Progression Vs. Position: How to Balance Happiness and Self-Improvement

Round & Round at the Vatican by Andrew E. Larsen

Life is a lot like a big, endless staircase. Is your happiness based on what stair you’re on, or how fast you’re climbing?

Complacency and a fire for constant self-improvement seem to be diametrically opposed.

The drive for self-improvement spurs us on to always be better than we were yesterday. It pushes us to keep fighting, keep training, keep working for that next goal. People who are particularly driven by a desire for self-improvement tend to be very ambitious and the heart of ambition is a hunger to improve or to succeed. That ambition makes a person work hard, but it also ties their mood to their progress. They always want more and they’re often not happy until they get it.

On the other hand you have people with a high sense of complacency. These people are happy with what they’ve got almost no matter where they’re at in life. Their happiness is tied to appreciating what they’ve got rather than with getting something else. This sounds nice in theory, but complacency encourages stasis – if things are fine how they are why should you work for something better? People who are too complacent run the risk of living a life dictated by others rather than the one they actually want to lead.

So how do you find happiness while still retaining your motivation for self-improvement? By focusing on progress rather than position.

A Change in Viewpoint

The main problem with both of these ways of viewing the world, the ambitious person always improving and never happy with where they are and the complacent people who are happy but never improve, is that both of their senses of happiness are tied to their position.

Both derive their sense of worth from where they currently are in their progress through life. They interpret that information differently, the ambitious person is unhappy with their position and the complacent person is overly happy with their position but for both where they are right now is the main concern.

Imagine some people standing on a stair case. Our ambitious person, Ms. A, sees someone on a higher stair than she is. She looks down at the stair she’s on, lower than where she wants to be, and she gets depressed. She’s motivated to climb those stairs to get where she wants to be, but at each step she judges herself by the step she’s standing on at that moment and as a result is never truly happy until she’s standing on the stair she wants to be on.

On the other hand we have our complacent person, Mr. C, standing on another stair near the bottom. He didn’t really choose to be there, and he thinks it’d be nice to be up there at the top of the staircase, but he’s decided he’s happy with where he’s at. He figures he is where he is and he should just be happy with the stair he’s on. He is genuinely happy, but he’ll die there without ever seeing the top of the stairs.

For both of them their happiness is based off of what stair they’re on at that moment. That’s the problem – it’s often framed as a choice between one or the other, ambition or complacency. There’s another option.

Rather than base your happiness on position, you can base your happiness on progression.

Imagine another person on that staircase of success, we’ll call her Ms. Z. Now Ms. Z looks up the staircase and sees people up at the top and wants to be up there too. Unlike Ms. A and Mr. C though she doesn’t base her happiness on what stair she’s on, she bases it on whether or not she’s moving.

As long as Ms. Z is climbing up those stairs, no matter how slow, she’s happy. Like Ms. A she’s motivated to keep progressing, but she doesn’t have all the unhappiness Ms. A gets from not being on the stair she wants to be on. Ms. Z is progressing so she’s happy. In fact she’s just as happy as Mr. C, but unlike Mr. C who will stay on the stair he was placed on his entire life Ms. Z will end up higher up than where she started.

Embracing Momentum

Ms. Z is an example of someone who bases their happiness on progression.

When you concern yourself primarily with whether or not you’re improving rather than how good you are at that moment you get all the motivation of a strong drive to improve with all the in-the-moment happiness that would get embracing a complacent worldview. By embracing the concept of only caring about maintaining that momentum you can be happy and fulfilled feeling while still possessing the impetus to be better each and every day.

So how do you switch from being position focused to progression focused?

The biggest thing is to stop worrying so much about where you are now or where you want to be. Recognize that the only thing that really matters is the present moment and that the only thing you have control of in the present moment is whether you’re making progress toward something or stagnating.

You need to start to shift your values toward the velocity you have in approaching your goals rather than your current position in relation to them. That means that a millionaire who has stopped improving is less successful than a penniless homeless person who’s actively working toward improving their situation.

Once you shift your thinking to fall more in line with progression based value as a preference over position based value you’ll find that success and failure isn’t such a big deal anymore. You won’t feel worthless when you haven’t made it to your goal as long as you’re still moving toward it. Even better you won’t be left with the boring, unfulfilled feeling of sitting on a plateau for your whole life.

Have you made the shift to a progression based value system? Do you think the position based one is better? Do you see things in a completely different way from both? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Photo Credit: Andrew E. Larsen

An Introduction to Speed Reading

Speed Reading by Rachel Strum

Ok, so you won’t be able to read quite that fast.

Speed reading is one of those things that, like sleep hacking, people with an interest in optimizing their lives tend to gravitate toward.

It’s easy to see why. People who are interested in optimizing their lives tend to be in love with self-improvement. The best path to self-improvement is learning. Learning means you need to absorb information. There are physical limits to the transmission and comprehension of sound and the comprehensible framerate of our vision has its limits as well – video and audio can only be sped up so much before we hit a wall. That leaves text as the most efficient medium for ingesting new information.

The thing is speed reading has a lot of unfounded cultural memes attached to it including being a scam, being an interesting but non-useful parlor trick like juggling or as being a magic thing existing only in the realm of the gifted or super-nerds.

It’s none of those. It’s not difficult and, though it does take practice, anyone can learn how to do it.

Reading Vs. Speed Reading

Personally, I don’t like to think of it as speed reading.

Calling it speed reading sets it aside as the exceptional thing, something more than regular reading. I don’t see it that way. The reason speed reading improves reading speed so much isn’t that it’s a trick or skill, it’s that the way we’re taught to read is often inefficient.

Speed reading is not exceptional, standard reading practices are just deficient. It’s more like reading vs. slow-reading. Learning and practicing speed reading is essentially just systematically breaking yourself of all the habits you picked up through a lifetime of being taught and of practicing a severely inefficient way to read.

The average reader reads at around 200 words per minute (wpm) with a comprehension of roughly 60%. Someone who enjoys reading and reads a lot tends to average in the neighborhood of 400 wpm with a comprehension in the 70-75% range. A casual tested reading speed for me is 830 wpm with a comprehension rate of 82%.

You can search for ‘reading speed test’ to try some out if you’re curious where you fall. Not only do I read comfortably four times as fast as the average person and twice as fast as avid readers but I also remember more of what I read. If I skim and speed up my tracking I can trade some comprehension for a bump up to the 1,000 wpm range.

I’m not telling you this to brag, just as an example of what you can get up to by unlearning the poor reading system you were taught as a kid. There are many, many people who make my 830 look glacial. These aren’t exactly scientifically rigorous tests either – I’d fairly assume my true reading speed may be at around the 600 wpm range. Either way, it’s a fair increase over the 200 wpm average.

Now I’m not going to try to make you a speed reader by the end of this article – I just want to give a basic outline of some of the things necessary for learning to read properly. You should note too that the goal of speed reading isn’t to permanently blow through reading material as fast as possible 100% of the time. Sometimes, particularly with fiction, I like to slow way down and enjoy things or even read particularly well constructed passages multiple times. The goal is to give you the tools to scale your reading speed up and down as the situation demands it.

So what kinds of things do you need to change in order to stop holding yourself back?

1. Stop Sub-vocalizing

What’s sub-vocalizing? It’s where you ‘hear’ every word you read inside your head as you read it and often unconsciously move your speech muscles to form the words without actually producing sounds. Just about everyone does it and it really needs to stop.

I suspect in addition to the reduction in cognitive load it provides the tendency to sub-vocalize stems from the fact that when we’re taught to read the standard procedure is to start by reading things aloud. Most kids are encouraged to read aloud and sound things out as they go, which isn’t such a bad way to start but it should be corrected once that foundation is built.

The reason sub-vocalization is such a big issue is that you can process text a lot faster than you can produce the sounds that accompany it. Sub-vocalizing every word you read binds your reading speed to your speaking speed. That’s too slow.

Some people may have a hard time imagining interpreting text without hearing it in their heads but you probably do it at times without realizing. Most people, for example, don’t hear the word ‘stop’ in their head when they see a stop sign. Even so, they get the information it’s intended to provide just the same. An easy way to try to read without sub-vocalizing, particularly if you’ve got it bad and actually move your mouth a lot, is to open and close your mouth when you read.

Try silently making an over-exaggerated ‘bababababa’ motion with your mouth like a fish out of water while you’re reading. You’ll probably still hear the words in your head, but it helps to get over the habit of actually moving your muscles to make the words without producing sound.

Not all sub-vocalization is bad, as it does correlate to an increase in comprehension. If you’re reading for speed don’t sub-vocalize, if you’re reading for memorization read aloud. You can also work on sub-vocalizing faster since there is a definite trade off in more speed to less comprehension when you don’t sub-vocalize. I should note too it’s impossible to completely stop sub-vocalizing physiologically. It’s just how we’re wired. Trying to fight it though helps to train you do it more efficiently.

2. Use a Pointer

You may think your eyes just scan straight across the line of words when you’re reading but in reality they twitch both forward and backward a handful of words the entire time you’re reading. You don’t notice while you’re doing it, but if you hook up a camera to someone’s eyes and watch them read you can see it happen.

In general, this is extremely inefficient. The best way to train your eyes to stick to what you want them to do is to use a pointer to track along the text at the speed you want to read. You can use your finger, a pen, whatever you want. The point is to have something to track along the text as a lead for your eyes. It’s inconclusive from my research whether or not this provides a tangible benefit to reducing the saccades – it may be the benefit stems more from having a tangible pacing object to keep you moving along smoothly.

At first this is probably going to slow you down since you’re not used to it. That’s ok. Keep at it and eventually it won’t feel so strange. Once you’re comfortable with it you can start using your pointer to go a little faster and encourage your eyes to track more quickly. Over time training your eyes this way makes it easier to scan quickly without losing as much information.

It’ll feel silly at first, but this is definitely a key piece of reading at your potential speed rather than the standard slow pace.

3. Don’t Be Linear

There’s nothing inherently wrong with reading linearly, but you shouldn’t feel it’s a requirement. Jumping around, skimming and hitting bolded information, bullet points and headers first is a good way to preview things and get an idea for what key concepts to look for when you get into the meat of that section.

Some texts will make this easier than others. Textbooks tend to be fairly scanable, and I do my best to highlight key parts of my articles to increase their scanability. Fiction on the other hand is going to be a touch harder, although I see few reasons outside of school reading assignments why you would want to zip through a work of fiction as fast as possible.

The more you have an idea of what information is likely to be important the more you can get key parts and skim through the things that are less relevant. Additionally by jumping around, working backward or quickly skimming you can skip over a lot of the grammatical and structural filler that aren’t always necessary for comprehension.

Learning to skim well takes practice. It feels a little like cheating, but the point here isn’t to just skip stuff for the sole sake of going faster – that leads to terrible comprehension rates and you’re not gaining anything. Learning to skim involves getting a feel for how to pick out the key bits of information while ignoring the extraneous bits.

Speed reading is, at it’s core, an enhanced skimming strategy. You’re trying to quickly absorb the relevant and important information while sorting out the extra stuff.

4. Actually Practice Reading

I realize this sounds counter-intuitive, but you shouldn’t practice reading while you’re actually reading.

What I mean by this is that if you want to actually read something for some purpose other than specifically improving your reading speed and comprehension rates, only read it for that purpose – don’t try to work on your speed reading at the same time.

Speed reading is a skill. As a skill, it needs to be practiced to become better at it. The best way to practice is by doing it deliberately and purposefully. You wouldn’t try to practice guitar and play a show at the same time. Don’t try to read something and practice at the same time either.

You should certainly apply your new reading skills to whatever it is you’re reading, but if you’re reading it for the information read it for the information. Set aside additional time with either that text or an entirely different one where your whole goal is to push the limits of your reading speed.

This is one thing which I think separates people who successfully improve their reading speed and comprehension levels from people who try it a bit and decide it’s stupid and doesn’t work. If you want to be able to do it you have to invest time in deliberate practice.

Additionally there’s a strong correlation to reading speed and vocabulary / word comprehension. In other words, the more quickly your brain can identify more lexical items the more quickly you can read. So boosting your vocabulary as much as possible can do as much for improving your reading speed as the techniques listed above.

These are the basic foundational blocks of speed reading. If you practice all of them you can see a lot of improvement in a relatively short time, just remember that speed reading is a tool and is appropriate in some areas and not terribly useful in others – knowing when to use it most effectively to learn is just as important as being able to do it in the first place.

Any speed readers out there have anything to add? Things that have worked well or poorly for you? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Rachel Strum

Why You Need to Stop Waiting for Your Hero Moment

Pixelblock Danger by Cold Storage

It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!

Ah, the Hero Moment.

It’s so endemic to our storytelling, so ubiquitous and pervasive in everything – movies, TV shows, books, video games – that most people don’t even notice it even as it shapes their own understanding and expectations about their own lives. The Hero Moment meme seems built in to our way of thinking, whether genetic or just as a result of socio-cultural forces, and it directly interferes with our ability to do what we need to do in order to have the highest chance of success.

In other words, the Hero Moment is poisoning the way you think about life and making it harder for you to achieve your long term goals.

We want to stop that.

What’s The Hero Moment?

The Hero Moment is that standard moment in fiction where some huge, defining, life-changing thing happens to the protagonist thrusting them into the main issue of the story. It’s usually accompanied by finding out there’s something special about the protagonist.

Harry Potter finding out he’s a wizard is a perfect example. The beginning of just about any Zelda game is another. Meeting Ben Kenobi was Luke Skywalker’s Hero Moment. The arrival of River on Serenity changed all those character’s course. The common thread here is one big thing happens that changes the protagonist’s life forever.

It’s always a single drastic event.

That’s important, because it’s the main reason this particular meme is so subversive to the way we approach our goals. Life doesn’t work that way.

The Million Dollar Idea Myth – Waiting for a Boat at the Airport

When it comes to assessing your future and your goals, people put way too much emphasis on looking for a single, life-changing moment and severely under-emphasize the importance of consistent, grueling day-in day-out work.

That’s so freaking important I’m going to say it again.

In bold and italics.

People severely overestimate the value of a single life-changing moment and severely underestimate the importance of persistent, daily, habitual work.

People are looking for that Hero Moment. People are waiting for that moment when they’ll hit it big. In the abstract they’re waiting to have their own Hagrid come and tell them they’re the Chosen One. In the real world, this manifests itself as the myth of the million dollar idea.

Everyone is looking for that million dollar idea, that entrepreneurial lottery ticket that’ll turn them into the next Steve Jobs or Jeff Bezos. They think it’s just like the Hero Moment – one minute they’re sitting there in their boring day job and then BAM they’re hit with a great idea, flip their desk and run out to make their fortune. People expect there to be something out there that’ll make them hit it big.

That’s just not how it works though.

Success takes work. Steve Jobs failed a ton, and pulled long hours to get where he got. Jeff Bezos didn’t just think up Amazon one day and go pick up his billionaire license – it took hard work every single day. It took struggle.

People don’t think of that though. They don’t sit and dream about how they’re going to lose sleep and work hard and devote 100% of their life to this big goal of theirs, they expect it to fall down their chimney like Santa Claus and be handed to them all nicely wrapped and ready to go.

It’s not surprising this is the model in media, after all it makes for a much shorter, sexier narrative. Hard work is perceived as so boring in most stories it gets glassed over in a couple minutes with a quick montage. Having a character spend ten long years of struggle to become a hero is not nearly as convenient as having Dumbledore show up at your house with some dwarves or being given the single most powerful piece of jewelry on the planet by your uncle.

Overcoming the Poison of Inaction

The reason this all is so bad for us is because it encourages us to sit around and wait for success to fall into our laps.

Success is not a well-trained puppy that will come whenever you call it. Success is a rabid, steroid filled grizzly bear on meth with a rocket launcher – if you want to capture it you’re in for a fight.

Sitting around forever trying to dream up this million dollar hit-it-big idea and expecting it to just come to you is wasting your time. You’ll never get anywhere doing that, and even if you do actually come up with an idea, statistically speaking it’s probably going to fail.

The way people finally succeed and get to a point where they’re living a fulfilling life that they actually want to be living is by putting in the hours every single day, no matter what, and failing over and over and over again until their sheer persistence finally gets them through.

Unlike all the fictional hero stories, this is how it works in the real world. Look at just about any biography of any extremely successful person and you know what common theme will be – lots of hard work and even more failures and an attitude of not giving up until they get where they wanted to be.

That’s the kind of attitude you need to cultivate in order to be successful.

You need to stop waiting for some big thing to happen and you need to start putting in the effort every single day to make something happen. Don’t focus too much on one area, try lots of stuff. If you’re having trouble putting in the hours each day, find some way to make yourself accountable until you’ve developed it into a habit.

In the end it’s going to be this attitude that gets you through, not waiting around for your radioactive spider to come along and chomp you into success.

Have you fallen into the trap of waiting around for your Hero Moment or your big Million Dollar Idea? How’d you get out of it? What are some tricks you’ve used to build a good daily work habit? Help us out and share with everyone in the comments!

Photo Credit: Cold Storage

No One Cares Who You Are, Only What You Do

Car Flip by Alex Cockroach

The world doesn’t care if you’re a nice guy, can you help these people or not?

Imagine for a moment that you’re walking down a quiet street minding your own business when a car driven by a distracted teenager veers around the corner and up onto the sidewalk and clips you (don’t text and drive kids).

You tumble through the air and hit the ground in a heap a few yards away and the teen speeds off. You’re a bloody mess, and are barely hanging on to consciousness when you see a stranger running towards you. He runs up to you and kneels down.

“Wow, you’re really messed up,” he says. “Your one leg’s popped out of its socket, want me to put it back for you?”

“Are… are you a doctor?” you ask.

“No. But I’m a really nice guy.”

Even with tunnel vision setting in you manage a pretty good ‘What the hell’s wrong with you’ look. “If you’re not a doctor can you at least call an ambulance?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “Nope. Sorry. I’m super honest though, and I have a great sense of humor. Oh! I’m a great father too!”

It’s at this point you use the last of your ebbing strength to grab him by the shirt with both hands and pull your broken husk to his face to scream “I don’t care! Do something to help me!”

Actions Speak Louder

It may seem like an extreme example, but society and everyone you meet is the accident victim bleeding out on the street and you’re the guy running up to help.

Everyone needs something. The question is whether or not you’re able to provide that something. If you are then you’re useful, if not – well then in general no one’s really going to care about you.

If that seems harsh to you it’s for two reasons. The first is that it is harsh. Deal with it. The second is that modern culture as a whole has drifted in the direction of pretending to value states over actions. People tend to judge their value based on what they are rather than what theydo.

Not sure if you do too? Ask yourself really quick what makes you so great, why anyone else should care about you. If you’re like most people you default to states of being over actions. You’ll say things like, “I’m nice, I’m funny, I’m a hard worker, I’m generous” etc. When you should be saying things like, “I tell great jokes, I donate 10% of my income to charity and I make a mind-exploding grilled cheese sandwich”.

Everyone needs something. This doesn’t have to be anything huge – they might just need a hug or a little bit of support. Either way there’s something they need and your value to them hinges entirely on your ability to provide things that they need. It doesn’t matter if these are things they know they need or not, just that you are able to provide something of value via your actions.

Learning to Walk Your Talk

If you realize that you fall into this category of people who emphasize states over actions, if you’re the useless guy running up to the accident victim with nothing at all to offer but assurances you’re a nice person – you need to change the way you approach the world.

After all, what do those states even mean if they’re not backed up by actions?

Are you a nice guy if all you ever do is think nice thoughts? If you had two friends and one of them helped you move, like physically picked up your couch and put it in the truck, and the other one just thought really nice thoughts about helping you move, who would you actually consider to be the nice person?

Before you start insisting that all the good traits about yourself you listed when I asked you why anyone should care you exist are backed up by concrete actions – are they?

As a result of this swing toward the ‘it’s who you are inside that counts’ bullshit a lot of people just go on making reaffirmations to themselves that they’re funny, or a nice person, or whatever. Then when you ask them what they actually do that’s so funny, or nice or anything else all you get back is a blank stare and lots of ‘ums’.

So stop thinking about yourself in those terms. Understand that you are what you do.

You are. I don’t care about your hipster, post-postmodernist, feel-good notions of internally derived self-worth. You are what you do. That doesn’t have to mean you are what you do for a living necessarily, but you are a reflection and direct product of your actions and vice versa. So act like it.

Figure out who you want to be and go out and do the things that the person you want to be would do. Change your identity by changing your actions and your actions will in turn reshape your identity.

If you’re not sure who you want to be, pick a new skill – cooking, parkour, speaking a new language, making toothpick sculptures of ducks – it really doesn’t matter what. Pick something and get really, really good at that thing. Good enough to make people take notice. Good enough that people are impressed.

Once you’ve done that once, make it a habit. Learn something else. You have plenty of lives to do it in, so start shifting your way of thinking from trying to be things to doing things. You’ll lead a much better life that way.

Have anything you’d like to add? Think I’m wrong and it does matter that you’re a super nice guy because it’s what your mom told you growing up? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Alex Cockroach

Getting Away With Murder & Living 14 Lives

Post begins below this fantastic and relevant comic.

SMBC - 20120902

Read this, then go open up smbc-comic.com in another tab.

While all that business about every one of your cells being replaced every seven years isn’t entirely true, people do tend to go through major changes in their lives in cycles of seven years or so. Think about your own life broken down into 7 year chunks. How different were you at 7, 14, 21, 28, 35, 42, 49, 56 and so on?

Beyond the fact that we tend to change in tastes and personality every 7 years, we also tend to refresh our social networks every septennial. That’s not to say you completely abandon your old friends for new ones every seven years, but people tend to replace a majority of them and your primary friends shift. Add on to that fact the general guideline that it takes roughly seven years or so on average to master a new skill or profession and you wind up with what almost amounts to a brand new person every seven years.

I think that’s absolutely fantastic.

Your 14 Lives

Assuming you live to be 100 years old, broken into seven year increments, you’ll get to live a total of fourteen lives. If we cut out the first seven years since a lot of that time is spent getting comfortable in your own skin and even bring your life expectancy down a bit to be less optimistic you still have about 11 lives to make use of.

Eleven opportunities to completely reinvent yourself. Eleven opportunities to start over fresh and be the person you want to be. Eleven opportunities to go try something new and crazy knowing that after seven years you can ditch that and try something else.

Isn’t that exciting?

In general this is a process that you’ll go through on your own, whether you intend to or not. No matter what you do you’re going to change and it’ll probably happen in roughly seven year increments and even if you fight it, you’re only going to delay the inevitable.

What’s worse is that, much like dreading and fussing over and denying the coming of your eventual real demise is only going to make the time you’ve got here right now less enjoyable, worrying and dreading over your septennial resurrection or trying to deny it completely will only taint the time you’ve got now.

Rather than dread these septenni-deaths, embrace them. Make the most out of them. The way I see it I’m not interested in just letting myself die and be reborn every seven years, I take it upon myself to purposefully and intentionally murder my former self every seven years in order to be reborn the way I want.

Murder As a Form of Self-Improvement

Most people have no idea who they are.

I genuinely believe that. I really think that the vast majority of people have less of a notion of who they are, who they really are than the people around them do, because they never think to actually sit down and ask themselves, “Who the hell am I?”

That’s really sad to me, because not only do I think it takes a lot of the person’s self-determination away from them (how can you make informed decisions about where you want your future to go if you don’t even know who you are?) I also think it leads to an extreme lack of fulfillment. You have to know what you want to find a fulfilling life and that’s exponentially difficult if you don’t have a handle on your true self.

The septennial life cycle allows for a golden opportunity to closely examine who you are, who you really are, and change the parts you don’t like anymore.

These little deaths allow you to not only ask yourself the existentially important question, “Who the hell am I?”, but it also allows you to ask yourself the more important question practically, “Who the hell do I want to be?”

Because of this I relish these opportunities. I see them as an opportunity to murder my old self and become someone completely new.

Now, when I say murder that doesn’t mean you have to hate your old self. In fact I find that kind of attitude to be generally negative. I just use that term to emphasize the fact that I think it should be a directed, guided, intentional process. You’re putting your former self in the ground. Chapter closed. Moving on.

Making the Most of Your 11 Lives

Given the septennial nature of these mini-deaths I think it’s important not to squander them – they take too long to come around again to be wasteful with. To that end here are some things I think can help you make the most of your phoenixian transitions.

  • Let Go of Unfinished Business – Dwelling on your past life after it’s over is counter-productive. You’re not a ghost, so just let go. Even if you were really great at something in the past or there was a part of your life you loved that’s gone for one reason or another it’s best to just let it go. There’s a reason the roots for the word ‘nostalgia’ mean ‘old wounds’.

    Instead, focus on the boundless opportunities that lie ahead of you. The old things were great, but they’re gone and not coming back. Reliving past glory in your head is living in fiction. Turn your attention to all the lives you’ve got ahead of you instead. Think about all the possibilities and the great things you could do. Then go out and do them.

  • Don’t Cling to Life – Just because you’ve done something one way for the past seven years, for this whole lifetime, doesn’t mean you should refuse to let it go. There are certainly things you can choose to let carry over into your new life, but don’t artificially prolong the old one.

    Putting yourself on septennial life support because you’re scared to let yourself die is a natural reaction. Death is scary, even if it’s symbolic. Don’t fear the unknown though, embrace it. The unknown is potential. The unknown is a promise that there might be something more, something better. You can never improve in anything if you stay with your comfort zone, so step out of it and let yourself die – or even murder yourself on purpose – and get on with the process of being reborn as someone better.

  • Live Each Life Intentionally – Just letting yourself die and be reborn is good, but leaving the process unguided leaves so much potential on the table. Harness that potential by guiding the process as much as possible. Ask yourself during this seven year transition period what you like about yourself, who you really are and who you want to be.

    List all the things you dislike about yourself and all the things you love about yourself, list all the things you want to do or have always wished you could learn or try, then figure out all the things you can do to embrace the good things, chase your dreams and abandon everything about yourself you no longer like. Make it a purposeful, intentional process.

    This isn’t necessarily an easy thing. You may have to cut out old friends who are leading you down paths you don’t want to take, you may have to make big changes in your career or habits or routine.

    It’s all worth it though since it grants you the opportunity to live an entirely brand new life, chase your own destiny and master something you’ve always wished you could do.

Near Limitless Possibilities

The key principle of the idea of septennial lifespans is, determinism and social mobility aside, you have access to a near limitless amount of potential.

You don’t have to feel constrained by your current life. If you’re feeling unfulfilled and bored with life, if you feel like you’re missing out on something or chasing a goal you don’t really care about, that’s fine! You have the opportunity to write a brand new chapter, really a brand new book, every seven years. Bury the life you hate and rebuild the one you want to live atop its grave.

Have you gone through any big septennial life changes? Have any other tips you’d like to add to make the process more beneficial or efficient? Leave a comment and hare it with us! While you’re at it, go leave a friendly comment over at SMBC too, or pick up a prettier poster form of the comic above – they deserve it!

Photo Credit: Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

26 Lessons from a Quarter Century of Failures, Successes and Troublemaking

26 by Katherine McAdoo

I’ve certainly more than 26 things in 26 years, but these are some of the more important ones.

I am 26 years old – and it terrifies me.

It terrifies me because I recognize that my life is at least a quarter over. Sure I might get hit by bus tomorrow, but even if I have a good run I can’t reasonably expect to make it much past 100. So I’m a quarter done. I’m a quarter done and that terrifies me because I feel like I should be further along in my goals toward achieving the life I want to live.

I know, I know – people will say to calm down and enjoy my life as it is. To be happy with what I’ve got. I am, to be honest, and this shouldn’t be seen as a complaint. While grateful for everything I’ve got I hate complacency. I’m an ambitious person, whether you apply that word as praise or as an insult, so complacency is anathema to me. You can be simultaneously grateful for what you have yet hungry to accomplish more and that is the terribly uncomfortable place I find myself sitting in now.

So – both to assist those who find themselves younger (or older) than myself and yet to seize their ideal life, and for the entirely more selfish purpose of assuaging my own dread that I’ll find myself twenty-six years hence with my goals still unachieved – I’ve collected a list of 26 lessons I’ve learned over my time spent circling the Sun.

1. Everyone Has an Opinion on What’s Right for You – You Don’t Have to Accept It

Everyone, from your friends and your family to complete strangers and society itself, is going to have a strong opinion on what you should do with your life. In my experience it’s usually a lot of bullshit. That’s not to say in the case of those close to you they don’t have your best interests in mind – when your parents push you toward a certain lifestyle they probably are doing it out of love.

It’s also not to say all opinions or advice are wrong, if you’re a crack addict and people tell you to stop that’s definitely a good (if extreme) example of advice you should take. The problem is when you don’t think about the advice you get and just follow it blindly. You go to college, find a job that you’re complacent with and dig in for an uneventful, unfulfilled life following the script society wrote for you. You spend your whole life fishing only to realize far too late that you never wanted fish in the first place.

Take every bit of advice you get with a healthy dose of skepticism. Judge each on its merits for you and then write your own story. You only get one life, don’t waste it living someone else’s narrative.

2. If You Aren’t Pissing People Off, You’re Not Living Boldly Enough

People who create, people who follow their own path, people who do things on their own terms, they inevitably piss people off. There are lots of reasons for this ranging from people just being upset that you’re challenging their beliefs to being jealous that you’re actually doing what you want while they’re still dancing to the unfulfilling tune everyone else has been following. Great things piss off small people.

That means that if you want to do great things you should expect to piss some people off.

There’s two lessons really from this realization because not only does it mean you shouldn’t let the pissed off people get to you, but it also means if you aren’t pissing people off you’re probably not being loud enough. That’s not to say loud in an obnoxious, in-your-face kind of way, but loud in the sense that you’re doing your own thing proudly and don’t care what anyone thinks. If people aren’t pissed off at you then you might need to find something else even greater to pursue.

3. If You’re Comfortable You Aren’t Moving Fast Enough

This ties strongly into the above point – in general if you’re reasonably comfortable you’re probably not moving fast enough. We just don’t learn well inside our comfort zone.

That’s not to say you should be hurtling through life in a stressed out ball of manic inertia, but you should be just outside your comfort zone. You shouldn’t be ripping your hair out, but there should be that tiny bit of pressure edging you on to do just a little more, to go just a little faster. That tiny bit of stress is what’s going to keep you improving throughout your life and keep you from stagnating.

4. Fear Can Be Healthy, but Don’t Let it Control You

I’m not going to tell you to not be afraid of anything, or to ignore all of your fears – they’re there for a reason in the general sense and definitely do serve a strong purpose in keeping you from doing stupid things and getting hurt.

The problem is most people’s fear is seriously overactive.

People wind up terrified of any sort of loss or temporary discomfort, so they sit in their same place their entire life making excuses and resenting their complacency only to die unfulfilled and secretly miserable. If anything you should be scared of that!

You should always acknowledge your fears, because they may be helping you avoid something stupid, but don’t let them rule you. Look your fears in the eye, judge them, and if it turns out they were less lion and more housecat then give them a pat on the head, step right over them and go do something great. You own your own fears, not the other way around, so act like it damn it.

5. Aim for Big Things

I absolutely hate the saying, “Aim for the Moon because even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”. I’m sorry Mr. Stone, you were a great philanthropist and all but your saying is repeated way too much and it belies an extreme ignorance of astronomy.

That being said, I begrudgingly accept the premise. Your goals should be big enough to scare the hell out of you. Aiming for small, achievable things is a great way to build up to a much bigger goal, but if all you ever go for long term are the little achievable things you’re never going to get anywhere.

Big, ambitious, mildly insane goals are the most motivating and will provide the most inspiration for you to actually get out there and do them. There’s an inherent drive to chasing something that seems impossible not present when you only go for things you think you can do. Besides, that’s kind of self-denigrating isn’t it? Don’t sell yourself short, you can do great things so go out and actually do them.

6. You’ll Become the People Around You, Choose Wisely

No matter how much I tell you to ignore what everyone else tells you about how you should live your life, the fact is you’re going to wind up a lot like the people you hang out with. It’s unavoidable. I’m fairly staunchly anti-conformist but even I’ll start adopting the traits and mannerisms of those I surround myself with.

So what do you do about it?

Rather than fight it (you’ll lose), break out some social Aikido and turn that unavoidable fact into a benefit rather than a pitfall. Instead of worrying about being dragged down by people with habits, goals and lifestyles contrary to your own surround yourself with those living the life you want to live.

If you want to be fit, hang out with fit people. If you want to be an entrepreneur hang out with other entrepreneurs. You don’t necessarily have to ditch your old friends (though if they’re being that big of a drag on your life it might not be such a bad thing), you just have to find other people to be around who act as a positive force in your life.

7. Always Be Looking for Ways to Help People

The best way to find meaning in your own life is to help create meaning in the lives of others. Living a completely free life where you have enough passive income that you barely have to work and essentially have the funds to do whatever you want whenever you want doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happy. You can have everything you think you want in life and still lack meaning.

So find ways to help people.

Whether that means volunteering somewhere, giving to charity or creating something awesome that helps people finding some way to make other people’s lives better will add a lot to your own. Beyond the general altruism thing, there is a self-centered side of making a rule of helping people – the more you help others the more they’ll be happy to help you.

That’s not to say you should help people just so they’ll owe you a favor, people can usually tell when you’re lending a hand for purely selfish reasons. The point is just that when you try to do a little something everyday to help others just for goodness of helping people out it’ll come back to you one way or another for your own benefit.

8. Things Are Easier the Less You Worry

Spending time worrying is pointless and wasteful. Worrying gives you something to do, but it’ll never actually help you accomplish anything. It consumes your attention and, unlike fear which can sometimes be a positive force, worry only leads to distraction, lack of action and bad decisions.

Stop worrying.

Things can be broken down into two categories, things that are under your control and things that are not under your control. People tend to spend a lot of time worrying about both which is extra pointless. Worrying, on its own, is a waste of your time. Worrying about things that are not in any way under your control, things which you cannot change, means that you are wasting time you could be spending addressing things you can change fretting about something you’re powerless to affect.

Even worrying about things you can affect is a waste because you could be spending that time taking action. If you have an hour to spend doesn’t it make more sense to spend that hour fixing the problem or taking action to avoid or correct something rather than spending an hour wringing your hands and fussing about it.

Spending your time worrying about something you can’t change just distracts you from fixing the things you can change and worrying about things you can change is like standing on train tracks pulling your hair out because you see a train coming – stop worrying and just step off the tracks.

9. Systems Will Always Beat Motivation

I have to give the personal training department head at the gym I’m working at right now some credit for this one, so Chab if you’re reading this – thanks.

It doesn’t matter how motivated you are, it doesn’t matter how diligent you think you are in whatever it is you’re trying to do, if you don’t have systems in place to make sure you’re doing it you’re going to fall short eventually. What do I mean by systems? Systems are things that are external to you that force you to do whatever needs to be done everyday to keep you on track.

Things like to-do lists, Seinfeld chains and daily schedules are all examples of systems that ensure that you’re taking the little steps you need everyday to achieve your bigger goals.

People who are successful inevitably wind up with a ton of things on their plate to juggle, usually on a daily basis. If you don’t have systems in place to keep you in line something somewhere is going to slip. Making sure you have the right systems in place will take a lot of the human error element out of your chances of reaching your goals.

10. Be a Little Better Every Single Day

If there were something of a common theme among all of my lessons or pieces of advice, I’d say it would probably be to never stagnate. I firmly believe that, given the severely limited amount of time we have here, we should do our best to get the most out of it. To that end I think what opens up the most opportunities to get the most out of life is to constantly be improving yourself.

That means that every day you should go to bed just a little better in some way or at some thing than you were when you went to bed the previous evening. This can mean you’re a little better at a skill, a little kinder, a little more relaxed, whatever. The point is to always be improving – that’ll lead to a better life and better experiences. Not to mention self-improvement is fulfilling.

11. Take Time to Play

While I stand by my conviction that you should work to improve yourself every single day, that doesn’t mean you should spend every single day working yourself to the bone. Go out and play. Not only is it good for you mentally and emotionally it’s also good for you physically (provided you go out and move).

Try to always make it some kind of physical play if you can – it’s nice now and again to just chill out and play some video games but physical play, getting up and actually moving, is going to be a lot better for you in every way. Go outside and play a game with friends, or go try some parkour or go hiking or something.

Don’t work so much that you neglect your need to have a little fun.

12. Don’t Settle for a Complacent Life

You might be comfortable. You might have a stable job, no real financial worries, a nice house and a healthy family. You might look around at your life and say, “Yeah, this is good enough I guess.”

But there’s a big difference between ‘good enough’ and ‘absolutely fantastic’.

There’s a difference between waking up each morning, flopping out of bed filled with early morning indifference and thinking to yourself, “Well, it’s time for another day,” and leaping out of bed totally pumped yelling, “Hell yeah it’s another day! Let’s do this!” If you want to crawl back in bed in the morning in dread of the coming day rather than jump out of it in anticipation of what’s to come, something is wrong.

Your life should be so great you wake up before your alarm because you just can’t wait to get the day started. If you’re just trudging along in a fog of complacency because you’re comfortable enough then something needs to change. Don’t settle. Make up your own mind how you want your life to be and then go out and get it.

13. Prioritize

How you prioritize things makes a big, big difference in your overall chance of succeeding. I’ve always liked to follow the 80/20 principle since it seems to hold true the majority of the time.

When you know what you want you can focus on the things that will do the most to get you there and ignore the things that are going to give you minimal returns on your time and energy. The smarter you are about your prioritization the more efficiently you can work and the more progress you can make. This also means recognizing when certain things need to be avoided. Is watching four hours of TV a night really a priority? Cut out the things that aren’t helping you and focus on the ones that are.

14. Embrace Failure, but Don’t Set Yourself Up for It

Failing is by far the best way to succeed.

That may sound crazy, but it’s true. You should love to fail. Everyone who’s ever been successful is successful because they’ve failed again, and again, and again and learned from each and every one of them. They try things, fall down, and then get back up and figure out what went wrong so they can do it better next time.

Take note though that this doesn’t mean you should set yourself specifically to fail. Setting yourself up to fail intentionally or to never try at all makes you worse than a failure. Accept failure and be ready for it, but don’t take a dive on something just because you’re too scared of what might happen.

15. Travel

Travel is one of the best things in life. Particularly travel overseas – the ability to meet a much wider variety of people, experience diverse and varied cultures, broaden your viewpoints and be confronted with ideas and customs you may have never considered is invaluable.

You don’t have to give up everything and become a digital nomad, but I assert that everyone should experience travel to a foreign land at least once during their lifetimes. I guarantee once you’ve gone abroad once you’ll itch to travel more.

16. Read as Much as You Can

Reading is another one of the best things in life, because it affords almost all of the benefits of travel in a much more compact if less grand package. Reading and reading often, both fiction and non-fiction, exposes you to so many opportunities.

Reading not only makes you more intelligent by providing direct information about things but also makes you a better person by exposing you to a wide variety of human experiences. It puts you in the shoes of thousands of characters and makes you examine their decisions, motivations and actions. It leads you to reflect on yourself and your own actions, and to consider that some people might think differently than you do. Best of all it’s just plain fun and relaxing.

If there was one thing out of this whole list I would like every single person younger than me to take to heart, it would be that they should read as often as possible. The world would be a much better place.

17. Don’t Worry so Much About Accumulating Stuff

While it would be hypocritical of me to vociferously inculcate upon you the rule that others’ prescriptions for your happiness should be viewed critically and then turn around and declare a particular path the wrong way to True Happiness ™ I’m essentially about to do just that.

I’ll at least include the caveat that I may be wrong – but I think that trying to find happiness by accumulating a bunch of things is just not going to work. If you’re in the U.S. this is kind of the default modality for how to live a happy life. You have to buy the latest gadgets, own a nice car and a big house. You need to constantly be consuming in order to fill that nebulous void you feel.

It usually doesn’t actually fill that void though, and you just wind up cramming more and more stuff in there until you die without ever finding happiness. That sucks. Stop worrying so much about gathering junk and try to view things a bit more minimalistically. Chase experiences in your pursuit of happiness not objects.

18. Live Right Now, not Yesterday or Tomorrow

Remember what I said about not worrying? That also applies to spending too much time thinking about the past and the future. That’s not to say you should totally abandon all thoughts of anything outside the moment and dive into a wild and self-destructive frenzy of pure hedonism – that won’t end well.

It is to say though that you should think about the past enough to learn from it, think about the future enough to plan for it and then that’s it. Don’t dwell there. If you spend so much time steeped in nostalgia and longing for the way things used to be then you’re going to lose all the time you’ve got right now. If you spend too much time worrying and planning and preparing for the future you also miss out on the time you’ve got now- and that future may never even come.

Be present and mindful and enjoy the moment.

19. Be Social

I grew up as a fat, nerdy, socially awkward introvert.

Don’t do that.

Well, ok, I encourage nerdiness. The rest of it though contributed to a lot of the very worst parts of my adolescence. I understand, as a former victim of extreme social anxiety, that it’s not as easy as just saying, “Go be more social!” I hate that. That’s like telling someone suffering from sever depression that they just need to ‘cheer the hell up’. It displays a lack of understanding so severe as to border on the offensive.

That being said, don’t just accept your social awkwardness. There are steps you can take to gradually dig yourself out from under it, and a lot of it hinges on small, purposeful steps outside of your comfort zone. Put the work in. It’s hard, and it sucks, but believe me when I say that the benefits to working at being more social far outweigh the pain of getting there.

Not only are social interactions inherently fulfilling on a subconscious level a lot of things in life genuinely do come down more to who you know than what you know. That isn’t to say you should approach everyone you meet with the mindset of figuring out what you can gain from them, that won’t end well. You should be social for the emotional benefits, but understand that it’ll help out in a lot of other ways too.

You can still be an introvert – I certainly still need my alone time – but work hard to cultivate a solid social life as well.

20. It’s Never Too Late to Start (or Stop) Something

The Sunk Cost Fallacy is some straight bullshit.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent twenty years trudging along in a career you hate – if you hate it trudging along another twenty isn’t going to make it better. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that since you’ve put a lot of time into the wrong thing that you should put even more time into it to make all that wasted time ‘worth it’ somehow. That’s just insane. No matter how long you’ve been doing something, if it’s making you miserable stop doing it.

There’s never any time when it’s too late to start something new either. While it’s often better to get an earlier start there are tons of people who have taken up something new late in life and mastered it. Saying you’re too old to do something is basically just decided to not even try and to go to your grave having not even made an attempt to do what you want. How awful is that? Even if your 99th birthday is tomorrow, if there’s something you really want to do find a way to go out and do it.

21. Don’t Confuse Patience and Inaction

Patience is definitely a virtue. You’ll get no argument from me about that. The problem is I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re just being patient, that good things come to those who wait, when really they’re just sitting around wasting their time because they’re too timid to go get what they want.

Good things come to those who wait when they need to wait and who act when they need to act. Inaction, laziness and indolence are not going to help you reach your goals. Sitting around and waiting to just know a new language one day isn’t going to get you anywhere. You have to work for it. Hard.

The same thing applies to fitness. If you’re overweight do you think you can just sit around and be patient until you’re fit? No. You’ve got to work your ass off for it. Where patience comes in is the understanding of the necessity of delayed gratification – that right now, tomorrow, maybe the next few months, are going to suck. They’re going to be painful. You’re going to have to do a lot of things you don’t want to. In time though, if you’re patient enough to persist and not give up great you’ll reach your goals.

22. Treat Your Body Well

Speaking of fitness, in a lot of ways your body is the only thing that’s really yours. Don’t trash it.

Aside from all the ways being fit opens up countless opportunities for experiences, additional freedom and just general happiness the fact is you are your body. We can argue about identity and mind/body dualism all day long, but everything that makes you you is just the particular combination of chemicals, electrical signals and neurons that make up your brain.

While we may get there eventually, we don’t currently have the technology to separate your mind from your brain. That means that you are essentially your brain. Given that we also don’t have the technology to keep that brain of yours alive without your body in what could generally be called a fully functioning way you basically are your body.

So why let it fall apart? You’re not in your body, your body is you and you are your body. We’ve come a long way medically, but you still basically only get one, so treasure it and keep in good shape.

23. You Don’t Necessarily Need a Degree

I think more and more people are coming to this realization on their own, but you really don’t need a college degree anymore in most cases.

There are certainly fields where you definitely do need one, but when I was going through school it was impressed on us that every single person needed some kind of degree or they would never get beyond the realm of sub-poverty line minimum wage serfdom. To not go off to college was like occupational suicide – you were ruining your chances to amount to anything.

Anymore though it really doesn’t matter so much. You can do plenty of great things without a college degree, and not being yoked with crushing student debt can even give you an advantage over your peers in a lot of respects. I’d never say a higher degree is useless either, the point is just that you should understand it’s not necessarily a requirement. Look at your situation, goals and options and evaluate for yourself whether or not it’d be a good investment to pursue.

24. You Don’t Necessarily Need to Work for Someone Else

This follows the above point. When I was young the sole goal in life as pressed upon me by the educational system was to choose my function in society and find a nice stable job at a good company doing whatever it was I decided to do on a steady 9 to 5 schedule for the rest of my life.

The concept of starting a business, of freelancing, of pursuing something creative, none of that was even considered.

With the Internet it’s easier than ever to find your own work or start your own business, provided you’re tenacious and persistent enough. I’m not going to suggest everyone start a business, because it’s hard, risky and takes a certain type of person to find success. It’s just not for everyone. You shouldn’t feel like you have to work for someone else either though or get some 9 to 5 that you despise just to pay the bills. Find were you work best and are happiest and go with that.

25. Meditate

Modern life is stressful as hell.

Meditation provides one of the best ways to deal with that stress and find some peace and happiness in a chaotic world. Meditation leads to contentedness (not to be confused with complacency) which will make your days much more pleasant overall while you work toward improving yourself and the world around you.

Meditation also leads to introspection and a better understanding and control of yourself – something that is absolutely priceless in the pursuit of self-improvement. There’s nothing spiritual about meditation, and even if you’ve never done it before meditation is easy to start. Even five minutes of quiet reflection every day will make a big difference.

26. Only You Can Define Your Happiness

After everything else, this ought to be self-evident. No one else can decide for you the best way to be happy. Take time and consider it, deciding what makes you most happy is not something to be decided upon in haste lest you come to the end of your life finding you were mistaken. Mull it over and test things out, try a little bit of everything. You’ll know when you really find it, and once you do don’t let anyone stop you from going after it.

There you have it – 26 things I’ve learned in my time here so far. Hopefully reading it has provided as much motivation and catharsis as I’ve found in writing it. Now go out there and do something great.

Do have anything to add? Any lessons you’ve learned in your time here, however long that’s been, that you feel should be included? Leave a comment and share them!

Photo Credit: Katherine McAdoo

Why ‘I Don’t Have Time’ Is a Bullshit Excuse

Explored #1 by Bethan

There’s some time, grab it!

Out of just about every excuse in the world, the one I most despise is also the one I seem to hear most frequently – I don’t have time.

I don’t have time to learn a new language, I don’t have time to workout and get fit, I don’t have time to start a business, I don’t have time to do this or that or anything else.

Bullshit.

Not only am I going to explain why it’s an inane excuse, I’m going to show you ways you can ‘find the time’ to do everything you could possibly want to do and more.

There Are 24 Hours in a Day

Assuming you are on Earth and not off somewhere traveling at such speeds as to be strongly affected by time dilation then you have twenty four hours in your day to play with. No more, no fewer. This has always been the case since the day you were born. It’s not as though you will ever have to worry about adjusting to having fewer hours per day to manage.

So how is it exactly that you don’t have enough time?

Think of everyone who has ever achieved greatness throughout the entire span of human history – Archimedes, Michelangelo, Shakespeare, Ford, Jobs and anyone else you can think of who was successful – do you know how many hours they had to work with in a day?

Twenty four.

Same as you.

So clearly, ‘finding the time’ is not the issue. Inspirational men and women through time have demonstrably proven there to be ample time here on Earth to accomplish wonderfully incredible things, let alone the generally mundane stuff that most people use this excuse for. If Michelangelo can find the time to paint the Sistine Chapel, I’m reasonably certain you can find the time to workout three times a week.

Now I know that some of you are already going to start whining to the effect of, ‘You’re being too literal, when we say we don’t have the time we don’t mean the hours aren’t there we’re just too busy‘. Alright. Fine.

Still bullshit.

You Probably Suck at Managing Your Time

Most people just flat out suck at managing time. Certainly if you’re the kind of person who finds him or herself thinking that you wish you could do something but just don’t have the time to or are too busy then I can nearly guarantee you’re wretched at time management.

People love to say they’re too busy like it’s some kind of insurmountable external obstacle that they are in no way culpable for as it’s clearly dictated by forces beyond their control. It makes them feel like it’s not their fault for not trying to do whatever it is they wish they could do. It externalizes responsibility.

I think one of the biggest reasons people do this is fear. I think many people are just too terrified to fail so they’d rather stay stagnant where it’s comfortable and never even try. In reality you should embrace failure. It’s not something you should be afraid of.

People don’t want to admit they’re too scared to try though so they claim they don’t have the time to do it as a convenient excuse.

If you are someone, however, who honestly feels like you don’t have enough time to accomplish the things you want to accomplish then sit down one day and write out everything you did for every hour of the day up to that point. You can even go through and list everything you did that whole week if you’re feeling ambitious.

How much time did you spend watching TV? How much time did you spend on Facebook, or playing video games, or things like that?

If you’re anything like the average American you probably spend about three hours per day watching TV and about an hour per day playing games. That’s four hours everyday that you could devote to whatever it is you wish you could get done. That’s a full 1/6th of your whole day. More if you don’t count time spent sleeping.

You don’t even have to give up those full four hours, even shaving one off will make a big difference.

The question comes down to which is genuinely more important to you, being fit, learning a language or whatever it is you want to achieve or not missing Game of Thrones.

Reclaiming Your Time

The real key to it comes down to reclaiming your time for your own. Figuring out what your goals are and then, rather than making excuses for why you can’t pursue them, doing everything in your power to make it work. Here are a handful of tips to help you get started.

  • Prioritize – Figure out what is really important to you and cut out all the things you spend time on that don’t actually bring you toward something important. Don’t mistake this for a suggestion that all leisure time is evil, I watch TV and play video games too, the key is in knowing how much is too much.

  • Make Things Fun – If cutting down on things like TV and relaxation time are genuinely killing you, work to find things that are fun or help you relax that also further your goals, at least passively. If you want to be more fit, go play basketball or go for a walk instead of planting yourself in front of a TV or computer. If you’re looking to learn a new language watch TV in your target language instead of your native one. Find ways to combine your relaxation time with something helpful.

  • Eliminate Distractions – A great deal of time is wasted because the nature of our modern world is one rife with distractions. It’s common now to have all of your social networks right in your pocket, jumping and chirping with every update in an attempt to drag your attention away from whatever other thing you were engaged with. When you add on to that the time devouring void that is the Internet it’s easy to lose track of what you’re doing.

    Do whatever needs to be done to eliminate all of these distractions. Turn your phone off and put it in another room. Get a program like Rescue Time or one that shuts of your Internet if you don’t need it for your task. Whatever it takes – the key is to remove the temptation to engage with and become entranced by potential diversions.

  • Get Rid of Your TV – I think there are plenty of good reasons to give away your TV. Having a TV in your living room or bedroom is just an invitation to sit around and waste time. Get rid of it.

    That’s not to say that you shouldn’t watch any TV, just that it should be a focused activity like everything else you do. A lot of people just plop down in front of their set and then go hunting to see what’s on. Instead, pick what you want to watch beforehand, seek it out and watch it and be done. Hulu and Netflix are both great for this. We have a handful of shows we enjoy enough to watch deliberately like The Walking Dead, but we don’t spend much other time watching TV. As a result we spend an average of less than an hour a day watching things, and since I see all the shows I want to see I don’t feel like I’m missing out.

  • Recapture Down Time – There are a lot of small chunks of time spread throughout the day that tend to just get lost. These are moments in-between things or while you’re waiting. Moments spent in line for your espresso, waiting for a file to download or standing around until the elevator arrives.

    All of these moments can be recaptured and spent doing something very little that adds up into something substantial when leveraged over days and weeks. Pulling out your phone and doing three Memrise sessions takes a grand total of maybe five or six minutes. Three Memrise sessions adds up to about 15 new words, add in another five minutes to refresh old memories and in ten minutes per day you can learn 15 new words.

    You certainly can pull ten minutes together throughout the day, especially since it doesn’t have to be all at once. Doing a Memrise session every time you have to wait for the elevator in your building barely counts as effort, but compounded over two months that’s about 1,000 new words you’ve learned.

  • Timebox – Using timeboxing is an excellent way not only to ensure that you get everything on your to-do list done, but also to help motivate you to tackle the bigger tasks that you’ve been dreading. Best of all since the very nature of timeboxing, setting a specific temporal constraint beyond which you’re forbidden to work on a given task, means that it directly restricts you from getting too absorbed in one project to have time for everything else you need to work on.

These are just a few things you can do to ‘find the time’ that you swear you don’t have to accomplish your goals. If you can think of any others you particularly like definitely leave a comment and share them with everyone. Let us know too what you’re going to go out an accomplish now that the bullshit excuse of not enough time has been put to rest.

Photo Credit: Bethan

2012 to 2013: A Year in Review

Ashinoko Dreams by Les Taylor

Getting to Japan was one goal that we didn’t accomplish this year.

Being my birthday today, it’s time for another annual review.

It’s been a really long year this time around the Sun, and I plan on doing this review a little differently than ones I’ve done in the past, hopefully to dig in a little deeper and figure out what went well, what didn’t go so well, and most importantly what things I need to change moving forward.

Rather than focus so much on goals like I have in the past, instead I’m going to focus on what I did, what went wrong, what went right and then where I need to go from here in that order. To keep things simple I’m going to try to focus on picking 3 to 5 things for each category so I don’t get too carried away. So let’s get started!

What I Did This Year

  • Left a job teaching English that I despised for one as a personal trainer that I enjoy

  • Published several short fiction stories.

  • Wrote our 60-page getting started eBook.

  • Became an early riser.

  • Wrote over 50,000 words in 30 days.

  • Hit the lowest bodyfat percentage of my adult life.

What I’m Most Proud Of

  • Planning, finishing and publishing our ebook.

  • Getting in the best shape of my life and continuing to improve.

  • Escaping a job that was killing me for one I actually like.

Finishing the ebook was a pretty big project, but we were able to plan everything out, break it into smaller more manageable tasks and rock the whole thing out in a much more efficient manner than I originally expected. In addition to being really pleased with how well it turned out I’m also happy at how fun of an overall experience it wound up being. It almost never felt like work and when I got into the zone I really loved working on it.

To be fair the fitness achievements were a long time in coming and certainly not down to only work put in this past year, but still. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made in the past year and even more proud of the fact that I continue to improve.

Leaving my job as an English teacher was also a big jump since I abandoned a stable, decently paying job to basically be unemployed while I got the necessary certifications taken care of to be hired as a personal trainer at a gym with no actual guarantee any gym would be hiring. It turned out well and I’m happy I had the guts to go for it rather than doing what was easy.

How I’ve Improved

  • I’ve recaptured my focus / drive.

  • I’ve started to focus more on the future.

  • I’ve gained a lot of control over myself.

For a decent stretch of time there, particularly when I was working the most teaching English, I lost a lot of the drive that had enabled me previously to get a lot done. It was a combination of a lot of things, and a big chunk of it was coming home after work and pretty much just wanting to collapse, but I’ve since recaptured my focus. Now even on days when I feel like absolute crap I can pull things together enough to get what I need to do done.

I also had a bad habit of focusing on the past. The death of my grandma this past April caused me to reflect on a lot of things – it still is, she was like a parent to me and frankly I’m still crushed by it. Part of that reflection was realizing that I need to shift my focus to where I’m going and learn to worry less about where I’ve been and things that I have no power to change.

A lot of the control I’ve gained over myself relates to ignoring my compulsions to resist work, particularly when I’m in a bad mood. It might just be my escape from a soul-crushing job, but I’m much more able to suppress my desire for comfort in order to accomplish the tasks I’ve set for myself.

What I’ve Learned

  • Never miss an opportunity to let someone know how much you care about them.

  • Taking social risks opens up countless more opportunities than being introverted.

  • A little progress toward a task each day for a long enough period adds up to be huge.

My grandma lived in an addition on to my parents’ house. We were over at my parents’ house one day to pick some things up and, rather than stop back into Grandma’s house to say hi and visit for a bit before leaving, I figured I’d just see her next time and we left. Two days later my mom called to tell me she had passed away. Never miss an opportunity.

I’ve worked a lot this past year to be more social – growing up I was the fat, nerdy, super-awkward kid so I’ve always been kind of on the shy side. Learning to be a lot more social and work on my social anxiety has been extremely beneficial and not only helped me create a lot of new friendships but opened up a lot of opportunities.

Between finishing my books and, more lately, the beginnings of our latest challenge I’ve found that stable, consistent productivity gets a lot more done than my normal, manic-burst style. Being able to work on our books daily, little by little, added up to a much larger volume of work than I ever could have accomplished in much smaller frantic sprints. I’ll be harnessing this method a lot more often in the future.

What I’d Do Differently

  • Get on a more consistent work schedule.

  • Check more frequently to ensure what I’m doing is getting me toward my long term goals.

  • Take more frequent opportunities to have fun and relax.

All last year my work schedule was inconsistent and frantic. As a result, some things got done very quickly and efficiently like the book while other things fell way behind where they should’ve been like the couple spans on here and on our other site One Clean Plate that went by with zero new posts written.

Checking more frequently to make sure that what I was working on was actually taking me in the direction of my long term goals is another thing that would’ve benefited me greatly this past year. There were a handful of times I think I drifted a little, or lost focus on where I was trying to go and as a result it was difficult sometimes to figure out what I really needed to be doing.

Lastly, the fact that I had such an inconsistent work schedule meant I tended to go overboard when I did work and burn myself out completely. That meant long, non-productive chill out times in order to recover which tended to be really counterproductive and hard to climb back out of. I think I would’ve been a lot more productive and successful if, rather than working myself to the bone, I had made a point of taking time out in intervals throughout those periods to relax and go have some fun.

What I Need to Stop Doing

  • Wasting so much time.

  • Trying to chase too many goals at once.

  • Depending on work from a company for income over my own projects

The first two are things I’ve definitely progressed in but still need some work with. A lot of my time wasting this past year has come from my issue with burning myself out completely and then needing a few days of moping around and relaxing to recover. That definitely needs to stop. I also have a bad habit of taking on way more projects at once than I can juggle and then having everything fall apart. That’s got to stop too.

Lastly I really need to get to a point where I’m not relying on income from an employer for survival. I am finally in work I genuinely enjoy as a personal trainer, but I don’t want it to be what I subsist off of. I’d like the freedom of knowing the income streams that support me come from my own projects and that I can work as a personal trainer more as a choice and less as a necessity.

What I Need to Start Doing

  • Go out and socialize more.

  • Take more action on goals.

  • Sticking to a consistent schedule.

Like I mentioned earlier in the article I recognize that a lot of success is determined not so much by how much you know or how good you are at something but by who you know. You can argue the merits of that kind of system up and down, but regardless I find it in practice to be true. As a result, I think my chances of being able to do the things I want to do and take on the kinds of projects I’d like to take on will be benefit immensely by my getting out and socializing more, particularly with like-minded people.

In a similar vein I need to talk less about my goals and work more toward them. I’ve always been a compulsive planner and as a result I sometimes over-plan and over-analyze and as a result never get to the part where I actually act on my goals. Going forward I need to focus a lot more on the action.

I also need a more consistent schedule to make sure I get what I need to do done. My experiences with this latest challenge and the Seinfeld productivity method have reinforced my notion that consistent regular work is a much better way to get things done. Getting on a better schedule will facilitate this change.

Why I Succeeded

  • I was willing to make risky decisions.

  • I focused intently on certain projects.

  • I didn’t allow myself to worry about things.

Why I Failed

  • I overestimated my own abilities and diligence.

  • I destroyed myself working fanatically on certain projects.

  • I didn’t spend enough time considering what I wanted out of life.

Those last handful I think are fairly self-explanatory.

That’s my 25th year of life in review. How has your current year been going so far? What are somethings you’ve done well? What are some things you need to fix? Leave a comment and let me know.

Photo Credit: Les Taylor

Is Your Inner Monologue Helping or Hurting Your Success? Four Ways to Change Your Mindset and Be More Positive

The Mighty Hunter by James M. Turley

“Thoughts become things.” – Buddha

Before you begin a task or attempt to learn something new, does it make sense to first insult yourself or the subject? To tell yourself that it’s hard or you aren’t smart enough to do it?

It’s not intentional, but often people do it anyway. It’s forgivable – our brains do appear to be wired for negativity, or we remember negative experiences more often than positive ones. However, it’s not inexcusable forever. As soon as you want to do something new or need to gain a new skill, your mindset and how you approach it can have a huge impact on whether or not you will succeed.

Sometimes it’s a memory from childhood (negative emotions around something you had a bad experience with coming back to haunt you) or a cultural negativity toward a subject (X language is HARD!) or a simple fear of failure. There’s lots of ways negativity infects our thoughts and impacts our performance and ability to learn new things.

To make matters worse these negative thoughts not only hurt your chances of success, they also increase your stress levels which leads to, among many things, elevated cortisol, decreased memory, weight gain (or difficulty losing) and disrupted sleep. You are pretty much screwed. Except that you’re not.

The more you allow these negative thoughts to seep into your brain, the more you become them. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy, so-to-speak. But you can break this negative mindset and instead retrain yourself to think positively. Vain affirmations not necessary.

Four Ways to Change Your Mindset and Be More Positive

1. Practice Mindfulness

Being mindful is to pay attention to the present moment without judgment, or “living in the now.” When you are mindful you are focused on the task at hand – not distracted by other things or, worse, past experiences or worrying about the future. In other words, practicing mindfulness allows you to be more balanced and positive which will then enhance your mental performance.

So how can you practice being more mindful? You can start meditating daily or, if you prefer moving meditation give that a try. By taking breaks to clear your mind, doing one thing at a time and being slow and deliberate about it and paying attention to your thoughts to prohibit worrying about the past or future you will slowly build the habit of mindfulness.

Want another reason to practice mindfulness? There is some evidence that being mindful can increase the gray matter in the brain’s hippocampus, an area of the brain important for learning, memory and emotion, while also reducing gray matter in the amygdala, an area of the brain associated with stress and anxiety.

2. Redefine Failure

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

Have you failed yet today?

Changing your attitude toward failure can go a long way to giving you a more positive attitude and getting rid of negative thinking. Don’t treat your failures as something to be ashamed of, be proud of them! Through your failures you not only learn, but you also grow in your experience and insights.

If a fear of failure is preventing you from even beginning to take action, take a closer look at it. What will happen if you fail? What are the possible scenarios? How can you prevent the worst? And, most importantly, if the worst happens anyway, is it the end of the world?

The answer to that last one is that, more likely than not, it wont be the end of the world. Like Henry Ford was getting at, you need to remind yourself that when you do fail that the world isn’t over; You can still take action, or get back up and try again, this time a little wiser than you were before.

Not convinced? Need more reasons to go fail? We recently posted an article just on Why You Need to Go Out And Fail.

3. Be Diligent

When you are studying Chinese grammar you can complain about how hard it is or you can, using smart techniques, keep working on it bit by bit every day.

If you are taking on a huge project it can get overwhelming and a little voice in the back of your head might start telling you that it’s impossible to complete. The negatives thoughts can paralyze you – if you let them.

When those negative thoughts creep into your head take a moment to refocus, take a break if you need to. Divide the huge task into small, manageable chunks and have some way to positively reward yourself when you have completed your smaller goals, preferably with something like a nice green check mark on a calendar to indicate your progress and success.

Over time, the small successes build up and not only boost your overall optimism and positivity toward that particular goal, but you will be able to apply these same principles toward other goals you take on.

4. Take Control

Taking control is probably the most important of all of these lessons. Positive people don’t just have a good day, and success doesn’t just happen by accident – they make these things happen.

One of the causes of stress and self-directed negativity are hopes and wishes lacking action. Being passive won’t get you closer to your goals and most certainly won’t bring you success. Be pro-active and actively work toward success, whatever that may look like for you. Whether it’s constructing your ideal life, being able to speak another language, starting a business or getting healthier.

You have control over your actions and reactions – you have a choice. The more you are passive about goals and creating systems and situations that move you closer to success, the wider the gap gets between you and positivity and success.

I know it’s ridiculous to just expect everyone to suddenly change their actions, but it’s not ridiculous to suggest that you make it a habit. By combining the above advice about mindfulness with the goal of taking more control, you can slowly build this into a habit. Be mindful, take note of negative or passive thoughts and actions, and build the habit of changing them into action and positivity.

Being positive is ultimately about mindful action and re-framing typically negative situations like failure.

Have you struggled with negative thoughts? What has or hasn’t worked for you? Tell us what you think in the comments below.

Photo Credit: James M. Turley

Stop Fishing: Overcoming the Drug of Consumerism

Consumerism Explained by Vermin Inc

Is there any more iconic symbol of consumerism?

Henry David Thoreau, one of my favorite authors, once said “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.” (Tweet this.)

I think this is an excellent reflection of the consumerism driven cycle most people get trapped in and then spend their entire lives fulfilling. Consumerism dominates modern life, at least here in the U.S. but I would wager throughout the developed world as well.

It’s a pervasive thing that really saturates our culture. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem, except it almost always leads to an artificial and transient state of happiness that leaves people unfulfilled. In other words it tends to make life suck.

So how do we break out of the consumerist cycle?

The First World’s Drug of Choice

To understand how best to escape the cycle it’s important to first have an idea of how it works and why it’s so heinous in the first place.

The consumerist cycle primarily operates by creating a deep sense of loss that leads to a sense of need. When you see someone with something new and cool that seems to make them happy you want to be happy too. Not also having this item that’s making the other person happy makes you feel like you’re missing out which creates a strong internal sense of loss.

Loss, as a motivating factor, is much more powerful to humans than a sense of potential gain. Studies have shown that people who have to do something or lose $5 are much more likely to do it than people who have to do something to earn $5. This sense of loss about missing out on the feeling of having this thing is a powerful motivator that strongly encourages you to buy it.

What does that lead to though? As soon as the next thing comes around that sense of loss returns – possibly stronger if reinforced by being rewarded with a shiny new thing last time it came around.

If you look around at the kind of life most people fall into all of their work tends to amount to fulfilling the next step in that cycle. You work to buy a house, a car, a new phone and then once you have them you work more to get a bigger house, a newer car or a better phone.

Then what? The same thing again.

Over and over you repeat this cycle and eventually you die. If you were successful in the consumerist cycle you leave behind a lot of crap for your kids, if you weren’t successful you don’t.

That’s it.

Do You Really Want Fish?

Shopping - Ecstasy by David Blackwell

If you think every shopping experience should feel like this, you’re probably caught in the cycle.

You’re fishing, like Thoreau said, but have you ever actually asked yourself if it’s fish you want?

When you spend your whole day toiling away in a job you may or may not enjoy casting your nets so can have more money, a better TV, or whatever other thing to cram into the nagging sense of lack instilled in you by advertising and society in general is that really what you want?

Some people might say yes and, while I suspect you’re deluded and just haven’t fully considered the alternative, if you want to follow the same cycle of purchasing new things only to work hard the following year to purchase more of the same things then that’s your choice.

Personally, I find that type of life void of any kind of meaning. I find that type of a life terrifying. To think of going to my grave having done nothing but collect successively newer things is repugnant to me in its wastefulness.

Worst in my opinion is it’s difficult to pull people out of this consumerist cycle because in addition to being socially pervasive it’s a really effective psychological drug. Now I’m not insane enough to think this is some kind of conspiracy or anything – it’s just a reflection of a basic human psychological weakness that’s turned out to be awfully profitable. Regardless that makes it all the more difficult to snap people out of it.

Suggestions for a Life Worth Living

I would feel slightly hypocritical denigrating a particular approach at finding happiness in life through possessions as being followed blindly then declaring that the approach to life I espouse is the true way and you should take my word for it.

So I’m not going to tell you my way is best. It works for me and I do intend to share my own suggestions, but I want you sit down and think for yourself about what you really want in life.

At its root one of the reasons the consumerist cycle is so awful is that its accepted blindly when its pushed onto us by society. We’re all brought up being told we need to fish. We’re inundated by media and a societal model that whispers incessantly in our ears that we would be happier if only we had this fish or that fish and so we start fishing, never asking ourselves if we decided we wanted fish or if it was decided for us. WE wind up press ganged into pescetarianism.

So ask yourself if it’s what you really want and, if it isn’t, do something about it.

When I realized that I had the choice I decided that a life spent devoted to material things was not something that brought me real happiness. (Tweet this.)

I feel that overall the worth of a person is tied most strongly not to what they have, or even what they are, but what they can do and have done. Additionally I’ve learned that experiences bring me much more consistent, lasting and fulfilling happiness than things.

That’s led me to pursue experiences, skills and relationships over things. Finally getting that new super high tech TV is something that, as soon as the next, better TV comes out, I will completely forget about. Getting to have meaningful conversations with someone in another country because I took the time to learn to speak a new language is something that will stick with me forever.

Small Steps to Stop Fishing

So what are some things you can do to break out of the cycle?

  • Give Minimalism a Try – Minimalism doesn’t mean getting rid of everything and living like a hermit. It just means closely examining all the things you have and deciding whether they’re genuinely a benefit or a burden. If you want an easy but effective first step, get rid of your TV. We did a while back and I’m extremely happy about it.

  • Invest in Skills and Experiences – A good rule is to always ask, in making this purchase am I investing money in myself or in something else? Am I going to improve personally or develop as a person having done this? It’s not to say every single thing you do has to be focused on personal development, but making it a priority will go a long way. Take a class, practice a new skill, try out a brand new experience, invest in something you’ll actually remember in ten years.

  • Go Travel – Travel is one of the easiest ways to force yourself to go have new experiences, meet new people and expose yourself to new ideas. Don’t make your trip about souvenirs or you run the risk of kind of missing the whole point. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to be wealthy to travel either. Travelling cheap can be easy and it often leads to more experiences, you just have to be creative.

The most important thing is to constantly check up on yourself to ensure you’re doing what you genuinely want to be doing and aren’t pursuing a goal that you unconsciously assimilated from your environment, friends or family.

Do you have any suggestions for escaping the cycle of consumerism? Do you think I’m completely wrong on the whole thing and consumerism isn’t a big deal? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Paul Hocksenar, David Blackwell

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