both helps you fight off a boredom and it helps fuel further creative efforts. The more creative things you do, the more creative you wind up being and the less bored and more interesting you wind up being.

  • Limit Exposure to Mindless Things – While having access to something like the Internet is definitely a huge aid in eliminating boredom, it can be a bit of a double edged sword.

    Things like Internet and TV can act kind of like a boredom suppressing drug. It’s easy to fall into mindless TV watching for a few hours and feel like you aren’t bored anymore, but it’s just glossing over the symptoms in the most superficial way. It’s a bandage. Really not even that, because a bandage is actually a little useful.

    You know when you decide to vegetate in front of a TV that you’re still bored, you’re just bored in a distracted way. That’s not the point.

    If you find yourself falling into this kind of trap go in the opposite direction. Go out and do something. Get outside and away from TV and Internet and phones and everything else. Whether that means going somewhere in a city or off into the woods the point is to disconnect a bit and find something to be present in.

These are just a few examples, with things like Project Gutenberg or the expansive Kindle library available to you and all the other resources out there you have no excuse.

Boredom is a choice.

Next time you’re bored get up and do something about it rather than sitting around and moping.

Have any other suggestions for not being so bored or boring anymore? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Bark

7 Life Lessons from Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee by Chris Zielecki

Bruce Lee had a lot of good advice – and not just about martial arts.

It’s no secret – after over a decade of practicing and eventually teaching Jeet Kune Do, and being involved in parkour for nearly as long, Bruce Lee is a huge role model for me.

It’s not just his discipline, martial arts skill and fitness that inspire me though. Bruce Lee was fascinated by philosophy (it’s even an enduring legend he was a philosophy major, although technically he majored in drama) and it shows in his interviews and writing – he had a lot to say on how he best thought to live a good life.

In that spirit I’ve collected seven of his lessons here for you to make your life better.

1. Simplify Everything

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

One of, or arguably the only, foundational tenet of Jeet Kune Do is to keep what’s useful and discard what’s useless.

In Jeet Kune Do it doesn’t matter how much you personally like a certain strike, lock or other technique – if there’s an objectively better, simpler, more efficient way of doing the same thing you ditch the old one and embrace the new. Tradition is subservient to utility.

This is a lot like how the scientific method works. If someone is wrong about something they’re overjoyed to be proven wrong, because it means progress.

You can embrace the same values throughout your life, both in terms of the physical and mental. For starters, an easy way to simplify the physical side of things is to look around at all the stuff you have and ask yourself if trying to go a little more minimalist wouldn’t be a good idea.

When it comes to the mental side of things, embrace the idea that being proven wrong is a good thing.

Stop clinging to old ideas, habits and ways of thinking just because they’re what you’ve always been used to. Stop feeling like you have to save face or get defensive. Hold on to concepts and positions you can legitimately defend but as soon as they’ve been shown to be illogical or that there’s a better way, abandon them without remorse.

Don’t think of your life as a building being built, think of it as a statue being chiseled out of marble – you need to keep chiseling away until you have something beautiful or you’re just going to be left with a chunk of rock.

2. Live for Yourself

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

The more you try to build your life around the expectations of others, the more you set yourself up for unhappiness and disappointment.

Whether it’s feeling like you always have to buy the next best thing or get the latest piece of technology or feeling like you have to follow the standard track of college and a steady job and a house in the suburbs – if it’s not what you really want don’t do it!

I don’t want to go off on a non-conformist rant here, because non-conformity in and of itself is not purely a good thing. I can’t tell you how many people I see on a day to day basis though who seem to be going through the motions because it’s what society, family or whoever expects of them. Figure out what makes you happy and pursue it however you best can.

On a side note, this goes both ways. Don’t try to pressure people into a path they don’t want to follow just because you don’t like it or it’s not what you expected of them.

3. Don’t Wait, Act

“To hell with circumstances, I create opportunities.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

If you’re always waiting around for the right opportunity it will never come.

To paraphrase W.B. Yeats, don’t wait to strike while the iron’s hot – make it hot by striking. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do figure out how to accomplish it and get started. Sure patience is a virtue, and good things do come to those who wait, but better things come to those who get off their asses and get them on their own.

It’s easy to delay things by saying it’s not the right time, or the circumstances just aren’t good right now. Nine times out of ten this is just fear talking. People use this as a way to avoid failure by never trying.

Stop that.

You need to take control of your own life and work toward whatever it is you want. You can’t get where you’re going by standing still, so quit wasting time – shut up and do something

4. Be Mindful and Positive

“As you think, so shall you become.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

Now to clarify here, I’m not talking about any of that ridiculous “law of attraction” stuff. I give everything in The Secret as much credit as I do the Tooth Fairy. If you’d like to make a positive claim about it feel free but I’m going to need some evidence.

That being said, while it isn’t going to magically bring you good fortune (“Accio winning lottery ticket!”), your state of mind will strongly influence your own actions and influence your mood and attitudes.

If you’re always dwelling on how terrible things are, how you’re a failure or not good enough, how you’d love to accomplish some goal but you know it’ll never happen – then you’re going to sabotage your own efforts.

One of the biggest determining factors in whether someone succeeds or fails at a goal is whether or not they give up. When you focus on the positives and keep a good outlook you’re that much more likely to be able to persevere. As long as you don’t quit you’re guaranteed to accomplish your goal eventually.

Well, or die trying, but in that case it won’t really be important to you anymore.

The key is to be mindful of your internal monologue and aim to be positive, supportive and confident.

5. Always Fight Bias

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

I don’t take this to mean that you should be indecisive about everything, that would be a bad idea. What I take from this is that you should not let flawed reasoning, bias and personal opinion color your decision making – if someone or something is objectively right then they’re right, whether you like it or not.

I see this as largely complimentary to point number one. If we allow ourselves to fall into all the common mental traps that lead us to make flawed, biased conclusions then it’s impossible to properly determine and excise the things that are holding us back.

Do your best to approach every conflict objectively and dispassionately. Make a habit of stepping outside of your preconceived notions and looking at issue from the opposite viewpoint of what you instinctively gravitate toward.

A good exercise that I employ is to regularly seek out authorities on a subject who hold a position contrary to my own and read as much of their arguments as I can with an attempt to be as objective as possible.

This encourages you to question your reasons for coming to your own decisions and correct them if they’re faulty.

6. Learn About Yourself Externally

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

We are terrible at coming up with accurate models of ourselves in our own heads.

It’s not necessarily for conscious reasons – people just have a subconscious tendency to picture themselves a certain way and then delude themselves into thinking that’s accurate. It’s very easy to overestimate your good qualities and underestimate the negative things about you because, when it comes to evaluating yourself, you’re by definition the single most biased person in existence.

Instead aim to learn about yourself through observation of your actions and interactions with other people.

You may think you’re a super kind or thoughtful person, but don’t just take your own word for it – critically examine how you treat other people. Are you really as thoughtful as you thought you were?

One of the best judges of a person’s character is to observe how they treat someone or something from whom they have nothing to gain and nothing to fear. You should hold yourself to the same standard in order to determine if you actually exemplify all the traits you desire.

7. Be Yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

I know. Everyone tells you to be yourself.

It bears repeating though, because it’s easy to lose yourself and start acting like someone else. Check every now and again by asking yourself if what you’re doing is what you really want to do or if you’re doing it for the sake of others.

I don’t need to tell you how or why to be yourself, but it’s on you to keep yourself on the right track.

There are way, way more quotes and more lessons from Bruce Lee on how to lead a better life.

Do you agree or disagree with the ones here? Have one you’d really like to add? Share it in the comments!

Photo Credit: Chris Zielecki

How Pain Warps Your Decision Making

Wretched by Piers Nye

An instinct to avoid immediate pain is something we never grow out of.

I do my very best to be in the presence of people who are much smarter than myself as often as possible. One such person, Jonathan Fass, recently posted an interesting thought on Facebook.

Paraphrasing a bit, he asks whether you’d rather have a fingernail torn off or get an unexpected punch in the stomach. He surmises most people would choose the punch – something I agree with. The pain of a blow to the stomach seems mild and temporary compared to the shudder inducing thought of having a nail torn off.

This is extremely irrational though. Tearing a fingernail off, while painful, is not extremely threatening outside of the ever present risk of infection to exposed tissue. A strike to the stomach on the other hand can be deadly. Outside of Jonathan’s example of Harry Houdini there are plenty of other examples of punches to the stomach causing internal bleeding and ruptured organs which are easily fatal.

Even with that information, I think a lot of people would still chance death to avoid the pain of having a fingernail removed. Ask your followers and see. This kind of behavior isn’t just limited to physical pain though, and that’s where it starts to ruin your decision making.

The Power of Pain Avoidance

I’ve written before about some of the mental traps we fall into that stop us from making better decisions. One of the bigger ones is this instinctual inclination to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs.

In studies people have been found to be more motivated by the avoidance of pain than the gain of pleasure. We see this at play in the way a lot of companies structure advertisements and promotions – people are more likely to act in order to avoid losing $5 than they are in order to gain $5.

This is essentially the same type of thinking that leads us to instinctively make the choice above of taking less painful but potentially lethal damage than an extremely painful wound with little chance of permanent damage.

It may seem abstract when talking about it in terms of choosing between a punch and losing a fingernail, but we apply it to every kind of pain and that’s where we get in trouble.

Non-Physical Pain

Imagine these things: quitting a stable but unfulfilling job to pursue a dream, asking out a guy/girl you’ve had a crush on for a long time, talking to strangers in a foreign language in order to learn, and sticking to a strict weightlifting program.

What do all of them have in common?

They all take resolve and willpower to do, because they all have the potential to cause discomfort and they all have an easy out.

It’s scary to quit your job to chase your dream because of the potential for failure and all the perceived pain and discomfort that will come with it. It’s easy to never go talk to that guy or girl to avoid the emotional pain of being rejected. You might decide not to practice a foreign language with someone because of the potential for making painfully embarrassing mistakes. Plenty of people put off working out because of the amount of discomfort they expect it to cause.

This makes no sense.

Like the fingernail and the punch, choosing the option that avoids the potential for immediate discomfort leads to situations with the potential for more severe or long lasting damage.

Sure, it would be uncomfortable right now to drag yourself out of a warm bed extra early and go strain and struggle to get a lifting session in before work. The less painful option right now would be to say ‘screw it’, stay in bed and get some extra sleep.

In ten years though when you’ve got 30 extra pounds hanging of of you, when you’ve been diagnosed with diabetes, further down the road when you have a massive heart attack, was that worth another 30 minutes in bed?

This follows for the other examples too. Is living the rest of your life stuck in a miserable job worth avoiding the potential pain of failing on your first attempt to pursue your dreams?

Is never learning that language you’ve been wanting to learn for however long and missing out on all the experiences and benefits that come along with it worth not facing the immediate pain of an embarrassing mistake or two?

In all of these cases choosing to ignore your instinctual drive to avoid the immediate pain leads to a worse outcome than accepting the immediate discomfort for longer term benefits.

So how do you avoid falling into this way of thinking?

Taking a Step Back

Some people may be tempted to conclude that the best thing then is to go in the opposite direction and always choose the course of action that leads to the most immediate discomfort. Beyond leading to rhabdo stricken Crossfitters this kind of thinking is likely to lead you into as many bad decisions as the opposite way of thinking. The trick is learning not to think in absolutes, but to take a step back and rationally evaluate the potential outcomes on a case by case basis.

Here are a few tips on how you can do that.

  • List Worst Case Scenarios – I recommend a similar tactic when addressing the fear of failure. Sit and write down the absolute worst case scenarios you could foresee coming from each choice. Chances are you’ll find that one of them is not nearly as bad as the other – that’s the choice you should probably make.

  • Get a Second Opinion – If you know your decision making is likely to be biased or compromised, take yourself out of it as much as possible.

    While your bias toward avoiding immediate discomfort will skew your decisions other people are not affected by this bias in regards to making decisions for you. If I’m in a position where I know I’m likely to make bad decisions out of my inclination to avoid something I find uncomfortable I’ll have Caroline consider it and see if her decision differs from mine and why. That way I have an objective viewpoint to help me pick what would be best for me in the long run, not just right this minute.

    Have someone you trust critique your decision whenever you find yourself making it on instinct or feel like your rational thinking might be compromised.

The important thread through both of these is doing what you can to take a step back and be as objective as possible in your decision making. When you understand that you’re likely to make bad decisions based on pain avoidance it’s easier to take deliberate steps to correct it.

Do you have any other tips for correcting or mitigating the effects of this particular bias? Help everyone out and share them in the comments!

Photo Credit: Piers Nye

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