A Basic Model for Personal Development

Framework by Markus Stöber

It’s important to have the right framework in place for successful personal development.

Personal development is something we talk about a lot here – primarily because the one thing I know for certain that everyone has and has control over is themselves. No matter what other variables there may be, I know for certain (at least until someone develops serious A.I. anyway) that anyone reading this has a self that they can improve.

To this end we tend to focus on more ‘high level’ or specific aspects of personal development. I wanted to reverse that a bit and look at the bigger picture structure most successful personal development follow. I know as a self-defense instructor how important it is to go back and refine the basics, so I’d like to go back and refine the basics of personal development.

The Foundational Model for Successful Personal Development

Nearly all successful personal development starts with the same foundational structure. Technically it’s the same basic structure for successful completion of goals, since in the end succeeding in personal development is just successfully achieving a bunch of goals that all, in some way, improve you or your life.

That basic foundational structure follows a three step pattern: Identify Your Targets, Determine Available Actions, Test and Review.

That’s it.

Well, ok, that’s not totally it. We’ve written a lot on here about all the minutiae that can go into all of those individual steps and different applications and strategies for different goals and all these other finer details. Boiled down to it’s essence though all those other things we tweak and refine to optimize things are just finishing touches. If we’re building a house those things are the paints, the trim, the lighting. The three part structure above is the foundation and the frame.

You can live in a house with ugly paint much easier than you can in a house with a badly poured foundation and rotting frame.

So what are these three items and how do we make sure they’re in place when we’re setting up our foundations?

Identifying Your Targets

You could also call this ‘determining your goals’ if you like, although I find that for personal development thinking of it as target areas is a bit easier.

At this stage you’re figuring out what area you want to improve in. The easiest thing is to just list them out in a broad sense first by larger category. Some common areas might be Health, Relationships, Finance, Learning, etc. Though they can be more specific if you have something specific that plays a large part in your personal development, a writer might list Writing, an aspiring musician might list Music, someone who just really loves cooking might list Cooking. You get the idea.

You’ll notice, especially if you’re a good goal-setter, that these violate the general rules of proper goal setting in that they are far too vague and non-specific. That’s intentional. For personal development I’m not so worried about very specific goals, just general areas for betterment. While a good goal might be ‘Lose 5 Pounds by the End of Next Month’ it lacks the continuous progressive feel we’re aiming for here. You’ll meet that goal and have to make another one, whereas identifying targets for personal growth should only need to be done once.

Once you’ve identified them you can also prioritize them, especially if you’ve found yourself with a very long list. Doing so will help you figure out where to invest the most energy for the next step and help you avoid burning yourself out or overextending yourself.

Determine Available Actions

Now that you’ve got your list of target areas for personal development, it’s time to figure out what to do about them.

Determining available actions is exactly what it sounds like. Look over your list of target areas you wish to improve in and figure out a single action you can take in each that will lead to personal development in that area. When doing this, try to keep in mind which of your target areas were most important to you so that you can choose actions for those areas that are more demanding and assign less demanding actions to the target areas that are of lower value to you.

For example, let’s say a person listed Health, Finance, Learning, and Writing as their target areas in descending order of importance to them. The next step would be to figure out one single action for each that will make an improvement in that area. Since Health is the most important target area the action chosen for it can require a much larger personal investment than Writing, which is the least important to this person.

For Health they may decide to begin lifting weights three times a week – an action which requires a fairly large investment in terms of energy and dedication. For Finance they choose to create and start keeping a budget, Learning they commit to reading a single short article each day on various topics, and for Writing they will write an extra 250 words per day – a very minimal investment in terms of energy assuming they already write daily.

The idea here is both to fill in each target area with a definite, concrete action to take and also to ensure that you’re not going to totally overwhelm yourself. Having a single action to focus on keeps you from falling into the paralysis of having too many choices to make or options to worry about. You have one thing to focus on and can forget everything else. Prioritizing your actions around which target areas for personal growth are most important keeps you from grinding yourself into the ground with it.

Imagine if that person committed to lifting three times per week, starting a side business, reading two full non-fiction books per month and writing an extra 2,000 words per day. Some people might be able to pull that off, most people would get a week or two in and then collapse under the pressure.

The next and final step is to actually go out and do the things you’ve committed yourself to.

Testing and Reviewing

The very final step, if you can really call it that since this is largely a cyclical process, is to test and review the actions you’ve chosen.

What that means is that you’ll implement all of the available actions you chose in the last step, carry on with them long enough to determine their overall efficacy, and then review what went well with those actions and your implementation of them and what went poorly.

After you’ve reflected on these things, you can go back to step two and either determine additional available actions to improve on your chosen target areas, or you can further refine the ones you’ve chosen.

There are a couple things to keep in mind during this process. The first is that you make sure to allow yourself ample time to truly gauge the efficacy of the actions you’ve chosen. Using the Health example from the previous section, if you commit to lifting weights three times per week, but then determine after two weeks of lifting that it doesn’t seem to be working and you give up – you’ve not really properly evaluated its efficacy. Some things, like a lifting program, may take a month or two to properly evaluate. Make sure you know what a reasonable period is for expecting discernible results.

Another aspect to keep in mind is adherence.

On one hand, if you showed poor adherence to an action item and didn’t see any results that doesn’t necessarily mean that the particular action itself is ineffective. If you decide to lift three times per week and after two months see no results, but only actually lifted an average of one to two times per week or less because you couldn’t stick to it, that doesn’t mean that particular lifting program is ineffective.

On the other hand, while it may not be evidentiary of the inefficacy of that particular action, it may be indicative of either a larger problem in terms of the work load you’ve taken on, your level of discipline and ability to handle multiple commitments, or the amount and investment level of action items you chose in the second step.

If you can’t stick to any of the action items you’ve committed yourself to, then you have a larger overall problem to fix and might need to go back and choose actions for everything that are less taxing and require less of a personal investment to stick to.

Remember – a tiny action reliably performed always has a greater effect than an enormous action performed sporadically.

Once you’ve tested and reviewed, you can repeat the process and either build upon those actions or re-work things and choose new ones as the situation warrants.

As long as you’ve got this framework down, you’ve got the basic tools for successful personal development. Choose where you want to improve, determine a concrete action to take that will enact improvement in each area, then follow through with that action until you can evaluate its impact and repeat the process. There are certainly other finer details to consider, but as long as you’ve got this process down you’ve got a well-laid foundation to build the rest on top of.

Have anything you’d like to add to the process? Any tips or suggestions for ways to make it better, or problems you’ve run into? Share them with us in the comments!

Photo Credit: Markus Stöber

Video Games, Process, & Success Dependence – How to Set Better Goals

Europa Univeralis IV Starting Screen

Europa Universalis IV players are often good examples of process driven individuals.

In general, people tend to fall into one of two categories in their approach to accomplishing a task. Either they’re result driven, or they’re process driven.

In my experience, of these two the process driven people tend to have more long term success when it comes to achieving the more difficult tasks. It seems to take far less willpower, or mental fortitude if you want to call it that, to tackle more difficult goals for those who are strongly process driven compared to those who are strongly result driven.

So how can we use that observation to help us set better goals, even if we naturally tend toward a result focus?

Result vs. Process in Video Games

The easiest way, for me anyway as a gamer, to demonstrate the two types of people is to look at the behaviors and attitudes of common players of two games.

On one hand you have players of a game like Awesomenauts (feel free to sub DOTA2 in here if you like, I just wanted to give Awesomenauts a shout out because I enjoy it). Awesomenauts players tend to be very strongly results focused. The game itself lends itself to this attitude – it’s a MOBA (multiplayer online battle arena) and, like traditional sports, your objective is to defeat the other team in a clearly defined manner.

You will frequently see players have severe meltdowns if it looks like they’re going to lose. The rage quit (abandoning the game in a fury because it doesn’t look like you’re going to win for you non-video game folk) is a semi-common occurrence, even though there are penalties built in to discourage it. Players can behave like irrational, whiny children who aren’t getting their way if it looks like they aren’t going to be victorious.

This attitude I thinks stems from, or is at least bolstered by, the game’s subconscious push for people to be results driven. Players fall into a myopic obsession with winning, with the result of the game, and as a result cannot enjoy the experience of playing unless they win, or feel like they’ll win. All that matters to them is the outcome.

Contrast that with players of some of Paradox’s grand strategy games like Crusader Kings II or Europa Universalis IV (EU4).

These games have no real win condition. Sure, you can try to conquer the entire globe, and there are ‘points’ so you could argue the objective the game sets for you is to get the most of them but it’s downplayed so much as to be essentially arbitrary.

Even in multiplayer EU4 players are essentially expected to create their own personal goals and ‘win’ conditions. I’ve noticed this structure seems to make people much more process focused. You won’t often see people rage quitting an EU4 game because ‘winning’ is a concept so divested from the core game and determinant on the whims of the player it would be foolish. EU4 players care more about the experience of playing, or the process of it, than they do about winning. Regardless of the result, they enjoy the process.

Before I get any hate mail from Awesomenauts players these are generalizations. Not every Awesomenauts player is a petulant child and not every EU4 player is a refined statesperson – but by looking at these generalizations we can see things that apply to tasks outside of gaming.

Are You Sabotaging Yourself by Being Too Results Focused

For a lot of people, their instinctive approach to set better goals is one falling much closer to the results focused manner the Awesomenauts players we discussed above approach their game.

It may be an endemic issue to U.S. culture, but a lot of people feel pushed to get results no matter what. They put the end result first, and approach things with that attitude of staking everything on ‘winning’ or accomplishing their goal. This can be a strong motivating factor, which is definitely a positive aspect, but it also ties the emotional payout of the experience into a very singular, specific factor.

That obsession with winning increases the reward payout of achieving the win condition – meeting your goal – but it also proportionately increases the emotional pain of not achieving the win condition – of failing to meet your goal.

In other words the more you conflate achieving your goal with being the most important best feeling thing in the world, the more failing to achieve it seems like the worst thing ever.

If you have the idea of losing tied to this strong emotional idea of pain, failure, and disappointment it’s easy to bail rather than risk experiencing that. That’s why rage quitting happens. It’s less painful emotionally to say, “Fuck this, if I can’t win I’m going home and taking my ball with me,” than to actually experience that loss. It’s an issue of pain avoidance, which is a very, very strongly wired an impulse in living things.

So why does that matter for my goals and learning to set better goals?

Let’s take fitness as an example. Partly because it’s common, partly because the societal connotations of pain & struggle being necessary for weight loss already tint it with the specter of pain avoidance.

Suppose you want to lose 15 pounds. You get really pumped about your goal. You’re seriously going to do it this time. You’re pumped. You are entirely and completely invested emotionally in that goal of being 15 pounds lighter.

Now suppose you’re three weeks in and, for whatever reason – a few too many drinks out with friends, general weight fluctuations, getting sick and missing some workouts, whatever, you hop on the scale and you’re back up five or six pounds. Maybe even back to where you started. It’s at this point that you’re most likely to throw in the towel, maybe not even consciously, but when your success is so strongly tied to reaching that goal and you see yourself sliding in the wrong direction that little voice that says, “Dude, just eat the pizza. Go get a box of doughnuts too. It’ll be fine,” gets a lot louder.

The same applies to your actual workouts – if all you’re focused on is the result, not seeing tangible progress destroys your motivation. If you look like you’re going to fail, it’s easier to just quit. Even though quitting’s the best way to guarantee failure.

Compare this with someone who has a purely process focused attitude toward fitness.

This person does it for a love of doing it, rather than solely to achieve an end result. To quote Gerald, “The journey is the destination, man.” Like the EU4 players they don’t care about what happens in the end, win or lose they’re there because they derive their fun from the process.

Ironically here the person who is less directly focused on and invested in that specific goal, losing 15 pounds for example, is the one who would have the easier time reaching it. If you stick to your macros and lift because you want to lift, because you have fun doing it, you’re not going to self-sabotage and quit like the person who slogs through it because they want that end result.

Developing Process Driven Goals

Shifting your focus to process driven goals instead of success dependent ones isn’t that hard externally – it’s a fairly simple process to rework outcome driven goals into process driven ones – but it can be extremely hard to change your mindset to embrace process driven goals more naturally.

The first step in changing a results driven goal into a process driven one is to figure out what processes are going to be most instrumental in making progress toward the result driven goal itself. We’ll go back to fitness as our example again.

If your outcome focused goal is to lose 15 pounds, a piece of the process to achieve that goal may be lifting weights three times per week. That process then becomes your goal – instead of setting out to ‘lose 15 pounds’ you set out to ‘lift three times per week’.

I’ll note here though that one of the finer points of this process is also asking yourself, “What can I do that falls into that category of helpful processes that I also enjoy?”

If you despise lifting weights, then just changing your focus to being process driven may not be enough if the process you choose is lifting weights. You may be better off making your process goal ‘swim three times per week’ or something like that which you particularly enjoy.

It can be very hard to change a long standing opinion on something. While you can grow to enjoy an activity you currently despise, it’s often a grueling process. It’s much easier to figure out something you enjoy that also helps you progress toward your goal than it is to learn to love an activity that you dislike.

In the end, that becomes the crux of it. Once you can find an activity related to your goal that you can wake up in the morning and think, “I really can’t wait to go X,” rather than “Ugh, I have to go Y again,” the easier and more quickly you’ll achieve those goals.

Do you have any suggestions on how to become more process driven or get away from outcome oriented goal setting to set better goals? Share them with us in the comments!

Lessons from the Routines of Famous Creators

I’m a big believer in routine. I think that a lot of what contributes to determining whether a person succeeds or fails in their endeavors is whether or not they have a routine in place – a system – that acts as a benefit or detriment to their progress.

So I was excited to find this visualization of the daily routines of 25 famously creative individuals by Podio and the one below from Infograph We Trust. Let’s take a look and see what learn from them.

Sleep

I’ve said before, sleep is super important.

When we look at the 25 people in question the average amount of time spent per day sleeping was 7.65 hours. Of course, this is a mean and of a relatively small sample size at that so take from it what you will. Within those 25 we have a few outliers such as poor Voltaire clocking in at only four hours of sleep per day and Mozart with a meager five. On the other end of the spectrum is Balzac with around ten hours of sleep per night.

Overall though the majority fall between the seven and eight hour range. This follow pretty closely with the current general guidelines on how much sleep is considered healthy. Stepping outside the chart itself, you’ll notice a mild correlation between amount of sleep daily and lifespan – not to say this implies causation, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

An important thing to take away from this for me is that to be a successfully creative it isn’t necessary to deprive yourself of sleep in the name of overzealous production. In fact, it would seem if given the option of spending more time on sleep or more time on creative work itself the individuals here at least were better off getting extra sleep rather than putting in more work hours.

Quality beats quantity here, and sufficient sleep appears to be an important factor in keeping to a high standard of quality.

I’d also like to note that five of our twenty five here were nappers, depending on whether you include poor insomniac Kafka or not. Napping doesn’t mean you’re lazy, and can actually be a big help in boosting your productivity and creativity.

Creative Work Habits

Our sample twenty five here don’t follow any apparent pattern of when they favored creative work. Some worked in the mornings immediately after waking, some worked late at night and others worked in little intermittent spurts throughout the entire day. Don’t assume just because some people say it’s better to do creative work in the mornings or evenings that it’s true for you. Experiment and find what works best for you then schedule your work times for when you feel most creative or engaged.

Another thing of note is that, with the exception of Kant and his hour or so of creative work a day, the majority of the twenty five in the graphic made their creative work a priority. It wasn’t just some extra thing tacked on to their day, it was clearly a major focus for each of them.

I don’t think this means that there’s any kind of magic number of work hours you have to put in on your creative endeavors, but I do think it’s strongly indicative that all these individuals were passionate about their creative work. It was a defining part of their lives, and they treated it as such. In other words, don’t phone things in.

While most of these individuals lived during times when the modern concept of exercise was essentially unheard of, it’s interesting how many of them included something that could be categorized as exercise very near to when they routinely engaged in their creative work. At least fourteen of them enjoyed going for walks around when they were trying to be their most creative.

If you’re feeling stuck or uncreative, try taking a short walk and letting our mind wander then coming back to things.

Leisure Time

It stands out to me that the majority of these twenty five creative individuals, though they clearly considered their creative work time an integral part of their day, weren’t chained to their desk/easel/piano/whatever.

For nearly all of them their leisure time either matches or exceeds their creative time. Being fair, this does include listed mealtimes and everyone has to eat, but it’s still telling that even the most creative people around are still able to get plenty of time to relax and de-stress.

For those on the list with day jobs in addition to their creative work, there always seems to be at least a small buffer of leisure time before they get into the creative stuff.

I can relate to that personally. I can never go from training a client or teaching a class straight into creative work like writing, I always like to have at least a little chill out time in between as a buffer. Keep that in mind if you feel like you have to go right from your other work into that creative project you’ve been working on – you’ll probably be better off if you take a little break in-between to recharge.

24 Hours

Out of everything, the most helpful thing to me in seeing so many famous creative individuals’ daily routines all together is that it’s a convenient reminder that we all get twenty four hours in a day.

Successful people and absolute failures alike each get the same amount of time everyday – the important variable is how that time is spent.

Hopefully if nothing else this has inspired you to take a look at your own daily routine to see if there are any areas where you can make adjustments to improve your creativity or well-being. If anything jumps out at you from these graphics, or you have a particular area in your daily routine you’ve recently changed and want to share it with everyone, leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Podio, Infographic We Trust

The Tetrapharmakos – An Ancient Cure for Modern Problems

Epicurus vs. Epicurus by AHM

When it comes to philosophy, I tend to gravitate toward the practical side. While I’m certainly interested in a lot of the more abstract areas it’s the parts of philosophy that I can apply to my life right now in order to improve it that I prefer to focus on.

To that end one piece of the Epicurean school that I think has added a lot to my daily life, or at least my attitudes toward it, is the Tetrapharmakos. Even though it was originally created in the 2nd or 3rd century BCE, the ideas it puts forth are just as applicable today.

What’s the Tetrapharmakos?

The Tetrapharmakos originally referred to a certain combination of ‘medicines’ (wax, pitch, tallow, and resin – not something I’d recommend trying) common in ancient Greek pharmacology. The word means ‘four part drug / cure’ in Greek, and Epicurus took that name for his philosophical version considering it to be a four part cure for healing a person’s emotional maladies instead of their physical ones.

Epicurus’s Tetrapharmakos consists of these four (slightly paraphrased) points:

  1. Don’t fear gods.

  2. Don’t fear death.

  3. Truly good things are easy to get.

  4. Truly bad things don’t last.

Let’s go through these points and take a look at how they’re still applicable today.

Don’t Fear Gods

In Epicurus’s time there was a societal division between Greeks who saw the gods as being literal beings that concerned themselves with the affairs of mortals and those (like Epicurus) who considered the gods to be more abstract concepts describing a state of bliss completely unconcerned with the affairs of humans. His essential argument was that gods are by definition perfect, and a perfect being isn’t going to care if you sacrificed a goat in its temple this week or not.

As noted in my personal philosophy I remain unconvinced there are any gods, or anything supernatural for that matter, in existence. I also remain unconvinced I (or anyone/anything else) has a soul, spirit, or whatever ill-defined word you want to use for that concept.

Why is this important? While it doesn’t always, belief in gods can cause a lot of harm. Furthermore the fear of gods specifically, and the fear of punishment by those gods after death can cause enough psychological harm in people that there are specific organizations out there to help people recover from that damage.

Epicurus believed one of the biggest obstacles to happiness was anxiety, and fear of gods and eternal punishment is a huge source of anxiety in people. Here in the U.S. where Christianity is most prevalent fear of punishment in Hell, both of the individual and their loved ones, can cause real stress. When you realize there’s absolutely no evidence that any of those things are real and that they probably don’t exist, it makes it easy to let go of that fear. It also helps set up the next point.

Don’t Fear Death

It’s part of the human condition to fear death. It’s probably one of the most ever-present and strongest anxieties of all for most people. Obviously for Epicurus, this was a problem since he considered fear and anxiety the biggest obstacle to finding happiness.

Epicurus’s position was that there’s no reason to worry so much about death because when we’re alive death isn’t here yet, and when death comes we no longer exist to experience it. To put it another way reminiscent of something Mark Twain would say centuries later, there can be no ‘unpleasantness’ to non-existence because you have to exist to experience something unpleasant. In the same way that you have no experience of anything before birth, you’ll have no experience of anything after death.

Being dead will be just like the state you were in during the billions of years that came before your birth – non-experiencing non-existence.

We’ve already established that there’s no evidence for any kind of afterlife or existence past death, no punishment or eternal torment to worry about, so there’s nothing there to be worried about.

Why is this important? Being in a state of constant worry about what’s going to happen to you after death can cause all the same kinds of crippling anxiety as the belief in gods we talked about above can. It’s an ever-present, background fear in a lot of people and that directly detracts from their happiness and quality of life. Letting go of this fear makes it easier to be happy.

Does that mean you should be reckless or want to die? Absolutely not. There is definitely harm in death in most cases, even if it’s not to you directly (missed opportunity to do good, emotional or financial harm caused to friends and family, etc.), so seeking death is still generally a bad thing. It just means that there’s no reason to live in constant fear of it. Don’t let the fear of something that is inevitable and not unpleasant in the long term ruin your life and cause actual unpleasantness now.

Truly Good Things Are Easy to Get

Mimicking (and possibly influenced by, though I’m unsure of any evidence supporting it) some of the ideas of Buddhism put forth between the 6th and 4th centuries BCE Epicurus asserted that excessive desires led to more harm than good. By extension of this he claimed the things that are truly ‘good’, those things that will truly make a person happy, are all easy to acquire regardless of your situation.

In general, I agree with this idea. As long as a person keeps their desires in check it’s relatively easy to fulfill the range of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Basic shelter, safety, companionship, and self-expression can all be had for relatively little effort by a majority of people.

I will put in a caveat here though that in modern times (and likely even back then, but Epicurus may not have been aware enough of it) situational and economic disparity can make it harder for people to get even the basics they need. I recognize having been born a white male in a middle class family there are certain things I’m susceptible to taking for granted. Accounting for that, there’s still things to gain from this idea.

The first is that your most basic needs, things like food and shelter, are technically easy to get. Now some might take this the wrong way and think the point is that even if you’re living in a cardboard box under a bridge you should be happy with it. I don’t see it that way. To me it’s a dual reminder both to not stress out over the fear of losing material things and to always hold a yardstick to the things I really desire to make sure they’re really important.

Some things are genuinely worth putting a lot of effort into, but it’s easy to stress out over meaningless things unintentionally. Reminding yourself that most truly good things are easy to get also helps encourage you to find peace with what you do have even if it’s less than what you’re striving for.

Truly Bad Things Don’t Last

This too shall pass.

In general, seriously terrible things tend to be acute whereas the chronic bad is often milder by comparison. This, Epicurus suggested, meant that you shouldn’t fear terrible things happening because they’ll always pass. On the inverse, things that don’t show signs of passing for a long time are likely things which you can find the strength to bear.

Don’t misunderstand this to think Epicurus was suggesting everything gets better in what would likely be the modern sense of the idea. Sometimes the end to that terrible suffering is death. Again, with no afterlife though there’s no need to worry about additional suffering after death – just impartial non-existence. That’s probably not the most comforting thing to everyone, but personally whenever something bad happens it’s always a comfort to me knowing that it won’t last. Recognizing that in a (relatively) short span of time you and everything and everyone you’ve known will be gone makes it easy to let go, and once you let go and stop being bothered by things they tend to get easier to handle.

These four principles probably aren’t going to solve every philosophical or existential problem you’re going to struggle with in your lifetime. Hell, it might not solve any of them, but I know I’ve found a lot of good in them when applied to my attitudes toward life in general. I encourage you to take whatever’s useful and don’t worry about the rest.

Do you have anything to add? Any other way you interpret anything in the tetrapharmakos here? Share with us in the comments! I’d love to hear them.

Photo Credit: A.H.M.

Thoughts on Fat Pride from a Formerly Fat Fit Guy

Fat Boy by James Marvin Phelps

Fat Squirrel cares little about your opinion of him.

I grew up as a fat kid.

Through the majority of my childhood I ranged from what might be considered chubby all the way up to full-blown obese in my teen years. At one point I was even inching up on the 300 pound mark. While the argument could be made that as a male my experience was less severe than what a female would have been subjected to I can still say I know what it’s like physically, psychologically, and socially to be a fat person.

My experiences during that time, and the time since then in which I’ve become more fit and healthy than I’ve been my entire life, are why all the attention I’ve seen lately being given to fat pride bother me. As someone who’s been in both worlds, I thought it would be helpful to express my thoughts on the subject.

Fat Shaming, Female Body Image and a Disclaimer

Rustled Jimmies Everywhere

I am fully aware that this is going to rustle some jimmies.

I want to make it very clear from the outset that I’m not advocating fat shaming here. I don’t think that the portion of the ‘fat acceptance movement’, as some people in that camp like to be called, that is against fat shaming, negative body image, or self-loathing is a bad thing. I 100% support that part of it.

I also want to recognize for a second time that, in general, this usually gets painted as a feminist or at least feminine-centric issue. Being a male, that means that my commentary is going to be coming at least a little bit as an outsider looking in. I don’t want to make it sound like I’m speaking authoritatively on the female experience because I can’t. Unfortunately, because of how generally fucked up the U.S. sociocultural environment is when it comes to female body issues I can’t get away from addressing these things in relation to this topic.

Lastly, I want to note these are just my thoughts on the subject as someone who spent most of his life in the obese category – you can think whatever you want about it. If I severely rustle your jimmies you’re welcome to leave a comment to let me know what you think.

What’s the Fat Acceptance Movement?

Before I give my understanding of all this fat acceptance stuff I want to give you a few links in the interest of fairness / just in case I’m totally misunderstanding something. I have better things to do than beat up on a straw man. So here, here, here, and here are four quick examples I found.

To my understanding the general idea is to be proud of being fat, to embrace it in order to make it a positive thing overall. It’s no secret that in the U.S. the media deifies a particular body image for both men and women that is, for the average person, at best unrealistic. This is exacerbated by the prevalence of digital editing and overall Photoshoppery that these ads are subjected to after everything else.

They rail against the psychological and physical harm this causes and argue that as a society we shouldn’t consider there to be anything wrong with being fat. To subvert the cultural standard that being fat is negative they suggest embracing it and taking it as a personal point of pride.

Hanging on to this though, as can be seen in a couple of the links above, is a related idea that trying to lose weight is either harmful, misguided, entirely impossible, or all of three combined.

The Parts of Fat Pride That I Like

The foundational message is one I can both relate to strongly and agree with – cultural ideals when it comes to body type are unnecessarily unrealistic and seriously fucked up.

If someone is overweight they should never be made to feel lesser for it. Asking people to measure up to images that have been heavily doctored and then loading them with oppressive amounts of guilt and shame when they inevitably fall well short of that is blatantly wrong.

Additionally a lot of our cultural ideas about why people become fat (they lack willpower, they’re lazy, no self-control, etc.) are flat out wrong.

Weight change and fitness are not a willpower issue. Very few people are overweight because they choose to be, or because of some fault of their own. Now, I don’t hold them entirely inculpable either, I think things like food addiction are too often blown out of proportion and used as a scapegoat. The reality falls somewhere in the middle, they’re not 100% at fault for being fat but they’re not 0% responsible for their condition either. (Sorry, if you want things with clear cut answers the fields you’re looking for are mathematics or physics, not biology.)

For all those reasons I find fat shaming reprehensible. It’s clear cut abuse and bullying. From that standpoint, I wholeheartedly support anyone who wants to stand up and say, “Haters gonna hate. Fuck you all. I like myself the way I am.”

That being said…

The Parts of Fat Pride I Despise

Tagging along with all the things I can support are some things that I’m vehemently opposed to. The primary one being an insistence that no one can lose weight or become fit long term and therefore no one should try.

Within several of the links I shared above as examples and in others I found while digging around I found it asserted repeatedly that not only is there no way for people to lose weight long term, but that it’s overall more unhealthy to try to lose weight than it is to remain overweight or obese.

As someone who has lost weight and become fit and healthy and stayed that way long term, as someone whose job it is to help other people do the same, it bothers me to hear people claim it’s not possible and work to deter people from trying.

Many of the sites making these claims cite the abstracts of flawed studies and meta-analyses to support their claims making them appear more credible to people who won’t bother to pay to read the study or who aren’t knowledgeable enough to note the flaws in the methodology. This can lead people who might have been considering making a positive change in their lives and starting the process to lose weight and get fit to instead decide not to bother.

I find this kind of active discouraging of people to improve their lives just because you don’t think it’ll work reprehensible.

My Overall Thoughts

Personally, I equate being overweight or obese with smoking cigarettes.

Culturally, as of late anyway, smoking is probably more publicly discouraged than being overweight, but I still draw a lot of parallels between the two. Most people recognize that both smoking and being overweight are generally detrimental to your health. Regardless, people are still overweight and people still smoke.

This is primarily because neither is always a ‘choice’ in the purest sense. Environmental, familial, cultural, and economic factors can predispose individuals toward smoking and/or obesity. Once you’re on the path to either, it’s extremely hard to get off of it. You can’t tell someone who is addicted to cigarettes to just ‘quit smoking’ and expect them to do it. It’s not strictly a willpower issue. In the same way you can’t just tell someone who’s overweight to ‘eat less and move more’ and expect them to get in shape.

I have family members who smoke. I care about them, so I’m always there to help and encourage them to quit. That doesn’t mean I badger them, ridicule them, or generally behave like an ass toward them if they don’t want to quit. It is, ultimately, their choice (issues of addiction and agency come into play, but we won’t go into that right now) whether they want to quit or not.

I have family who are overweight and I treat them the same way. If they want to make a change and lose weight I’m there for them. If they don’t, I’m not going to push it or shame them as a result.

I fully support any efforts to empower people to stand up to societal norms that are often at best arbitrary and at worst directly harmful. Hell, the general ethos of this site is one of embracing non-conformity. But we should also encourage people to take their health into their own hands rather than telling them that any attempts to change themselves would be futile.

Where do you stand on this? Leave a comment and let us know.

Photo Credit: James Marvin Phelps

Willpower, Discipline, and Obedience: How to Do What You Set Out to Do

Yeva and a Sausage 2 by GG Vogman

Does willpower keep the dog from eating the sausage, or obedience?

I’ve written a lot about willpower and discipline in the past because it’s a subject that fascinates me. Consider this, with the Internet it’s possible to find step-by-step instructions on how to do nearly anything. Practically anything you could ever want to do is right there, so why don’t people do it? If you’ve always wanted to speak Portuguese or play the guitar, why can’t you yet? Why aren’t you working toward that?

It’s because you don’t put in the time? And why don’t most people put in the time? Because they lack the discipline.

All the other pieces are in place for you to do whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do – the last thing is for you to have the control over yourself necessary to follow through with it.

By understanding willpower and obedience, you can do just that.

A Different Way to Look at Willpower

Willpower can be something of a tricky subject depending on how you approach it.

On one hand it’s generally accepted that it’s a finite resource, if you try to exert too much of it you eventually run out and the best way to get more is to exercise it with gradually stronger challenges like a muscle.

On another hand some research would suggest that effect is largely a result of how we perceive things. That would mean the best way to get more willpower is to firmly believe you’ve got more.

What both of these ideas have in common is that they view willpower as the ability to do something in the moment contrary to your innate desires. You want to eat that entire pint of ice cream, but you know it’ll put you over your calorie target for the day so you exert your willpower to not eat it. You want to screw around on Facebook or Reddit instead of getting to work, so you exert your willpower to force yourself to be productive, etc.

This is the common perception of what willpower means, if someone gives in to their momentary desires they’d say they lack the will to resist the temptation.

I think there’s a better way to look at it though. Rather than seeing that as a lack of will, it’s more a lack of obedience.

Willful or Obedient?

As an easy example of what I mean, I’ll use someone who smokes. Let’s call him John.

John, as noted, smokes cigarettes. John would also like to quit. He tells himself he has made the decision to quit, but then a few days later lights up a cigarette and starts smoking. If asked why he’s smoking even though he said he quit, John would attribute this akratic behavior to him not having the will to resist the urge to smoke.

Is that really the case though?

I would argue that it’s John’s will that causes him to smoke at that moment. In this sense your will is that which manifests your desires in the moment. John desired a cigarette and was willful enough to bring that desire to fruition.

So if will is the force that manifests your current desires, why does John’s will cause him to smoke? Isn’t it his desire to quit smoking?

No, actually. At least not in the moment, it’s the desire of his past self to quit smoking. Even then, technically past John didn’t even make a decision to quit smoking, but rather just had an idea that he’d like to quit. What’s the difference?

A decision is defined by action, whereas an idea doesn’t require any. Past John declared that he was going to quit smoking, but didn’t actually take any action at the time. That means he just had an idea about quitting smoking, he left the decision – the action to be taken – up to future John.

Eventually we arrive at John right now who must make a decision, does he bow to the will of past John and refuse to smoke, or does he follow his own will and have a cigarette?

Imagine for a second that rather than John deciding he shouldn’t smoke anymore someone else, his wife for instance, told him to quit. Later that day John finds that he wants to have a cigarette, clearly in this scenario if he has one he’s expressing his own will and if he doesn’t he’s being obedient to the will of his wife.

What then is the difference between that and the struggle between past John and current John?

The issue isn’t that he lacks the will to overcome his desires, it’s that he lacks the discipline to remain obedient to the will of his past self. It’s much harder to see this in decisions we make ourselves, because in general we consider our past selves and our current selves to be a single entity.

In the end, there is no appreciable difference between past John telling current John not so smoke and John’s wife telling John not to smoke. In either case John must either obey and not smoke, or exercise his own will and have a cigarette.

Becoming Disciplined

So if this is the case, shouldn’t we be able to find a model somewhere of people who are more able than most to complete a plan they made in the past irrespective of any desires they have in the present?

As it turns out, we do have an excellent model of this – the military.

People who have gone through military training are often held up as an example of people who have a great deal of self-control, discipline and, in the traditional sense, willpower. They’re considered more able than the common person to accomplish something the set out to do.

However, the military clearly doesn’t operate by encouraging its members to be willful. On the contrary it teaches you to obey the commands given to you nearly without thought. One of the apparent purposes of basic training is to crush recruits and beat them down physically and psychologically until their will is broken. Drill sergeants do not exist to encourage recruits to be willful.

Once your will has been broken down and your instinct is to obey the orders of others, it becomes easy to obey the orders of your past self.

That being the case, if we want to do what we set out to do in the past (get fit, learn a language, finish a project, etc.) than we need to develop military style discipline. The most obvious answer for how to accomplish that – aside from joining the military – is to mimic their methods for instilling discipline in recruits.

The easiest way to start is to choose one small thing to do everyday that you know, in the moment when it comes time to do it, you aren’t going to want to do.

At first this should be something small and insignificant, my personal favorite choice is the freezing cold shower.

Commit right now to taking a freezing cold shower tomorrow morning. Do you know what’s going to happen? Tomorrow you’re going to stand in front of the shower, turn it as cold as it can get, and then you’re probably going to panic.

You know it’s going to be cold. You know it’s going to be awful. You’re going to want to back out, to do it another day, you’re going to tell yourself it’s a stupid idea. At this point you’re either going to be willful and crank the heat back up, or you’re going to do what you said you would and get in that cold shower.

The key here is to obey without giving yourself the chance not to. To condition yourself to ignore that urge to disobey and just jump in the shower. The first day is going to be the worst. After that though, it’ll get easier. Before long there won’t be any struggle at all anymore.

By continually doing exercises like these, starting small and then working on to bigger things, you can eventually overcome your will and develop the discipline to obey your past decisions no matter how badly you want to violate them in the moment.

Once you can do that, you can pretty much accomplish anything you want.

What do you think? Is willpower more about having the strength to ignore your desires, or having the discipline to obey the desires of your past self? Is there a real difference between the two? Let us know in the comments.

Photo Credit: GGVogman

My Personal Philosophy Part II: Putting it Into Practice

Philosophy and Inspiration by Jasohill

In the previous post on my personal philosophy I outlined my foundational positions on some things as they relate to shaping how I view the world. Since I don’t think anything is really useful unless it can be applied in practice in some way, I’m following it up with this post on how my personal philosophy informs my actions and how I deal with certain things.

Since my personal goal in life is a hedonistic one of trying to maximize my happiness and peace of mind during my short existence the primary focus of all of these practices will be to do just that – maximize my personal peace of mind and contentment primarily through reduction of negative stimulus / emotions and a minimization of desires.

I’ve written it prescriptively, as though I’m giving advice, but you don’t have to take it that way. I’ve gotten good mileage from it, but if you don’t hold the same positions as myself from the previous post your results may vary. I don’t think this is a one size fits all philosophy, so regardless of my writing style don’t take it as being writ in stone.

I’m going to start with the internal side of things. It is much easier to change yourself than it is to change the world around you, so in my view the best way to create the largest effect with the least effort is to begin by gaining control of your internal processes.

Cultivating Emotional Control

You are largely in control of your own emotional states. There are caveats, of course, your brain chemistry is for the most part still something that most people are not directly aware of and it can easily override or undermine your conscious thought processes.

Even so with practice you can – in the same way that people learn to control, ignore and suppress feelings of hunger or discomfort – learn to control your own emotional states. Since happiness and peace of mind are emotional states, this an excellent place to start on the road to achieving them.

When there is a problem, or when you feel like you’re off track, you should always attempt to change yourself to correct the problem before trying to change the situation externally.

Recognizing Negative Emotions

The first step in cultivating control of your emotions is to learn to recognize and address the ones that are going to cause the biggest problems – the negative ones.

Developing mindfulness is key here. Whenever a negative emotion arises, be it anger, fear, sadness or whatever, you need to be able to recognize when those emotions arise then take a step back and examine as objectively as possible why you’re feeling them and what’s causing them.

Once you do that you can come to understand why you no longer need to feel that emotion and let it drift away. The easiest way to allow yourself to let go of an emotion you don’t want is by examining it through the dichotomy of control.

The Dichotomy of Control

The dichotomy of control is the fact that there are two possible states to everything, either it is under your control or it is not under it. This doesn’t have to be an absolute, there are grades of how much control you may have over something, but everything in existence must fall into either the category of at least partially under your control or not under your control at all. No exceptions.

When you recognize this you can view each situation to determine which category it falls into. If it falls into the first category and is something you can control, determine if you did or can do everything under your power to make the situation better. If it falls into the second category don’t even think about it – things that are 100% outside of your control needn’t be bothered with since there is absolutely nothing you can do about them.

For example, say you’re worried that one day the Sun will explode and wipe out all life on Earth in a supernova. There’s nothing you can do about that, at least not practically, so you might as well let that worry go. It’s not helping you and its just wasting your time and energy.

On the other side let’s say you’re angry you didn’t get a promotion you wanted. Assuming it’s based on your performance this is presumably something under your control. Look back at your performance and determine if there were areas you could have performed better. If there were, let go of the anger and resolve to do those things next time. If you determine you did everything you possibly could, then it turns out it wasn’t under your control after all and there’s nothing else you could’ve done. No sense being angry over something you can’t control so let it go and try again next time.

Embrace the Ephemeral

If you recall from my previous post I don’t accept the existence of any deities, afterlife or the idea that life has any inherent meaning. In the grand scheme of the universe I am an insignificant blip of carbon that got disassembled almost immediately after coming into existence. Through the lens of deep time my life is more infinitesimally small than a single hydrogen atom in the entire Pacific ocean.

Nothing is permanent and everything I know and care about will eventually be gone. So why worry?

Existence is transient and largely trivial. Does it really matter that I spilled coffee on myself this morning? Is it such a big deal that the car in front of me cut me off? Am I going to die because I got rejected for something I wanted? Most of the things that we get upset about are laughably insignificant when you look at them in terms of the big picture, so don’t let them make you miserable now.

Even if that weren’t the case nothing lasts. As miserable as you can possibly get it can never be eternal, so remind yourself that this too shall pass and move on. Dwelling on negatives will never lead to increased happiness or peace of mind.

Eliminate your Expectations

Disappointment is the sum deficit between your expectations and reality. By eliminating your expectations entirely or by always assuming that the worst possible outcome is inevitable you keep yourself from dealing with the pain of something falling short of your expectations.

Now when I say to expect the most negative outcome I don’t mean to dwell on it. Instead use your examination of the worst possible outcome as a way to eliminate your fear of failure. When you ask yourself what the worst thing that could happen is, it’s almost always not that bad. Especially when you remember the ephemerality of things as noted above.

When you understand that the worst case scenario is never that bad, there’s no reason to worry about it. Then you can expect it knowing you’re totally ready for it and, in the cases when the outcome is much better, be pleasantly surprised. Besides, most things are outside of your control, so having high expectations on the outcome of situations beyond your control is like gambling with your piece of mind. Don’t surrender control of your happiness to chance.

Live Now and Be Mindful

You only have this moment right now. The past falls into the category of things you can’t control or change under any circumstances (until someone invents a time machine, though that might not even be logically possible from a space-time standpoint) so let go of it. Worrying about or being hung up on the past is one of the stupidest things you can do – you’re poisoning your present over something you can never change.

Similarly, don’t worry about the future. You should certainly plan for it to the best of your ability, but accept that what will come will come and the most you can do is accept it and deal with it when it’s here. You’ll control what you can and the rest there’s no sense in worrying about. Don’t worry so much about what the future holds that you miss out on the present.

Practice being as mindful and present in the current moment as possible as often as you can.

Neutralizing Negative Input

There are at least two types of negative input, physical discomfort and psychological discomfort. Physical discomfort would be things like pain, hunger, stress etc. while psychological discomfort would be things like insults, derision or humiliation by others.

Physical discomfort can be acclimated to, processed and internalized through practice. For example, an easy way to practice becoming one with the feeling of hunger and getting over the discomfort it causes is to occasionally engage in controlled fasting. Through regulated exposure you can become familiar with it and eventually it no longer causes discomfort.

The reason this can be important on the physical side of things is that our thoughts, actions and emotions are often strongly affected by our physical state and any discomfort we may be experiencing. People who are under a lot of stress, are extremely hungry or are in some similar state of physical discomfort are going to have a much more negative state of mind and negative behavior than someone who isn’t being affected by those things.

When it comes to psychological discomfort caused by others the best thing to do is understand that no one can cause you psychological discomfort without your permission. No one can directly make you angry, sad or anything else they can only take actions to create circumstances that would normally cause you to assume that state. In the end the control still lies with you.

Now again your brain chemistry can be a powerful thing, so this will take some practice as well. Most people can’t just flip a mental switch and no longer be angry or upset about things. Using some of the frameworks and realizations above helps, as does understanding that someone can only successfully insult you if you have a related insecurity. You effectively can’t insult a person by calling them a tree or something equally absurd, and if you’ve let go of your insecurities any insults or humiliation people attempt to bring to bear on you will seem just as ridiculous because you’ve stripped them of any ammunition.

Interacting with the Physical World

This second section deals primarily with your interactions with the physical world and things outside of yourself. This may at times still entail making changes to yourself rather than attempting to control your environment, but it’s more about what you do externally rather than how you process things mentally.

Pursue Physical Fitness and Health

Unhealthiness is an inherently discordant and negative state and is substantially less conducive to achieving happiness and peace of mind than is healthiness.

As a result, you should always be striving toward a state of health and physical fitness. Like anything this pursuit should not become so obsessive that it goes too far and begins to damage your happiness and peace of mind in other areas. Be reasonable, but always strive to be as fit and healthy as possible and avoid things that would reduce your healthiness whenever you can.

Neither Judge nor Begrudge

Remembering that in general people are not directly responsible for their actions as a result of holding a position of soft determinism it isn’t appropriate to judge people for their actions and isn’t appropriate to hold a grudge or seek revenge.

When harmed it is appropriate only to take sufficient action to ensure that no more harm will be done in the future. For example, if someone is convicted of murder they should be imprisoned not as retribution but as a means to ensure that they don’t cause harm to anyone else.

If someone causes you direct harm remember that they’re not entirely in control of their actions and don’t hold that harm against them. If there’s an obvious threat of further harm being caused take the absolute minimum effective action required to remove that threat of harm and move on.

I should note this doesn’t mean to necessarily forget that harm was caused, it may be important to remember as a means to avoid future harm, however you should forgive the transgressor.

Minimize Physical Desires

Embracing a general practice of minimalism and gratitude and being content with what you currently have will make it substantially easier to achieve a general state of happiness and piece of mind.

People have a general psychological set point of happiness to which we naturally return over time. In other words, even if you win the lottery tomorrow and are awarded 10 million dollars over time your happiness will equalize and you’ll find you need something even bigger to raise your happiness again.

This inevitably leads to disappointment when your desires can’t be met.

By eliminating extraneous physical desires and learning to be happy with what you have you create a space where your peace of mind is not dependent on constantly gaining more things but remains at a stable point. When your desires are easy to fulfill and keep fulfilled you never feel the pain of being unable to fulfill them or the loss of a desire that was previously fulfilled.

Much like lowering general expectations the less you want the happier you will be overall.

Always Seek to Minimize Harm to Others and Increase Happiness

In general causing harm to others will always result in a net reduction of peace of mind and happiness for yourself. Even if, temporarily, harming others increases your happiness (for example by theft of an item you desire) in the end it will bring more negative outcomes than positive.

There’s the obvious negative of potential legal consequences, including the reduction in peace of mind caused by fear of being caught. There’s also the fear of retribution directly from the harmed party. Additionally there’s the negative feelings of regret and guilt most people experience from knowingly harming others.

Outside of all of those your peace of mind and happiness is best served by existing in a society where everyone tries to maximize everyone else’s happiness and cause as little harm as possible. If you cause harm to others you are contributing to creating an environment where everyone harms others which is a less than ideal environment to exist in if your goal is to maximize your own happiness.

When you help others they are encouraged to help you increase your own happiness and peace of mind. By contributing to the creation of an environment where everyone is inclined to assist everyone else achieve happiness you maximize your own chances to do so as well.

To this end beneficence, honesty, respect and charity are all virtues one should attempt to embrace and cultivate.

While I’ve tried my best to distill the practices I follow in order to maximize my own happiness I’m certain there are things I’ve overlooked or not considered. Regardless this is a relatively complete list and hopefully can serve as a starting point for determining your own practices for maximizing happiness and peace of mind.

Do you have any similar practices? Anything you do differently that you’d like to discuss or concerns with my reasoning? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Jasohill

My Personal Philosophy Part I: The Foundations

My Philosophy Bookshelf by Jared Dunn

A lot of people have expressed an interest in my personal philosophy, what positions I hold on various things and so on, so I decided to write up a pair of posts to go over the topic. This first post will go over my basic philosophy on life and brief explanations of why I hold those positions. I don’t think philosophy is worth anything until you put it into practice though, so the second post will detail how my personal philosophy dictates my actions in trying to lead as good a life as possible. If you don’t care about my rationalizations and just want to get right to the practical stuff, feel free to skip right to that post.

This is in no way an extensive outline on my philosophy, that would take more time and space than I want to give to the topic and is fluid enough that I’d have to revise it too often. Instead, these are just the foundational principles of my personal philosophy – or at least the ones that I can pin down concretely.

Agnostic Atheism

I’m beginning with this not because it’s a particularly divisive and contentious issue (though it is) but rather because for most people including myself one’s position on this particular point directly influences and informs their opinion on nearly every other point. As such it’s best to deal with it first.

I am an agnostic atheist. What that means is that while I don’t claim no gods exist no claims for the existence of deities has met a sufficient burden of truth for me to accept them as true. In other words, I’m technically open to the possibility that gods may exist due to the impossibility of proving a negative. However, because there are none with enough evidence to show their existence my default position is that none exist and will remain so until I’m proven wrong.

There are certainly some gods which I would argue can be essentially disproven, for example we can fly to the top of Mount Olympus and check for Zeus and family. Most however fall into a non-disprovable area, much in the same way you can’t prove I don’t have an invisible, non-corporeal, multi-dimensional unicorn in my office.

Thankfully the burden of proof is on those making the positive claim – since the ones positing the existence of one or many deities has yet to meet that burden I have no impetus to accept those claims as true.

Methodological Naturalism

This position ties in closely with my position on the question of theism above because the same basic principles lead to the conclusion of both.

I am a methodological naturalist, although technically you could probably call me a weak or agnostic philosophical/metaphysical naturalist as well. So what does that mean?

A philosophical or metaphysical naturalist holds the position that nothing exists outside of the nature. In other words, there are no supernatural things in existence. Now while I agree with that position in general, it falls into the same issue of being unable to prove a negative. I can’t prove without a shadow of a doubt that nothing supernatural exists, which is why I could consider myself an agnostic metaphysical naturalist – I can’t claim I know for sure supernatural things don’t exist, but currently there’s no good reason to accept that they do so I stick to the null hypothesis.

Methodological naturalism means that, regardless of your position on whether supernatural things can or cannot exist at all, you interact with the world as though they do not. For example, a methodological naturalist might not claim absolutely that a magic spell doesn’t exist somewhere that will cure their infection – but they’re going to take the penicillin anyway.

This has some influence on other positions I hold that don’t necessarily merit their own section. Since I don’t currently accept the existence of anything supernatural it means I don’t accept the existence of a soul or spirits, nor do I accept the existence of any kind of afterlife. To a point it also influences my next position, a lack of the acceptance of the claim that we possess free will.

Compatibilism / Soft Determinism

My absolute position on free will is a bit hard to pin down since it can be kind of an amorphous topic. To start I obviously reject the notion of absolute free will. I don’t have the ‘free will’ to travel back in time, to make a square circle exist or to zap gold into being out of nowhere with my mind. This should be the position most people hold already I would hope but it’s good to clarify.

My position of compatibilism, or maybe weak determinism if you prefer that term, means that I hold that while we have some semblance of ‘choice’ that most lay people would consider a form of free will our general actions are overall determined entirely or almost entirely by previous events.

When you ‘decide’ to do something consciously neurons began firing before you made that conscious decision. In other words the parts of your brain that you don’t control had already directed you to do something before you knew you were going to do it.

I’m not going to go into much detail on why I hold this position since it really deserves more something book length than a couple paragraphs to do it justice. Regardless it entails that I hold people to be generally irrational beings who are not in full agency of the decisions they make.

Weak Moral Subjectivism

My position of weak moral subjectivism means that I hold that morality is a purely human construct and we don’t receive our morality from any ‘higher’ place or being. Obviously if I did it would conflict with my position as a naturalist.

That being said, the reason I consider myself a weak moral subjectivist instead of a strong one is that I do feel that as an intelligent species we can come to agreements on moral precepts that should be at least in a de facto manner objective. A strong moral subjectivist may hold the position that all opinions on morality are equal and all bets are off as to what anyone should do, whereas I think we can (and must to thrive) all agree on some standards that are essentially objective if not truly so.

As an example, we can all hopefully agree that shooting a nail gun in your own eye causes harm and is a bad idea. There may be some extremely rare individual where doing so causes them a ton of pleasure, but as a general rule most of the population is better off not doing it. In a similar vein we can hopefully all agree that causing harm to others is bad and should be avoided.

Not causing harm to others then is an example of a moral precept which, while not technically objective because it is constructed via societal agreement and may hold extremely rare exceptions (harming one person to save 10,000 for example), it works as if it were objective.

Sartrean Existentialism

Sartre-ish existentialism may be a better term for my views as there are some points I disagree with Sartre on but it’s close enough.

This position – standing firmly on that foundation of naturalism and atheism – holds that existence, life and everything else hold no innate or inherent meaning or purpose. In other words your meaning in life is determined after you exist, not before, and hopefully by you. There is no plan to the universe, no reason behind everything except the cold fact that the laws of physics are such that things are as they are. Any concept of meaning in life is entirely the invention of sentient beings.

Now if you’re coming from a theist position originally this may seem bleak. After all, most theists are brought up consistently told their deity of choice has a plan and purpose for them. Losing that can feel a bit disorienting.

Personally though I much prefer knowing that my purpose in life is mine to determine. After all, there’s no guarantee you’d actually like the plan your deity had for you. I find it substantially more comforting knowing I’m the architect of my own destiny – within the bounds of determinism of course.

Epicurean Hedonism / Buddho-Daoist Hedonism

This last one can get a bit complicated, but I’m going to try to boil it down to its essence as best as possible.

I am technically a hedonist in that I consider the pursuit of pleasure the primary goal in life. Given my prior positions I have no expectation of an afterlife or anything beyond my relatively short existence. As such, I feel it reasonable to make the most of it.

However, I am an Epicurean hedonist, or maybe a Buddho-Daoist hedonist in that I think the pursuit of pleasure via excess actually causes more harm than direct pleasure.

In other words, endless pursuit of your desires and physical pleasures causes a diminishing returns problem. You always need more and more and more to reach the same baseline of happiness and, inevitably, you’re either going to cause harm to yourself as a result of your pursuit of those desires or reach a point where attaining them is essentially an impossibility and you cause yourself excess suffering through unfulfillable desires.

A much better way to pursue lasting, maximized happiness then is to eliminate as much of your desire for things as you possibly can in order to be happy with what you have. You can achieve much more happiness if the simple things, the easy things to get and achieve, are what make you most happy.

To that end, this flavor of hedonism entails a strong focus on minimalism and self-improvement over materialism and immediate physical pleasures. In the way a heroin addict may reach excessively high volumes of happiness but overall ends up miserable, Epicurean hedonism also tries to avoid a self-destructive false happiness for one that’s more sustainable.

So in an easy, bullet point summarized format for the tl;dr crowd:

  • I don’t currently accept the existence of any gods.

  • I don’t currently accept the existence of the supernatural.

  • I hold that while we have some agency over our actions that the average person would call ‘free will’ or ‘choice’ the majority of our actions are determined previously by events and circumstances beyond our control.

  • I hold that moral systems are a construct of sentient minds and have no inherent meaning beyond that, however there are standards we as a species can agree upon as de facto ‘objective’ moral standards.

  • I don’t currently accept the concept that life, the universe or anything has any kind of inherent meaning or purpose. I hold that meaning and purpose are the creation of sentient minds.

  • I hold that pursuit of happiness and pleasure are an ideal goal, however the best way to achieve it is by minimizing desires and needs until a lasting state of happiness is easy to achieve.

If you’re curious how these positions actually inform my actions and decisions on a day to day basis in a practical way you can read my follow up article that I will be posting tomorrow.

I’d like to hear what you think too! Do yo hold any of the same positions? Do you completely disagree with any of them? Have you thought at all about your own personal philosophies? Share in the comments!

Photo Credit: Jared Dunn

You’re Not Bored – You’re Boring

Yawn by Bark

You’re even boring this poor dog.

There are few things you can say that make me quite as angry as “I’m bored”.

If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you’re in a relatively modernized country and have access to reliable Internet. That single resource means that you have absolutely no excuse to ever consider yourself bored.

Boredom is a unique affliction in that, by definition, you could potentially do anything to fix it.

It’s that reason that I think the real problem when people always find themselves feeling bored is that in reality they’re just boring people.

I’m Bored = I’m Boring

There are a lot of ways to be boring, so I’m not going to outline all of the things that can lead to being a severely boring person. It might be that you’re stuck in a rut, that you’re scared of trying new things, or maybe you’ve just been raised in a way that discouraged expanding your horizons.

There can be lots of causes, but the single common symptom to being a boring person is frequently feeling bored.

If you’re frequently finding yourself saying, “I’m bored,” then you’re probably a pretty boring person. That’s a bad thing. You probably don’t want to be boring. Sure, you can argue that point – but being a boring person means a lot of time spent on mundane, uninteresting things. You’ve only got so much time to spend here in existence (until they finally invent replacement robot parts or something) so in my view you should get the most out of it.

Fighting Boredom

As I mentioned, there are way too many potential causes of being a boring person to recommend courses of action for each. You might need to overcome your fear of new things or figure out how to haul yourself out of your rut or whatever.

There are some easy things you can do right now though to start dealing with the symptoms of being a boring person, namely the boredom itself.

  • Learn Something New – Since we’ve established you’ve got an Internet connection by virtue of you currently being reading this you’ve also got access to hundreds of thousands of free educational materials that are seconds away at every single moment.

    There’s YouTube University, Coursera, edX, and Open Culture to name a few.

    If it comes down to it, you can even resort to the ‘Random Article’ button on Wikipedia.

    If you can genuinely say there’s not a single thing there that interests you in the least then I can’t help you.

  • Make Something – People who make things are interesting too. If you’ve already got a hobby that you’re ‘bored’ with then pick a new one and get to it. It can be something physical like a woodworking project, crocheted amigurumi or counter-culture needlework piece, or something like writing prose, poetry, or a blog post, or drawing or painting something.

    Doing creative things both helps you fight off a boredom and it helps fuel further creative efforts. The more creative things you do, the more creative you wind up being and the less bored and more interesting you wind up being.

  • Limit Exposure to Mindless Things – While having access to something like the Internet is definitely a huge aid in eliminating boredom, it can be a bit of a double edged sword.

    Things like Internet and TV can act kind of like a boredom suppressing drug. It’s easy to fall into mindless TV watching for a few hours and feel like you aren’t bored anymore, but it’s just glossing over the symptoms in the most superficial way. It’s a bandage. Really not even that, because a bandage is actually a little useful.

    You know when you decide to vegetate in front of a TV that you’re still bored, you’re just bored in a distracted way. That’s not the point.

    If you find yourself falling into this kind of trap go in the opposite direction. Go out and do something. Get outside and away from TV and Internet and phones and everything else. Whether that means going somewhere in a city or off into the woods the point is to disconnect a bit and find something to be present in.

These are just a few examples, with things like Project Gutenberg or the expansive Kindle library available to you and all the other resources out there you have no excuse.

Boredom is a choice.

Next time you’re bored get up and do something about it rather than sitting around and moping.

Have any other suggestions for not being so bored or boring anymore? Leave a comment!

Photo Credit: Bark

7 Life Lessons from Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee by Chris Zielecki

Bruce Lee had a lot of good advice – and not just about martial arts.

It’s no secret – after over a decade of practicing and eventually teaching Jeet Kune Do, and being involved in parkour for nearly as long, Bruce Lee is a huge role model for me.

It’s not just his discipline, martial arts skill and fitness that inspire me though. Bruce Lee was fascinated by philosophy (it’s even an enduring legend he was a philosophy major, although technically he majored in drama) and it shows in his interviews and writing – he had a lot to say on how he best thought to live a good life.

In that spirit I’ve collected seven of his lessons here for you to make your life better.

1. Simplify Everything

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

One of, or arguably the only, foundational tenet of Jeet Kune Do is to keep what’s useful and discard what’s useless.

In Jeet Kune Do it doesn’t matter how much you personally like a certain strike, lock or other technique – if there’s an objectively better, simpler, more efficient way of doing the same thing you ditch the old one and embrace the new. Tradition is subservient to utility.

This is a lot like how the scientific method works. If someone is wrong about something they’re overjoyed to be proven wrong, because it means progress.

You can embrace the same values throughout your life, both in terms of the physical and mental. For starters, an easy way to simplify the physical side of things is to look around at all the stuff you have and ask yourself if trying to go a little more minimalist wouldn’t be a good idea.

When it comes to the mental side of things, embrace the idea that being proven wrong is a good thing.

Stop clinging to old ideas, habits and ways of thinking just because they’re what you’ve always been used to. Stop feeling like you have to save face or get defensive. Hold on to concepts and positions you can legitimately defend but as soon as they’ve been shown to be illogical or that there’s a better way, abandon them without remorse.

Don’t think of your life as a building being built, think of it as a statue being chiseled out of marble – you need to keep chiseling away until you have something beautiful or you’re just going to be left with a chunk of rock.

2. Live for Yourself

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

The more you try to build your life around the expectations of others, the more you set yourself up for unhappiness and disappointment.

Whether it’s feeling like you always have to buy the next best thing or get the latest piece of technology or feeling like you have to follow the standard track of college and a steady job and a house in the suburbs – if it’s not what you really want don’t do it!

I don’t want to go off on a non-conformist rant here, because non-conformity in and of itself is not purely a good thing. I can’t tell you how many people I see on a day to day basis though who seem to be going through the motions because it’s what society, family or whoever expects of them. Figure out what makes you happy and pursue it however you best can.

On a side note, this goes both ways. Don’t try to pressure people into a path they don’t want to follow just because you don’t like it or it’s not what you expected of them.

3. Don’t Wait, Act

“To hell with circumstances, I create opportunities.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

If you’re always waiting around for the right opportunity it will never come.

To paraphrase W.B. Yeats, don’t wait to strike while the iron’s hot – make it hot by striking. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do figure out how to accomplish it and get started. Sure patience is a virtue, and good things do come to those who wait, but better things come to those who get off their asses and get them on their own.

It’s easy to delay things by saying it’s not the right time, or the circumstances just aren’t good right now. Nine times out of ten this is just fear talking. People use this as a way to avoid failure by never trying.

Stop that.

You need to take control of your own life and work toward whatever it is you want. You can’t get where you’re going by standing still, so quit wasting time – shut up and do something

4. Be Mindful and Positive

“As you think, so shall you become.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

Now to clarify here, I’m not talking about any of that ridiculous “law of attraction” stuff. I give everything in The Secret as much credit as I do the Tooth Fairy. If you’d like to make a positive claim about it feel free but I’m going to need some evidence.

That being said, while it isn’t going to magically bring you good fortune (“Accio winning lottery ticket!”), your state of mind will strongly influence your own actions and influence your mood and attitudes.

If you’re always dwelling on how terrible things are, how you’re a failure or not good enough, how you’d love to accomplish some goal but you know it’ll never happen – then you’re going to sabotage your own efforts.

One of the biggest determining factors in whether someone succeeds or fails at a goal is whether or not they give up. When you focus on the positives and keep a good outlook you’re that much more likely to be able to persevere. As long as you don’t quit you’re guaranteed to accomplish your goal eventually.

Well, or die trying, but in that case it won’t really be important to you anymore.

The key is to be mindful of your internal monologue and aim to be positive, supportive and confident.

5. Always Fight Bias

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better than. Be not for or against.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

I don’t take this to mean that you should be indecisive about everything, that would be a bad idea. What I take from this is that you should not let flawed reasoning, bias and personal opinion color your decision making – if someone or something is objectively right then they’re right, whether you like it or not.

I see this as largely complimentary to point number one. If we allow ourselves to fall into all the common mental traps that lead us to make flawed, biased conclusions then it’s impossible to properly determine and excise the things that are holding us back.

Do your best to approach every conflict objectively and dispassionately. Make a habit of stepping outside of your preconceived notions and looking at issue from the opposite viewpoint of what you instinctively gravitate toward.

A good exercise that I employ is to regularly seek out authorities on a subject who hold a position contrary to my own and read as much of their arguments as I can with an attempt to be as objective as possible.

This encourages you to question your reasons for coming to your own decisions and correct them if they’re faulty.

6. Learn About Yourself Externally

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

We are terrible at coming up with accurate models of ourselves in our own heads.

It’s not necessarily for conscious reasons – people just have a subconscious tendency to picture themselves a certain way and then delude themselves into thinking that’s accurate. It’s very easy to overestimate your good qualities and underestimate the negative things about you because, when it comes to evaluating yourself, you’re by definition the single most biased person in existence.

Instead aim to learn about yourself through observation of your actions and interactions with other people.

You may think you’re a super kind or thoughtful person, but don’t just take your own word for it – critically examine how you treat other people. Are you really as thoughtful as you thought you were?

One of the best judges of a person’s character is to observe how they treat someone or something from whom they have nothing to gain and nothing to fear. You should hold yourself to the same standard in order to determine if you actually exemplify all the traits you desire.

7. Be Yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself.” – Bruce Lee (Tweet This)

I know. Everyone tells you to be yourself.

It bears repeating though, because it’s easy to lose yourself and start acting like someone else. Check every now and again by asking yourself if what you’re doing is what you really want to do or if you’re doing it for the sake of others.

I don’t need to tell you how or why to be yourself, but it’s on you to keep yourself on the right track.

There are way, way more quotes and more lessons from Bruce Lee on how to lead a better life.

Do you agree or disagree with the ones here? Have one you’d really like to add? Share it in the comments!

Photo Credit: Chris Zielecki